Going back to work as soon as possible?

[JenJen84]

Hello there
I have been afforded the dubious pleasure of not being in work the entire way through my pregnancy, while this has been nice enough I now find myself bored, unfulfilled and also missing the freedom of my own money.
I am looking forward to the prospect of going back to work as soon as possible. Can anyone tell me roughly when this is likely to be 2/3months? And also, regarding nurseries, i am noticing it's really hard to find ones that take younger children - how do I find the ones that will?
I am lucky in the fact I don't need to work in order to keep a roof over my head, or pay the bills but I do need to work for my own mental health, my self esteem and ergo the health and welfare of baby :) people might think I am mad, but a happy mum = a happy baby and that's what Im striving for.
Any help/advice would be gratefully received!!
JJ

If you haven't had the baby yet then I'd suggest waiting and seeing how you feel when you have. The first few months are exhausting and you will need to rest when you can.

Legally, you cannot work for the 2 weeks following your baby's birth. After that it's up to you.

I think most nurseries will take children for six weeks.

Hi AKMD, I don't know how staying at home could be dubbed more restful than being at work :D

Round here the nurseries all start at 3years, which is way too late.

My nursery took babies from 12 weeks

Must be where I am based then as the blurb I have found on almost all is 3-5years.
However my friend is a nanny and knows about these things and said they DO exist (typically not close to me, it would seem!)
It might be that once baby comes, grandparents (retired) will take an active role and want to look after the baby anyway, minimising the amount of time she'd need to be in nursery. But I'm keen to get the ball rolling now anyway, not long til baby is here and want to know what my options are early!

Childminder? Nanny?
I went into a new job when DS was 8 weeks so I get what you are saying, Happy Mum does = Happy Baby

I would second the advice to wait until you've had the baby and the dust has settled before deciding what you want to do. You will certainly not have time to be bored for the first few weeks, and you may find you are one of those people who love being at home with the baby. No harm in looking into the options though. It seems odd the nurseries round you start so late! Have you looked into childminders? They can usually take babies from fairly young I believe.

How do they compare to nursery costs?

Problem is I wouldn't have set days, OH works a shift pattern so we don't have set days to employ someone.
Thanks, I know it's rare to want to go back to work, but I'm a firm believer in strokes for folks and having grown up where my mum worked HARD to look after me (and was often working) it didn't do me any harm, it made me very proud, actually :)

I'd look into local childminders. Much nicer for the baby/child to be in a family environment in a home, and not a sterile nursery IMO. Childminders usually much more flexible too, eg if you have to work late at short notice.

Hi NIML

Unfortunately I will want the money more, I haven't been able to support myself for the past 9 months (or rather I haven't been lucky enough because I've been willing, its just employers treat you as incapacitated when pregnant and wouldn't take me on!) and my self esteem can't take much more!

I haven't been able to contribute to baby, buy clothes for me, cosmetics, have a hobby or meet friends etc.

I can't see, even if I end up being the worlds biggest earth mother, that I'll be able to ignore those feelings much longer.
But thank you :)

I'd always laboured under the conception childminders/nannies etc were extortionate, but I can look into it - but must admit I wouldnt know where to start! Need to pick my friends brain I think!

You won't be so bored when baby has arrived. At 2/3 months, most mums suffer from bad sleep deprivation, and are too tired to be worried about boredoms.

OLBT thanks but if you read about, though my first listed point it's not actually the main point of why I'm going back to work.

I am certainly not judging you for wanting to get back to work, I hope it didn't come across that way! How flexible is your work likely to be? Could you get something that fits around your OH's shift pattern, DH and I both work shifts, and have arranged it so one or other of us is almost always at home. Works brilliantly for us, and I found it easier to leave DS when he was tiny, knowing he was with his Dad!

They are unfortunately never set shifts - so I'd find it nigh on impossible to get them to synch. Sometimes they might though and obviously on those days baby would be at home with Dad.
I'd definitely consider doing shift work though - as have previously - though did wonder if it was better to work mon-fri as at least I KNOW I'll be home Sat/Sun when nursery is closed?

