Bastard workplace refused my requests for flexible working after maternity leave

[OovoofWelcome]

I'm really upset and need to rant. If anyone has any advice or words of encouragement they would be so appreciated

I have a 9 mo DS and am due to return to work when he is nearly 1 yo.

Firstly I asked to work from home two days out of five. This was declined because my role was deemed too senior and I have to be in for meetings etc. Although I live very near my workplace and had assured them I would be available.

I really don't think their reasons for declining are valid. Most of my work is quietly creating stuff on a computer. Easily done at home and meetings could be popped-in for. And - I only asked for two days from home.

They also offered me a demotion and a part-time week of three days. We simply couldn't afford this so I asked if I could do four days under these circumstances.

Again, refused.

I feel utterly distraught. I don't want to go back full-time but it seems I have no option.

Also, if I don't return for at least 6 months, I have to pay back my maternity leave in full. So looking for a more suitable job is scuppered.

I hate this company. It's so male dominated and I feel as if they see pregnant employees and employees with small children as nothing more than an inconvenience.

BASTARDS!

I just want to ball up and cry but don't want to ruin DS's day

Help

mine did too.
What we ended up agreeing was a trial with me working from home one day a week and very slightly reduced hours in the office on the understanding that the blackberry stays on / any calls to teh US can be done from home after kids' bedtime. They were extremely reluctant to do so, & i work in a very male dominated business. It was an unpleasant experience.
HOWEVER - the good news is that the trial was a success. you have to let them know you have childcare the days you're working from home (you will, won't you? because if not, their refusal is perfectly reasonable and fair to other e'ees). Go back from leave and ace it - show them that you are in fact far better than they remember you being and that any flexi working doesn't impact the business. I think that the time you return from your first maternity leave is very much the time to go and do your best work ever. Your DH should be on standby to pick up the slack for a month or two (no excuses), and you go in and SHINE>
do you manage a big team? that is probably the hardest objection to get round because they're effectively saying that it's not you, it's the rest of the team they're concerned about performance in if you aren't there - and i think that's probably a valid business reason. Good luck - keep at it.

so sorry - they sound horrible. And are clearly "testing" you - and possibly hoping you will take a pay cut.

Could you look for another job while you are working your 6 months? Full time for 6 months really won't be that bad (having done it). Do you have any holidays left from maternity leave so that you could work , say, 9 days out of 10. And you are probably entitled to take unpaid leave for family time anyway.

I suggest go back, look for another job and then leave them in the lurch!

bobbi yes childcare is completely covered and I told them that - DS has three days of family care (we're very lucky in that, and grateful) and I was asking to work from home for two of those days. So I could see him in breaks and at lunch.

I did suggest a trial period but it obviously didn't make any difference to them. Thanks for your positivity though .

Oh and thanks to the recession I no longer have anyone to manage!!

onemorebite thanks, I think I will leave the bastards in the lurch as soon as I can!

Certainly sounds to me like if you no longer have anyone to manage then they are trying to get you to take a pay cut. If I were in your shoes I would go back for 6 months work my socks off and then leave for another job!

One thing I can say from reading the 'back to work' thread on mumsnet is that it seems to me that about 80% don't get what they want one way or another. So many people don't want to go back to work but have to. I have to go back to work in 5 weeks (9 months off) and don't want to and I have to go back full time (financially). I'm also not going back into my old job and my company have totally screwed me over. I have to stay for 3 months to keep my maternity pay and so I could look for a new job in October but then it's likely that I won't get the time off at Christmas that I desperately want to spend with DD. IT SUCKS!!!!!!! I want to be at SAHM but can't be or at least I want to work 4 days a week but I can't afford it. So I guess we're kind of in the same boat. I keep thinking to myself that at least I will change less nappies and clear up less food at meal times and drink more cups of tea because that's literally the only way I can get through it! Sorry I don't mean to hyjack your post, I just don't want you to feel alone, you're not. All us mums are in it together and we will do what we have to do for our kiddies and one day it'll all sort itself out...I hope!

What reasons did you give for wanting to work from home and the benefits for them? If you live very close as you say then theres no reason really not to be in the office.

Flexible working is very easy to just see what you want rather than the whole picture.

Why would you want to work from home where your child is being looked after? And seeing him for breaks & lunch? It just doesn't work
If your work is close by then I'd show willing & go into the office

I agree with happymummy.
I can't see the reasoning behind working from home if you have a short commute. if you were willing to do 3 + 2athome, then why is a full week not ok?

Link to direct.gov

This link might be worth looking at, if only to make sure that your employer has followed the law properly. You have a right to appeal and your request must be properly considered.

I agree they are being mean, but I'm with HappyMummy and Gumby that given other things you have said you'd be better off going in to the office on 5 days. If you are that close, you can pop home for lunch and that will be easier. I work from home some of the week but this makes a huge difference to me because I'm an hour's commute from my work place. I don't think I'd bother if it was a question of "popping" from one place to the other.

As an alternative suggestion to them, why not try asking for a full-time but flexi-hours system with core hours covering slots every morning and afternoon when you are definitely always in the office, but permission to work some long days and some short. Then on the days you were originally hoping to be working from home, you can be at home for a bit longer in the morning getting the day started off, and try and be home early too in the evening - balanced by longer days elsewhere in the week.

The thing with popping home for lunch is that it's bound to coincide with the lunchtime nap
Mine used to sleep from noon for a couple of hours
Probably just when your relative is putting their feet up ! And youll feel compelled to tidy up !

Gumby That's true but the same issues would also be stopping effective working-from-home in the original plan.

