How the hell do you manage summer holidays??? And in fact, life in general as a working mum!

[RooTwo]

I have recently started (six months ago) my first proper job since my daughter was born 6 years ago. I was freelance for a couple of years and did bits and pieces (maternity cover positions etc) but this is now a permanent position and I am facing my first summer holidays coming up when I will have to work out what to do with two children (6 and 4) for 6 weeks ... How on earth do people manage?

I work 4 days a week so will need to cover those days for 4 weeks as I'll take two weeks off at the end of the summer. There is a nice local holiday club and I can use grandparents a bit etc but it still feels tricky - and I just don't want them to spend all of their holidays in a holiday club. Or am I just being over-sensitive ... I admit I am feeling so daunted by the whole thing that I'm considering giving up my job and going back to being freelance. There are always so many things that you need to be around for when your kids are at school that I keep having to take time off for (concerts, assemblies, sports days, etc etc) that I'm rapidly running out of leave and ideas ... I do love my job but it does just feel far too much sometimes to be juggling all these things. Any advice or thoughts very welcome ...

I'm a long way off from this (DD starting nursery in 4 weeks) so probably not the best person to answer your questions. However I think you have just summed up every working mums life long questions. The ladies who I work with who have school age children and they do exactly what you have described.

Rather than giving up your job and deciding that your children are missing out or you can't manage it all why not try it for the summer, see how you get on and think of it as just this one summer and then if it's too hard then give up work before next summer and go freelance again.

I work 4 days a week (25 hours) and manage it through juggling;

• their dad has them for some (this year nearly half) of the holidays, during this time I work extra hours.
• grandparents (my mum & dad will have them as much as I want, I try to limit it to a couple of days a week at most).
• childminder (who had them as babies/toddlers) will take them if she has space.

You mention a nice holiday club and grandparents being an option, plus you are having 2 weeks of holiday with them. tbh that sounds pretty much sorted to me. Is this solely your problem or is their father involved in the juggling as well?

Our plan is to use a combination of gparents, summer club and DP and I will probably take a week off together so we can have family days out and then a week off each by ourselves with the kids.

• holiday club (school is open most of the holdays offering all sorts of activities)
• one or two weeks with grandparents (first time away from us )
• family holiday for a week or two

We try and give dd's three weeks off and three weeks in childcare, using a mixture of childminder and holiday camp. To be honest I know loads of SAH parents who send their children to camp for a week and then to grandparents for a week, so not too disimilar to what we do with our kids whilst holding down a job. It's a juggling act, but that's what we mums do best!

My kids are 11 and 8 and I just started working as a cleaner for a B&B 4 days a week but as one of the days is a Sat, I just need to sort them out for 3 days.

I've taken the first week off but that still leaves 5 weeks.
Most holiday clubs don't start until 9-10am and I start work at 9am, or they only take children up to 11 and dd will be 12 in July. So I'm stuck with just one in a sports centre that charges £16.50 per child per day which is more than I earn so I'm faced with working for nothing just to keep my job over the hols.

Neither of them wants to go to the holiday club and 5 weeks at that rate would kill me so for 2 weeks I'm hoping a neighbour will keep her eye on them if I leave them at home. That's if she's not working.

We don't have family nearby - they are a 4hr drive away so even if they were to have them both for a week, it'd cost us in petrol to drop them off and collect them afterwards.

Next year both should be old enough to be left at home but this year is going to be a right pain in the arse.

I work 4 days per week, my DC are 7+8.
This summer:
2 weeks family holiday.

1 week I will have them (I will be working 5 days for the next four weeks).
2 weeks summer camp (one at the beginning of the holidays, one in the middle - the DC have chosen their camps, DD will go to her dance school for one week and her gymnastics group for the other, DS will go to the local sports centre where his friend will go too).
1 week: three days with Grandparents, DH will fetch them and have them the rest of the time.

