Workplace victimisation-had enough-what next?

[Leakingwellies]

Hi, I'm new here and need to offload...

To cut a very long story short I have left work early today after a series of meetings with my line manager (who also happens to be the person that I feel is bellittling/bullying me). I told her that I was making an appt to see my Dr tomorrow and I have got an appt late afternoon. Her very agressive response was along the lines of: so what does that mean, will we see you again? I kept my cool and said obviously until I'd seen the Dr I couldn't say but that the way I was being treated (I went over everything in detail and told her I thought she was victimusing me) was making me ill. The situation has been getting gradually worse over the last 3 months and without going into too much detail I feel that she is forcing me out. I have worked at the company for over 12 years with absolutely no problems and loved my job, until all this started. Anyway I'm hoping that I get signed off with work related stress tomorrow but have no idea what this entails. Any info/support greatly needed/appreciated

Poor you!

Do you have an HR department? Might be best to get them involved if you haven't already.

hi mrsconfused

Thanks for your msg. No we don't have a HR dept, I work for a company that has shrunk in size so there are only 6 of us in the office. Our director is technically senior to her but is scared of rocking the boat and bows down to her every wish. He has phoned me tonight and is full of sympathy but feels he can't get involved?!! (he is very rarely in the office and doesn't see/hear what goes on although he is aware how awful she is).

Does anyone know if my Dr can refuse me a sick note? I have been suffering sleepless nights/dreaming about work, palpitations, feeling sick, generally down and anxious and feel that I just can't go back feeling like this.

They will probably sign you off for 2 weeks (though sometimes this is not enough)They may suggest counselling I would advise getting the support of family/friends. Take the time to have a rest.The idea is to recuperate Treat yourself maybe Do you feel angry at all ?

I do feel angry yes, having been a model employee as these years, totally commited, flexible in my approach, professional etc but it just came to a head today and i thought enough is enough. My fantastic husband couldn't be more supportive as are my close friends. You're right, I need a rest, a break from the toxic atmosphere. Not sure about counselling, makes it feel somehow like I have a problem and I know its not me.

I think anger is a normal reaction. A normal reaction to an abnormal situation. Counselling is : they listen while you get it off your chest. They are paid to listen and you can say what you like as it is confidential. Point is : it may help you keep your cool when you go back Still it is damn annoying when you know it is not you!!

you need to write down what has happened on each occasion so that you have a record should you need to take things any further.
Are you in a Union or could you go to CAB or contact ACAS for further advice?
Also don't agree to any more meetings without taking a union rep or colleague with you, you are allowed to do this. Get them to make notes, it makes the person think carefully about how they treat you!!

That sounds a horrible situation. Getting signed off isn't going to fix anything but should give you some space to consider what you want to do. If tge big boss isn't being very helpfully informally maybe you do need to make this official now via tge grievence procedure.

Start by writing everything down in bullet points. Then you need to go through it all and make sure it is factual rather than emotional iyswim.

I've decided that when I've been to the Drs later I'm going to ring my director and tell him that I want to make a formal complaint against her in writing. I'm so appalled at the way she has behaved and the lies she has told about me. But-will it make any difference? I really doubt it and it could make things a lot worse for me but I'm left wondering why she should be allowed to damage my professional reputation without recourse. Any advice on what to put in the letter would be really helpful, also when they've received it what should I expect to happen? Can I say that I want a formal apology?

Be factual: eg on 15th June 2012 at 9.am X took me into her office and said ABC I replied ABC or
X asked me ABC and I did ABC
Then X showed me a report on ABC
You can say facts like: I was unsure about ABC or I did not understand ABC
so I would like clarification

Could you give me some examples of what she is doing/saying to give you the idea that you are being bullied ? Does she do it to anyone else?

Could it really get any worse?

Oh my goodness i feel for you. I have been in an almost identical situation and it is vile. Can't say what the outcome was as I was watched on here when it was all happening, suffice to say, please just put yourself first and think of your health and your happiness above any of these people, That is the most important thing.

Thank you everyone for your advice/replies/support. I got a note for 2 weeks yesterday and spoke to my director and manager straight after. My director more or less begged me not to make a formal complaint and she was nice as pie on the phone. I've woken up today in a totally different frame of mind and after a good night's sleep I've decided to ask for a meeting next week so everything is brought out into the open. I even feel like I could go back and work next week as she no longer has the power to demean/bully me. I refuse to give her the satisfaction anymore and to be honest I feel empowered. Work from now on will be a means to an end-ie my wages that help pay for our little luxuries.

I've always told my kids not to let bullies get away with it and tell a teacher but when I've told the teacher as it were the teacher has turned a blind eye so I guess I'm left to sort it myself. I'm going to tell them both that I am looking for another job and will leave on my terms-after all as fanjo says-it really couldn't get any worse than it did last week and with that knowledge she's lost her hold over me-boy does that feel good! Just one question can I decide not to hand in my sick note and go in as normal if they agree to it?

If you've told them you have a sick note they might be able to insist on you going b k to gp, guess it depends what it says on it.

I'm glad you feel back in control