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Original poster

this is going to be controversial............

10 replies

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 02/03/2006 13:41

but I have to say it.

I was a full time SAHM with DS1 until he started school. Started working part-time (30hrs a week) when DS2 was 2 (so he's had 2yrs of me fulltime).

Something struck me the other morning when I got back from work and DS2 was chattering away. I've actually noticed more of his 'milestones' since I started work than I did before.

With DS1 I was with him all the time, and DS2 most of the time until he was 2 ( left him at home with DH to do my church stuff). However with DS1 I realised today I didn't really pick-up on how he was changing and growing up. DH used to see him at the weekends and say "wow he's doing x,y,z now" and my response would be something along the lines of "oh he's be doing that for a while now"......but actually didn't really know how long he'd been doing it.

I suppose I was the same with DS2 until he was 2 as I was at home all day.

But now I can really see how he's changing, things that "just happened" are more obvious now and I really think it's opened my eyes a bit more Shock

Don't get me wrong, I loved being at home fulltime , but I've actually realised now, properly, that working when your children isn't such a bad thing, all too easy to take their progress for granted (or not even notice it as it all melds together - especially at DS2's age) instead of appreciating.

Don't know if this makes sense but it's been bugging me Blush

OP posts:
purpleturtle · 02/03/2006 13:46

In a simliar vein...
Dd started school in January, and all of a sudden I've begun to notice what ds can do. He's not quite 2 years younger, and I think I've always assumed that dd has been doing everything! Ds wrote his name for the first time this week - I'd no idea he could form any letters! Blush

RachD · 02/03/2006 13:46

I don't think its that contraversial QofQ.
It does make sense.
I do enjoy being at work, p/t.
As, I'm driving home, I think about and look forward to being with ds (and dh)
And I too, notice, and take more notice of ds and the things he is doing, saying.

Now, lets not offend anyone.
I am not saying that SAHM don't.
I'm just saying that I agree with you and think that being away, PERSONALLY, makes me notice more, when I come home.

That idea, is not uncommon in relationships and marriages.
SOMETIMES, you appreciate someone more when they have been away, and then return.

Angeliz · 02/03/2006 13:51

My dp works away every week and sometimes he notices something that dd is doing different when he gets back. I guess i don't notice everything as i'm with her 24 hours a day.

harpsichordcarrier · 02/03/2006 13:52

i don't think it's that controversial. i notice this with friend's children for example, if i don't see them for a few days.
it is nice to appreciate your children in this way.
it is also very nice to see them all the time, if you can, if you want to. personally, i like it better.
i don't think seeing them all the time necessaily means taking them for granted though.

emily05 · 02/03/2006 13:55

I can understand what you mean. My sil came over at the weekend and was astounded at how much ds has grown since she last saw him and how different he is. I am a sahm and am with ds alot and to be honest hadnt noticed any difference! So I know what you mean

Original poster
HRHQueenOfQuotes · 02/03/2006 15:39

I didn't say it wasn't nice to see them all the time. I loved being a SAHM, just as I also now love being a working mum. I just think it is easy to not see them changing when you're with them all the time.

OP posts:
prettybird · 02/03/2006 15:52

I remember my (working) best friend telling me it doesnt matter exactly when they do soemthing: the first time you see it is waht is special.

BTW - how's work and the note taking?

Original poster
HRHQueenOfQuotes · 02/03/2006 15:56

Pretty - works ok actually. I wasn't working with that girl last week as she was off sick. Been on with the Night Supervisor and the Deputy Manager (who was covering for someone else off sick) so decided not to do notes on the nights I was on with them - seen as though they'd be the ones asking questions if anything came up later.......and they'd have been there.

Shall be note taking tonight and tomorrow though.

One good thing is that we now have the 2 Rotas up for our shifts so I know exactly when I'll be working from now on. Feel strangely a lot more relaxed knowing I'm going to have some 'order' in my life again. I've done 3 months of not knowing from one week to the next which nights I'll be working, and as a consequence feeling a bit unsettled at times.

OP posts:
prettybird · 02/03/2006 16:18

Maybe you should just note on the those days: "on duty with Noght Supervisor/Deputy manager/whoever" if you feel you have enough confidence that they will support you.

remember though that this "diary" is not just about trying to prove the other girl worng; it is also to prove that yuo are thoroughly professional in all that yuo do. The fact that you are professional on these nights is just as mch ammunition - it makes you look very organised when you can say that "your" records show that you have always done x,y and z.

turniphead · 02/03/2006 16:22

turnips grow so quickly Sad

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