Usually when I work from home, DS is in his lovely nursery just around the corner and I can actually get good quantities of work done - possibly more productive than in the office as there are fewer sessions of office gossip & chitchat.

On the much rarer occasions when I've been trying to work from home while DH or my mum look after DS in the house, I am about half as effective - I keep having to stop work to translate that that inaritculate gobledegook he keeps repeating means that he wants his farm animals play set out please, or to help pin arms and legs down for an unwilling but necessary nappy change, or coming to kiss a bump better, or demonstrating where the baked beans are kept, or any one of a dozen other things. And then just when he goes to sleep and the house is quiet and I could start concentrating on work, I'm supposed to stop and have lunch and a natter instead.

Sorry OP - as I said I do think your employees are indeed being bastards for not letting you make your own mind up. But speaking from my own experience I do also think that you might be able to identify a different family-friendly work pattern that they could accept. Are any other employees of your level of seniority wrking in any kind of family-friendly agreement? It's a lot easier to get something agreed if it is modelled on something they have already seen working in practice.

Thanks everyone for all the various thoughts

I am in EXACTLY the same situation. My son is 9 months and I am due to go back to work when he is one. Today my application to work 2 days a week got refused. I have three children and after each maternity leave I always decrease my hours to 16 hours/week then after a few months I increase it slowly to go back to my normal pattern of 28 hours/week.
I am absolutely pjssed off today. They have been making people redundant so by forcing me this way they can get me to leave without paying any redundacy!

Agree with the posters suggesting a flexible working pattern might work better- perhaps incorporating compressed hours.
I really feel for you, I was bereft at leaving my son at nursery to return to work initially 3 days a week, now 4. But actually with hindsight, for me, i think I'd have prefered flexible working with core hours as it gives you many options for your working day. And sooner finish to see baby, or a longer lunch or a whatever.
I have to say from from an employer pov what's in it for them, I also think there's an intrinsic suspicion of working from home in that is she caring for her child at home? I know you're not planning this, but people do do it - my female friend found out a woman in her team was doing it when the toddler answered the phone! So if you see it from their side, and suggest things which are more transparent, such as flexible working, compressed hours, 9 day fortnight etc, you just never know... And suggest a trial so you can prove its not going to affect business.

I have just this week had my flexible working request approved after going to appeal as it was initially refused. I had to compromise a little but it has actually worked out much better for me in the end. So there is hope yet!

I got some great advice from workingfamilies.org.uk and Babylaw offer 30 mins free consultation and no win no fee on some cases if it gets that far.
At my appeal meeting I took a colleague who was involved in equality and diversity as I'm not in a union and I made sure they knew I had taken external advice. In my appeal letter I addressed every concern they had and offered solutions so they would find it very difficult to find s valid business reason to decline further. I talked through all the issues with a lovely lady on the workingfamiles helpline which really helped.
I would definitely take it to appeal especially if you can find someone in a similar role who has flexible or part time hours. Good luck!

Just wanted to offer my sympathy as I know how devastating this kind of news is. When you're professional enough to know what the right balance between home and work life is to make both work, then a bunch of pricks who cannot possibly begin to understand the difficulty of balancing a young family and career tell you you have to just man up and go back full time with no concessions, it's very hard. You're not the only one who has had to endure this kind of power struggle - it's very common and it will continue to be while the flexible working rules are so weak.

There are a few really great articles about flexible working on the MyFamilyClub.co.uk website that might be of some help to you :-))

I got my 4 days when my company was privately owned. The company was then bought by a so-called people friendly PLC when I was pregnant with no. 2. I have a fairly senior role with quite a few direct reports and it's client facing. The new boss hates the fact that I have a day 'off' and that I leave at 5 pm, although its ok for me to work at home if it's in the evenings / weekends / day off, but not other times. He also said that my career will never go anywhere whilst I work the hours that I do. I got very worked up about it at one point but at the end of the day, it sort of suits now and from a business point of view, working 4 days in my role isn't ideal if I'm honest.
Incidentally I have since had 2 administrators request flexible working which I have agreed to. Not sure that I would have done so readily if I had not been through it myself.
I agree with the others. Go back and prove yourself. If things are that bad commercially within the organisation then in a few months they may revisit your 4 days request once they realise that they will get exactly the same amount of work done for 80% of the cost.

I feel your pain - I didn't get what I wanted either. I wanted compressed hours over 4 days. Apparently that wasn't possible - but they were happy for me to take a pay cut and reduce my hours to 4 days, knowing full well that there would be no way I could manage projects and my team in a four day week unless I work really long hours.

Needless to say, I'm now working strictly 9am to 5pm, Monday to Thursday and enjoying my four day week while I look for another job. My penalty period (not paying back additional mat pay) is 12months so landing a new job some time around September (3 months notice) would be great thanks [sends wishes to job fairy].....

Thank you everybody for your sympathy and advice. When I wrote my original post I had just found out and I was absolutely heartbroken. I had no idea, when I was pregnant, that I would feel so strongly about returning to work - I guess it's impossible to truly predict that intensity of feeling until you're inside it.

However I've been busy over the past month or so - I now have a new job where I CAN work from home for half of the week! I feel so fortunate. My original company have been amazing in that they aren't asking for the maternity pay back. I'm really, really grateful that things have worked out as they have.

Thanks again everyone. Mumsnet rules

Congrats Oovoof, that's brilliant news.
I know a bit about this and your situation did sound very strange. For the benefit of anyone else who reads this thread, if your request is refused, your employer needs to have a very good business reason for this and it needs to be explained to you.
If they do not, you can appeal against the decision as clearly some already have. All this comes under the Equality Act 2010 and can be construed as sexual discrimination because you've given birth > ergo you are a woman.