Last summer was similar, except DH took DC on holiday to his parents for an extra week and they only had one week at summer camp. In the past I have sometimes taken unpaid leave, when possible.

plus swap arrangements with their friends (you have mine this day, I'll have yours that day), obviously easier if you are part time, but you could also offer sleepover instead so they get a night off. More time consuming to arrange, but I would happily have the boys friends for a few days in the holidays when I am off with mine anyway.

Mine are 3 (nearly 4), 5 and 9. They will have 2 weeks holiday with me, then 4 weeks in a holiday club :( . However they are particularly looking forward to the holiday club (and the best friends of DS1 and 2 go there). I may be able to get my mum to come and stay for a week (6hr drive so not 'around the corner') instead of one week of holiday club. DH was meant to be taking 2 weeks of annual leave in August, but work have sent him abroad so no can do...

Weeks family holiday
Week holiday with GPs
I work 3 days per week so the rest is either GPs or holiday club. Mine are still yound enough to enjoy spending a day with GPs so not too much of an issue at the moment. Teenage years will be a problem though

Juggling, like everyone else says!

DS started reception in September, so organisation was key.

At the beginning of the year (for me thats Jan-Jan) I calculate my holiday entitlement, and DH's and take off anything thats necessary like Xmas hol period.
Then I take off a couple of days each for emergencies/other.
I take off time for family holidays (our 'big' holiday in the summer is 1 - 2 weeks)
Then I allocate as many days as I can from whats left taking into account DH's busy end of months and my days off ( I work 3.5)
Then I see if I can get any freebies off friends (no grandparents nearby) and see if they will do any day swaps with me. I'm not a big fan of looking after extra children, but I can cope with the odd day a few days a year. This I think will get easier as the kids get older and you know more parents (and the days they work). At the moment I have two friends who would be happy to take my son for a day now and then, and a couple more who would probably do the odd half day swap.

Then I add up how many days paid childcare I'm going to need. Then I think 'sh*t its not cheap is it'. To be fair, one of our local primaries offers a whole day (8-6) for about 20 quid which is very reasonable. I then try to budget by calculating the cost, and putting that amount aside each month so it doesnt kill us finanically over the summer.

My son loves it. Its all play and no lessons!

At the moment its not too bad - I have one in nursery anyway so I dont have to worry too much about him. When he starts school though its going to be really expensive.

presumably it would be cheaper than having him in nursery though?

With child swaps, it gets a lot easier as they get older as they entertain themselves and don't need much intervention. When ds1 (9) has a friend round I barely see them.

With teenagers, they don't need you there in the same way, so it becomes less of an issue.

Thanks all for advice and tips - so yes it is clearly not an insurmountable problem! And I am lucky that we have a lovely holiday club where I think they'd be v happy, plus some grandparental help, and I'm sure I can do some swaps with friends. I think it's also that despite enjoying my job I feel rather in two minds about it and whether to go back to a more flexible way of working - and if I'm going to give up my job I may as well do it before the hols rather than struggle through them and then give up. I find 4 days hard work (I used to do three for a long time) and don't feel like I have enough time with the DCs. Having said that, six weeks with them would probably drive me utterly insane

My DD this summer is having 2 weeks with DH (second week I'm off too and we hope to go somewhere), 2 weeks with grandma and 2 weeks in holiday club. All organised months ago and now the school has announced that they finish on a Thursday and go back on a Tuesday, so I need cover for 2 more days.

Week 1, family holiday
Week 2, DH annual leave
Week 3 holiday club
Week 4 holiday club
Week 5 grandma
Week 6 my annual leave.

It's a flipping logistical nightmare tbh.

I used to spend all my holidays (including Christmas) at some sort of holiday club/camp as my parents both worked full time. At the holiday clubs, most people went only for a few days so I found myself having to make new friends all the time. This was a while ago, though, so maybe more families have both parents working full time now. Other than the lack of proper friendships, I quite liked holiday clubs. My sister's children spend their holidays there and claim to enjoy it, so I wouldn't feel guilty.