I feel bullied at work

[welshmammy2009]

I don't know if I'm been bullied at work or if it's all in my head. My manager is horrible to me. I'm the type of person who wants to go to work, do my job as best as I can and avoid all the bitching that goes on. I feel I get punished because of this.

I've recently moved into another job role and I feel I have no support off my manager. Shes hardly spoken to me since and because of this (I know it childish) I don't speak much to her. I feel like she excludes me from things she laughs and jokes with other staff but talks to me only if really necessary.

When I asked her if I could book a days holiday she snapped at me and said why do I always ask her things when she's busy (I don't) I felt too scared to ask her again after that.

When I make a mistake she has a smile on her face when she pulls me up about it like she's finds it funny telling me.

I don't feel part of the team anymore, my confidence is low as I'm writing this tears are streaming down my face. I don't know what to do.

Poor you No it is not in your head It is them with the problem . Are you feeling isolated ? Feeling shut out?
Are you off this weekend? If so perhaps you could get some supprt from family and friends? Look after yourself first of all. Try to relax a bit and take time for yourself so you can think clearly . Stay in control as they are trying to control you with their antics.
It is not clear from your post if the manager in the first paragraph is the same as the one in the second paragraph. Is it a new manager or what?
Pm me any time you wish if you need to let rip I have been there so I know just how yuck it is but it can be sorted Bullies are usually cowards but I would need to know more and someone else may be along shortly The internet sites Bully on line for example will explain the issues better Keep strong xxx

Thank you x

Yes it is the same manager. I do feel isolated my old job made me feel a part of the team more and this job is more isolated, feel like I don't belong there anymore.

So it is a new job role with the same manager Got you. So this has all flared up since you started the new role? I presume all the colleagues are new however.?xx

Yeah since I started my new job role. I knew my new colleagues a little before I started in this role.

Sorry to ask you all these questions If you are feeling upset just say and I will go away. This is a very difficult time for you You need empowerment at this time and yet they make you feel useless don.t they ? Horrible
Was the move at their or your request and was it a promotion? Is it a large place and have you been there long? Are they all/mostly women?
Remember this : you are not alone These things do happen everywhere yes yes they do ...

Pm'd you :)

I'm not part of the office the clique and it's really worn me down so you have my empathies.

Hi Welsh

I'm going through something similar myself. My issue is that a relatively senior colleague seems to really dislike me and has dripped poison in my bosses ear for the last year. This means my previously good relationship with my boss has been destroyed.

It's all coming to a head soon, I have to sit down with my boss and HR and I'm dreading it.

I know exactly how you feel, it has ruined my confidence in myself and my ability to do my job.

No advice, but loads of sympathy.

Hi, sorry you are going through this. It is not in your head, your manager sounds like a nasty horrible b!tch.
My advice would be to avoid talking to her for non work related things - ie if you need to book leave, email her rather than ask her (and keep the email in your 'sent' folder - so if she dicks you around you have evidence that you applied for leave on XX date). I would also practise a few assertive phrases in the mirror at night for when she does pull you up - ie 'OK what should we do about this?' 'I don't think this is a laughing matter.' (if she laughs). Unfortunately there are managers out there who will attempt to undermine you - I would also clearly note down incidents with specific dates. Is there a manager higher up you can go to for work related issues ?
Good luck.