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Original poster

Dismissal but employer wants to be friends

13 replies

Putthatbookdown · 12/07/2012 14:44

Friend been forced to resign.They have said it is nothing personal and want her to keep up a relationship/contact with them How is this possible if it looks like unfair dismissal? The boss said "Can we still be friends?" 3 others have asked her to come in but she does not feel like it ?

OP posts:
mistlethrush · 12/07/2012 15:56

Why would she want to remain friends if she's been forced to resign?

takingthestairs · 12/07/2012 15:59

That sounds like the employer is trying to ensure she doesn't take a case against them for unfair dismissal and would use any continuing relationship/contact as proof that it wasn't unfair/constructive dismissal.

Blu · 12/07/2012 16:09

In their incompetence they are either trying to forfend against unfair or constructive dismissal, or are just 'trying to be nice' by emphasising the 'nothing personal'.
On what grounds has she been forced to resign? How long in post?

In small companies where people make friends but also have to make sensible business decisions, it is possible to stay friends out of work - but that happens after the dust has settled etc. The end of employment needs dealing with professionally.

Surely she can just take or leave the 'stay friends' offer and proceed as she would have done had nothing been said? It isn't actually relevant to anything.

mrscumberbatch · 13/07/2012 01:49

I don't know, I was good friends with my ex manager who had to let me go. "I really wasn't suited for the job and hated it"

We're not as close now as we were but still catch up and I don't hold any grudges. She was doing what was best for her job.

Original poster
Putthatbookdown · 13/07/2012 18:42

She has been bullied so she will not be able to return to the place of work

OP posts:
Blu · 13/07/2012 19:08

Bullied by who? the managers, or other employees?

Lots of detailed and knowldegabel support and advice available on MN, but you need to give more details about what happened.

Original poster
Putthatbookdown · 15/07/2012 10:46

They have asked her family if they can arrange for her to come in and see them but it is just 5 mins since they asked her to leave.Far too soon Can they discuss this with her family without her permission?

OP posts:
StickyProblem · 15/07/2012 10:51

Why are they talking to her family? Is she under 18?

She should stay away from them, and call a lawyer if she thinks she has a case for unfair dismissal. I agree with takingthestairs.

Original poster
Putthatbookdown · 15/07/2012 11:07

She is keeping away from them -it is them who are coming near her!!
No she is not under 18

OP posts:
MrsSquirrel · 15/07/2012 11:40

She doesn't have to be friendly with anyone she doesn't want to. If they invite her, she can politely refuse. If they keep insisting after she refuses, that is bullying.
.
Completely reasonable for her to want to steer clear of them. I would be the same.

Original poster
Putthatbookdown · 15/07/2012 11:52

One of them keeps turning up at the house-not asked if he can come etc She is being polite Unsure why this cannot be dealt with by the employer on their premises???

OP posts:
MrsSquirrel · 15/07/2012 12:17

If they turn up at the house uninvited, she does not have to talk to them or engage in any way. A polite 'sorry it's not convenient for me to talk to you now,' repeat as necessary and don't get drawn in.

Original poster
Putthatbookdown · 15/07/2012 14:39

I think the problem is she is polite and they are walking all over her I think the only way is the cops

OP posts:
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