Adapting to 3 day week in demanding role help!

[Boboli]

I started back from mat leave 4 months ago after birth of dd2 who is 1. Dd1 is 2.
Has anyone else had a hard time adjusting to working 3 days in pressured environment?
I negotiated hard for a 3 day week accepting I'd have to give some flexibility to company. I commute to London (1 hour each way). My husband is a teacher and works locally so does childminder pick ups and drop offs. We can't afford for me not to work.
I think my role is doable in 3 days but increasingly I'm feeling pressured to try and adapt to a team who are all full time with few family commitments. Slowly 1 day a week travel is creeping in to Warrington and bham. I just feel like I'm doing an average job just to keep head above water. My appraisal objectives are all around 'going over and above' 'smashing the boundaries' and I wondering how on earth I can begin to fit it in without my children's days suffering.
The funniest thing is we were considering a number 3 but I can't see how that would work at all!!
I like my job, if had choice I would give it up for a bit whilst children so young but I'm beginning to feel resentful about the expectations of me.
Any advice out there? Can't see wood for trees at moment!

Are you saying that you have gone back to work on a reduced number of days, without any reduction in your workload? No wonder you are struggling! Was there any discussion before your return about what areas of your role you would/could drop or could be moved to other people? Unless you were significantly under-worked previously, your work life must be very pressured now.

Do you actually have properly measurable objectives in your appraisal? What on earth does "smashing the boundaries" mean, how is that assessed?

Hi ann thanks for your response. I'm doing a slightly different role than before mat leave. It's a project based so in theory manageable. What is hard to manage is others expectations that I'm not freely available like they are nor can I travel on a whim. I feel quite alone in my situation at work and that I'm in minority when I try and challenge an unreasonable deadline etc.
My objectives are worded better than that but quoted parts to give flavour of what's expected ie even more!!

On a personal level I think you need to be confident that what are doing is the best that you can do. This modern day 'women can have it all' is simply not true. I'm sure there are women out there who have managed close to it but only with a lot of figuring out what's important/what works best.

There is a woman at my work who is middle managment level and has worked for the company for 20+ years, she has two young children and is part time. I say part time, she has two afternoons off a week. She is regarded very highly but she never has time to get all of her job done, when she's off sick (which is rare) she's constantly monitoring her emails from home. She often has to take a day each month to work from home to catch up. Unfortunately she recieves 200+ emails a day and people expect a response NOW because she is the one who holds all the knowledge in her head. She's quite inspirational because whilst she is professional and cares very much she has somehow learnt to let the demands go over her head. She fully admits that she can only do what she can do. I think so some extent we all need to learn to be like this.

My advice would be to discuss with your boss their expectations of you and whether they are realistic. Your company agreed to you doing 3 days a week, if you are working your backside off then they need to reassess whether what they are asking of you is pratical. I would keep a log of all the things you are trying to deal with and identify areas which could be moved or which you shouldn't be dealing with, keep it for a month and then approach your boss. I did a similar exercise when I was in an old job and could see that some of the things I was doing were a waste of my time - the tasks were redistributed.

Perhaps you should also start looking for another job? I'm not saying go on the hunt but you could certainly keep your eyes peeled. You need the money but it is only a job and there are plenty out there despite what some people say.

I don;t want to sound/be negative as everyone and everyone's jobs are different but I tried doing a 5 day a week demanding job in 3 days after the birth of my second child , 5 years ago. I also negotiated hard and wanted it to work.

I decided after a year to go to 4 days instead as I just couldn;t keep up - my 3 working days were non stop and long, just catching up - I also felt stressed on my 2 days "off" as I was thinking about work and not enjoying being with my children. I decided to go to 4 days when I started to feel resentful at having to go to a toddler group when I should have been in a meeting!

I can manage far far better now that I work 4 days , in fact , people often aren't aware I work 4 days which I think must be a sign of my success. I also really enjoy my 5th day off as I can relax and just go with the flo. I am less tired too.

I hope it can work for you as it theory it should be perfect (I think this depends on the job). Maybe try for a year and then re-assess??