Teacher childcare

[cheekypickle]

Im a primary school teacher currently going back to work on a 'therapeutic phased return' which means a few afternoons to start with then building up to a few days, then a full week in the last week of term.

Currently my 10month old daughter goes to the childminder 9-5pm Monday to Friday and will continue to do so in the summer holidays.

I've recently been diagnosed with bi polar. I've been feeling anxious about looking after little one and constantly think I'm a bad mum because she goes to the childminders so much but equally I worry when I do have her.

I'm going back to full time work in september. I'm just hoping work will make me feel better and less anxious. Is there anyone else with bipolar who feels anxious? Am I putting DD into child care too much? I think she has a better time with the childminder

I'm not bipolar but thought I wouldn't leave your post unanswered.

You really, really shouldn't feel guilty about your DD going to her childminder full time. Millions of mothers do this and as long as she is with a good childminder and your daughter has a good relationship with her, then she will thrive. You will still have plenty of time with her and you will be a better mum as you will be less stressed due to having help that you need with childcare.

Concentrate on getting back into work, managing stress to keep you healthier and therefore a better mum in the time that you have with her. Getting back into a normal work routine will probably make you feel more yourself as long as you don't torment yourself with guilt.

NB going to CM over the summer will provide your DD with consistency so she doesn't need to resettle with the CM again in September. Also there's nothing to stop you not sending her for the odd day and spending the day with her instead if you want to. I know you'll still have to pay but you don't HAVE to send her everyday if you don't want to.

I'm a teacher and came to an arrangement with my CM to send my child (and pay for) half a week over the holidays and I did still send him even though I wasn't at work to give me some time to myself as well as get planning etc done.

9-5 is a long day in the holidays. Could you pick her up at 3 instead and have a little more time with her?

If you were doing many many other 9-5 jobs, you would be leaving her from 8-6 except for approx 20 days + bank holidays annual leave and she would still be fine with good childcare.

Just because you happen to have a set summer holiday and send her to CM she will not suffer.

By the way I'm no working mum champion, I am a SAHM mum now but it's clearly evident to me from knowing my friends' children over the years that the overall wellbeing of the family unit is what helps a child develop into a happy, well adjusted person. Not the specific numbers of hours spent in childcare.

It's more important to do what will leave you in the best mental state to be with her when you are with her. Then you can choose what suits you both best.