Talking in front of large groups

[morleylass]

I'm feeling a bit fed up, I'm good at my job and have been taking on more and more and performing well. With doing this however I am having more situations when I have to talk in front of groups of people. Problem is I had a bad experience a few months ago when I was put on the spot, froze and physically could not speak...why I don't know.

Since then this is becoming a real phobia, rationally I know I shouldn't worry but I don't seem to be able to stop it.
This will hold me back I know. I should just deal with it however part of me just wants to run away and get a job where I won't have to do this, stupid I know! I work as a developer in IT, 99% of the time I don't need to do this sort of stuff but to get a really good review you have to demonstrate these skills even if you excel at every other aspect of your job, which is frustrating.

Anyone conquered or experienced this?

MLx

Hi Morley, I haven't had you exact experience, but I am certainly no natural when speaking to large (or small ) groups.

Despite that I did a job for many years that required me to do do just that. I always had to make sure I was really well prepared (meaning that being put on the spot shouldn't happen) I felt that if I was properly prepared I could face anything, but nothing at all if I wasn't prepared.

I does get easier with practise, but it never came naturally to me. I also did a couple of presentation skills courses which helped.

I too dislike speaking in front of groups of people. Fortunately I haven't had a bad experience yet, but I'm so nervous the night before that I can't sleep and send all day before the presentation popping to the loo.

I have just joined a public speaking group called Toastmasters. the group teaches you how to build confidence in public speaking in a safe, friendly environment. They have cells all over the place, so maybe you could find out if there's one near you. I haven't done my first speech yet but am working on it for early July , but I've attended a couple of meetings and it's good fun and I think will be really helpful in building confidence and helping ope with nerves etc.

Their website is: www.toastmasters.org/

Ok so you need to do this to tick tge boxes on your appraisal, how about just coming clean to your boss. Say this is something I struggle with, it can be your development area, and you need a plan of action. How about a course, starting small and building up?

Poor you! I hate public speaking too and unfortunately do choose jobs where i don't have to do it so Im not much help

Thanks everyone. I did think about toastmasters but was worried that it would be full of super slick speakers which would really put me off, I'll find out if there is one local.
Ohno, I have chatted with my boss last one to one and she was sympathetic and wants to help me, but I'm just worried I'll have a repeat performance. I do need to start making small steps though so will see what we can put in place to develop the skill.
It's good to know others feel the same but are dealing with it successfully. I appreciate your responses!

John Dawson runs a great course www.speaking-infront.co.uk/john-dawson/ that I attended.

Its different from other speaking courses and not very expensive. There were lots of people on my course who were similar to you.

I'm the same.
By the time the hideous 'round robin' gets to me I can hardly remember my name. I'd be ok if I went first I think, it's the time to get nervous that gets me.
I'm ok if I know whatvim talking about, but even then I start to think that what I've got to say isn't important and clam up.

I'd like to do a course too

The thing i find difficult is being put on the spot. If i chose to speak in a group i am fine but if i am not expecting it and someone else draws everyone else's attention to me i panic and blush. Once i blush i feel even more self conscious.

I know that is different to giving a speech but that is something i avoid altogether!

Aunt Maggie - can you give anymore details about the John Dawson course? Is it useful enough to help with an upcoming situation, or does he teach you things that then need practice?

Hi Morley I have had your exact same experience. About 5 years ago, I gave a presentation to the rest of my department (c40 people) and crumbled in front of everyone - completely humiliating.
From then on, whenever speaking to groups, I get into panic mode when I start speaking and have had to really work at this as it's an essential part of my job. I've been on courses, tried hypnotherapy, read up on NLP - you name it!
My advice to you would be (try) not to turn this into a big issue for you as you'll make yourself worse (easier said than done I know). Find opportunities to put yourself in front of a group in a safe environment (maybe non work). Do other things that will boost your self confidence - eg taking on a role of responsibility in something else (again low risk, safe).
If all else fails, visit your doctor. There are things that can be prescribed to be taken once in a while about 30-45 mins before 'showtime' which will calm you. good luck - and don't give up - you will beat it!