Need some advice - maternity leave with dotted line into US

[bettybat]

Hi all,

Would appreciate some advice as I can feel myself getting pressured into something I don't necessarily want to do.

I work for a global company, with a manager in the UK and a dotted line into the global director of my area in the US. The US has very different maternity leave to the UK and as such she has different expectations of me. You get 3 months, and there's no - I might want this, I might want that.

My UK manager sticks to the book, hasn't asked yet (I'm 23 weeks). I know I am entitled to a year but realistically I would probably hope for 9 months.

My company - due to being tight arses with budgets - are not finding a maternity leave replacement. I manage a large European region and they are thinking of muddling through using a variety of different people to take on my different tasks (I work in digital comms) to cobble together cover. I know this is not my problem - if they don't want to get cover for me, that should not affect how long I want to take off.

My dotted line US manager yesterday had a conversation with me implying 9 months would be too long. I was very vague, saying I didn't know yet due to seeing how finances pan out, but she made noises about how things can change in 6 months to a year.

She is normally very pro work/life and I have had issues in the past about not being assertive enough - of bending over backwards for them. Part of me wants to find the courage to say - 9 months please, no more no less, see you then! but another part of me thinks - is it so bad to suggest 6 months, with a further 3 months half days from home? Am I doing myself and my baby a disservice to do this - would I look back and think, I should have taken the time? Or is it a good idea to ease back into say 8-12 days, from home?

I plan to breastfeed for as long as a year, I don't wish to make my life harder by agreeing to this but that conversation felt very manipulative. She is normally so good so I think she is feeling torn between not putting pressure on me, but also knowing how many projects she has to complete and no budget to replace me.

Is it OK to stubbornly, brazenly say - this is what I want? I am beginning to feel pressured and I do think it's their problem. But I am not good at brazening things out when it comes to work, even if I am simply asserting my rights :(

Almost three years ago I could have written your post. Also worked at the time for UK/US with different expectations.
I originally planned for 9 months. Then was told if I did 6 months I could work at home 2 days a week and keep baby with me , they wouldn't mind.
Felt pressured and agreed. Lo and behold I was taken for lunch two months into giving birth and told "we miss you , there is no cover, can you help with xxxxx"
I remember sitting with a howling baby , laptop on my knee desperately trying to locate a document when she was about three months old.
I wasn't allowed my two days at home when I went back and ended up having to see the doctor due to stress.
My advice is, if you want 9 months, stick to 9 months. You can always shorten it nearer the time if it's right for you.
Good luck!

Yes. You have rights, you are employed under UK, she will have to lump it. Dont be drawn on what you intend to do. Can you refer her on to your UK manager if she's being tricky. I doubt you will only want to take six months, nine months is more reasonable,

Be proactive and helpful about helping them find solutions for your cover people. Ie workplans for them.

I used to work for a UK company who had offices in the states and had a good working relationship with my US colleagues and the culture is completely different. Americans are very hard working in a different way to us and they get much less in the way of time off. Can I just clarify what type of contract you are on, a UK or US? I presume you're on a UK contract in which case whilst you should take on board your US bosses comments you have every right to take maternity leave as a UK employee.

However be aware that your US boss will be clued up to UK maternity rights. What I am saying is that if you are off for longer than 6 months you are not entitled to the same job when you return (if the needs of the business change), you are however entitled to the same terms and conditions and same type of job. If you return before 6 months then you are entiled to your same job. It seems clear to me from what you have said that 1) they are not recruiting cover for you and 2) to quote your US boss "things can change from 6 months to a year", i.e. she is aware that you are not entitled to the same job if you wait until after 6 months. I am talking from experience as I am taking 9 months off (return in 5 weeks) and my company have not held my job for me. I would imagine that if you return to work before 6 months they will be more flexible with any requests you have, after all your US boss must know that she's not going to get you back after 3 months and must compromise. However if you wait as long as 9 don't be suprised if your job is not there to go back to. If you read through the posts under 'going back to work' you will see plenty of women who are in this postion and are trying to negotiate a new job/hours.

Have a think about what you want long term. When you return to work do you want to be part time? Will you want a change of hours? Have a think about what's important to you. I know if it were me I would be going back at 6 months (but perhaps that's because I'm worn out after my return to work experience) and I would be negotiating what terms I wanted. However like Kenn says it doesn't always work out like you think it will.

Hi all - thanks for your responses.

I need to find out what my rights are, as I was under the impression they have to hold your role for a year? It is a UK contract managing digital comms across Europe, with a dotted line into the Global director of digital comms based in the US.

