Return to work not going so well....

[hypermum1]

So, its day 2 of my return to work having worked school hours with holidays off for the last 2 years. Both children (7and 9) are going to an afterschool club. When we went for a trial, both loved it and begged me to sign them up.

However, when I picked them up yesterday, both were very subdued and the youngest flatly refused to go back today, tears, tantrums the lot. When I took him to school I went in to see his teacher to tell her what s going on and I lost the plot too and burst in to tears! What am I doing this for? I dont have to. I can continue to work with my other half in our family business doing part time school hours. Why am I putting everyone through this???? Advice needed.....

O.k. well, it is beyond my comprehension why you would have changed to this new role, but why don't YOU tell us, why you wanted to. Then we can persaude you that you have done the right thing.
You are probably tired and nervous = why you sobbed. Everyone is, wehn they start a new job.
Your children, it might have finally dawned on them that this is permanent, rather than just a once off, when the visited the school club before. It will take time for them to settle. try not to worry.
What exactly was the pronblem with the after school club. Find out exactly what it was that they didn't like.

Plus, finally, lets get perspective on this. whats the worst that can happen? You hate the new job and the kids are so unhappy, that you quit? and go back to the family business. No harm done. so thats fine. Not all bad then. remember that, because its easy to lose perspective.

I agree totally. There must have been some perfectly legitimate reasons why you wanted to change your work life. If overall its a better deal for you and the family then you shouldn't feel guilty. Your children will soon get used to the new arrangement. It's totally normal for new situations to need a bit of settling in time. You're only on day 2! I'm sure if every mum whose child was unsettled in childcare during the first few days reacted by feeling they must be doing the wrong thing, nurseries ans childminders would be empty.

Remember the reasons why you wanted to change things. And don't feel that just because you could manage financially doing school hours, doesn't mean you should ignore all the other positive reasons for working. If this new job is stretching you more intellectually, or is a better long term bet, then those are perfectly good reasons.

The reasons I went back in the first place were financial, yes we can manage now but savings are dwindling and debts are starting to climb. Like I say, we manage but there is not a lot of wriggle room. Long term prospects I guess are better as I get a pension, health insurance, etc etc. And yes it does stretch me as a lot of the time when working in family business there was not a lot for me to do and I felt like a bit of a parasite drawing money out for a salary when I was not doing an awful lot. But it just feels like a big price to pay. Having to ask to get time off for assemblies and dentist appointments, guess it will just take some getting used to........

You need to give it at least 2-3 months before making a call either way to change. I do a lot of work with mothers returning to work (in different forms) as part of my role at work. It is well recognised that there is a period of adjustment for everyone and IME, at least 3 months is needed to see if it is right or wrong. Thats the experience in my line of work at least im sure the work is differnent but adjustment is the same.

The kids will get used to it and will have fun at the club. But they do need to get used to it - give it chance