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Shall I take a full-time job or be a SAHM?

14 replies

hambalala · 10/07/2012 13:36

I know this subject can incite strong opinions - but I'd really love some balanced advice.

I'm totally torn. I am a SAHM with a DS of almost two years old who goes to nursery twice a week. He's very active and sociable and after a tearful start, is now loving nursery.

I took redundancy after maternity leave so, apart from doing a bit from home, haven't worked. We've been very financially comfortable as my redundancy was large, but it's running out and we're about to buy a house.

Now, out of the blue, I've been headhunted for the most fabulous well-paid job. I had no intention of going back to work full-time (this is unnegotiable five days a week), but I am sorely tempted to take it. It would take me just 20 minutes to get to work, and they've agreed I can work 9 to 5 instead of 10 to 6 (which is normal in my industry).

If I take it, we will be very comfortable and able to afford private school (as far as I'm concerned a necessity in the part of south London we live in). If I don't take it, we will be a bit skint (though I can attempt to get a bit more work from home) and will need to eventually move to an area where the state schools are better.

I just feel so guilty about my DS going to nursery five days a week. I know we can just about get by without my working. But he wouldn't be able to go to nursery at all, and we wouldn't have much money to do fun things. Does that matter? At least we'd be together? I worship the ground he walks on, but I must say I find it hard thinking of entertaining him all day every day.

It feels like such a life-changing decision. Work full-time. Or be a SAHM? I was also planning on trying for a second this month - and would have to put that off for a few months.

Any advice, similar experiences - would be much appreciated!

OP posts:
Pascha · 10/07/2012 13:38

If it was me in position I would give the job a go and see. Nothing stopping you resigning if it doesn't work out and it would keep your CV up to date for the future. You only regret the things you don't try, after all.

hambalala · 10/07/2012 13:41

What i'd really love to know, is if anyone's gone back to work and hated it - or gone back to work and loved it. thank you!

OP posts:
hambalala · 10/07/2012 13:42

Oh thank you Pascha - that's good advice. You're right - nothing stopping me leaving if I hate it.

OP posts:
cheesesarnie · 10/07/2012 13:45

From how you have described the job I'd go for it. You sound excited and passionate (not in a pervy way).
If it doesnt't work out you can hand in your notice!
You won't know till you try!

hambalala · 10/07/2012 13:49

I do feel excited and passionate about it...and yes, not in a pervy way!

OP posts:
cheesesarnie · 10/07/2012 13:54

Grin do it!

Pascha · 10/07/2012 13:54

Sounds like your son will thrive at nursery full time if he loves it now. Sounds like you will thrive at work. I can't see a reason for you not to try it.

CMOTDibbler · 10/07/2012 13:57

Go for it ! As others have said, if you don't like it you don't have to continue

OneLittleBabyTerror · 10/07/2012 18:33

I would take the job. It's ok to be skint but you really need to think about education. Houses in good school zones are terrifyingly expensive. I would put my LO into private if I can afford it comfortably. Either way you will want a second income. Think about his future. Will his chances in life be more affected if he has to spend 5 days in nursery? Or go to a low achieving school?

It sounds like a dream job tbh. 20min commute, 9-5.

HoleyGhost · 10/07/2012 18:39

Go for it. It is clearly what you want. In a v similar situation, I went back and have never been happier.

hambalala · 10/07/2012 19:25

Thank you all so much for all your sweet and kind advice. I'm going to take it! I think I really want to - just needed a bit of reassurance. Thank you!

OP posts:
Iwillorderthefood · 10/07/2012 19:28

Go for it.

Havering · 11/07/2012 01:00

I also say go for it .... but ...
Talk to your DH before hand about how you will split childcare - days off sick, pick up/drop offs, holidays
What about housework - cleaner, split of chores
Expect to have a few wobbles early on but give yourself time to get over the first days/weeks/months

It's a great opportunity but the more you prepare for the reality of it then it will be so much easier to get stuck in. Good luck!

33kns · 11/07/2012 01:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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