When I go back, I plan to go back full time but request working from home 4 days a week - the compromise being coming in the day my manager likes to meet with us all. I basically work remotely - I don't work with anyone in London, and although I am based in the London office, all my work, meetings, calls and projects are done remotely. I already do two days informally from home and there are several people on the team I dot line into who work from home full time. My reasons for working from home are that after nursery fees, not paying the commute money would make a huge difference. My husband is self employed so it is impossible to manage monthly what his money will be.

I am torn between saying - I want 9 months but I am letting you know early so we can train people up, have them shadow me etc, thereby showing I appreciate the difficulties and I am showing willing. Or thinking of the long game of - if I want the 4 days a week from home, working for 3 months part time from home adds weight to that?

But I also think - this company has more than taken it's pound of flesh from me, bullied me, and put immense pressure on me. Why should I not assert my rights - once I figure out what they are! And would 4 hours a day/five days a week really be that? People in this place don't give a shit when I am facing crazy deadlines and always insist on adding more work on - would that really change agreeing to the part time for 3 months? Would I be able to say - it's lunchtime, I'm clocking off, speak to you tomorrow?

Oh sorry forgot to say - after six months, can they really change your job? My main concern would be the salary - can they change that if you don't come back for longer than 6 months?

Hi OP

If you look on direct.gov.uk for maternity it will tell you the legal position.

IIRC, they have to keep your job open for six months but after six months if it is not practical for them to keep your specific job open then they can offer you an alternative job with similar terms and conditions and of similar status ie I think it would need to be the same salary. Do check the exact wording though.

I think your company by default assumes you take 12 months off and you give them 8 weeks notice of any change to this return date. I didn't think they were allowed to ask you at this stage but I may be wrong! Of c

The four days per week from home is separate and you would need to put in a flexible working request for this.

Pretty sure they after 6 months your employer can offer you a different role but only if your existing role has disappeared due to restructuring etc. And any new role offered has to have same salary and seniority as existing role

www.direct.gov.uk/en/parents/moneyandworkentitlements/workandfamilies/pregnancyandmaternityrights/dg_065153

Personally I would tell them you plan to take the full 12 months. Then you can contact them to give them notice if you want to come back earlier. You just don't kbow how you're going to feel.

Then maybe after about 4/5 months if you feel up to it, arrange a meeting to discuss returnng to work on a part time basis and you can use early returning as a bargaining tool. This gives time for discussion before the early return notice is required.

I also think 4 day weeks mean that you end up doing 5 days of work for 80% of salary. I would either go for 3 days of 5 days with 1 day working from home

(Dislclaimer: I am currently negotiating my return to work and this is what I'm doing, but I can't say whether its worked yet as I haven't gone back to work yet!)

Xpost!

Sorry I meant full time - 1 day in the office, 4 from home.

God I had no idea, I was so naive about my rights.

This page tells you what you need to know. They cannot refuse you your return to work, and would have to have very sound reasons for not giving you your old job back if it still exists (ie they can't just replace you and then say your old job isn't there any more, but if the role genuinely does cease to exist then they would have to offer you the same status, terms and conditions as your old job, though the role may be different.

Your employer should not be putting pressure on you right now to tell them how long you need to take off - as the link above says, they should assume you are going to be off for 52 weeks until you tell them different, and you don't have to tell them when that is going to be until 8 weeks beforehand. Many people have different feelings about mat leave, and these feelings can change as mat leave goes on. Some people think they would like to take a year off but are climbing the walls looking for escape when the baby is 3 months old. Others think they'll be back at work straight away and surprise themselves when they want to take the whole year.

As for breastfeeding - if you return within a year and are still BFing, your employer has to carry out a health and safety risk assessment on your job, and employers are strongly encouraged to provide you with a suitable place for BFing or expressing.

Your employer may have a US presence, but you are a UK employee, and as such the UK law applies to you.

Sorry, I misread your post re 4/5 days, reading too quickly!

Before I had my first child I totally over-committed from the minute I announced my pregnancy. I reassured everyone, my bosses, my team, my clients, that normal service would resume within four months. They could "call me" whenever they wanted, I would answer emails etc. Big client meeting? Yes, I'm sure I could pop in and show my face for an hour.. I was such an idiot.

I put myself under enormous pressure. Right from the day my child was born, I was counting the days until I went back to work. It ruined my maternity leave. They were very good to me financially, but it just wasn't worth it.

My advice would be to not make any decisions now, which you legally don't have to. I know women who have been desperate to return to work and regain their old lives and pay cheques and women who have been desperate to stay off longer than they initially planned. Remind them frequently that you can take off 12 months and keep the dialogue open with them after you have taken some time to get used to being a mum - say after 3 months. After 3 months you will be in more of a position to make a decision like that but in the meantime they will have to accept that you just might take the whole 12 months, as is your right.