Don't worry I don't mind if people do judge, I know people will. But I'm more concerned about what makes our family happy than anyone else, so it's all good :)

Honestly before DS arrived, I thought I'd be back at work at 6 months.

He arrived and the idea of leaving him seemed alien and madness to me. You do not know how you will feel when baby arrives - being at home and pregnant isn't the same as having a baby and being at home.

Also wait until baby arrives before considering childcare. Again I thought I'd use nursery but when DS arrived, I didn't want my baby in one.

Relax a bit about it and do some funstuff until baby turns up.

Also there was that story in the paper about the top ten regrets of the dying. Not going to work and leaving the kids wasnt one of them.

Thanks Iggly, it's very hard to do fun things when you have no money, sadly.

Sorry money is a hard one. People will judge you no matter what you do. Jus ignore them. Have you visited a nursery? They seem very busy for a baby who aren't on the move yet. DD went in one at 7mo and she's the youngest they have had for a while. Most babies start at 9-12mo. I'd try to find a smaller nursery, or a childminder or nanny if you can. DD nursery is lovely with only 2 staff in the baby room. So it's never too busy in there. A friends went to a very highly regarded one and they have 7 staff in the baby room! It seems like a camp to me when I visited. She said she can't remember the names of all the staff in the room. While my DD is happy with both hers and will raise her hands for hugs for them both.

Good luck!

Have you thought about a direct sales or "party plan" job where you can then pick your hours around OH working patterns?

I do Pampered Chef parties and in the last year have done about 40, so less than 1 a week, but it gets me out of the house (I started when ds was 4 months old) and earns me some money so that I can contribute/buy what I want for the house. Obviously if you wanted to be more active you could do 2/3/4 or more parties a week. Some people have it as their sole income. If you want any more details, let me know.

I went back to work full time when DD was 14 weeks. I didn't have any choice, full maternity pay ran out and we need my salary.

I also wanted to get back to work, but I do have the benefit of having a great support network around me, both at work and at home, and we didn't need to put DD into a nursery. Things would have been different if that was the case, leaving her with her doting GPs is hard enough.

If you can get a nursery you are happy with and have a supportive employer and team at work (I work with several mums who all know the heartache of not being with your baby 24/7) then it is doable. If it helps - I also ebf to 15 months, so you can breastfeed and be a full time working mum if you have the right support.

I returned to work when DD1 was 12 weeks old - Maternity leave then was only 14 weeks and she was 2 weeks late (I worked until the day before she was due) - again no choice as I was the main earner. Same with DD2, and with DS1 it was 6 months.

As others have said, it's do-able, but looking back, I'd much rather have had a year for each. The real problem after 14 weeks is that you are unlikely to be getting a full night's sleep. I was fortunate in that I was in a job I knew well, and my employers knew and respected me, so the fact that my brain felt a bit fuggy wasn't a huge problem. I would have really struggled in a new job, where it's important to make a good first impression and there's usually quite a learning curve to get up to speed. If you can, I'd strongly recommend waiting until 6 months so that you can hit the ground running and make a much better impression.

If you really have to go back after 3 months, then I'd recommend looking at a childminder, or if you can other members of the family. Otherwise part time or freelance if that's an option too.

I took 2 weeks off. If you are a mere employee then the law requires you do not return until the baby is 2 weeks old . If you work in a factory it is 4 weeks.

I was taking business calls the day after the twins were born (but then I'm super woman although if more people copied me they would find life were better) By then I worked for myself and did as I chose.

We had a day nanny and 3 children close together and it can be cheaper than nurseries as you pay one person for the 3 chidlren not 3 nursery places. Worked very well.

Why don't you have money? You said you didn't have to work?

You are maybe midnight up the terminology - nursery is more school age children. Try looking for day-care, or as people have suggested, a childminder. Surely you were on full pay until the set time before edd? Are you not getting any mat pay?

Depends on area maybe? We call day nurseries for very young children nurseries here. They do accept 3mo but most starts at 1 year because of maternity leave lengths. The school age one is called preschool here.