Considering handing in my notice

[mumofjust1]

I work part time as an administrator in an office about 15 minutes from home. I have been there for 3 years and 9 months.

I hate my job. I dread going in every morning. I spend all weekend dreading going back on a Monday.

There are 2 other ladies in the administrative team, one of whom I get on really well with, the other not so much but she's ok.

When I first started I loved it. But in the last year and a half things have changed there. We are expected to go on mandatory training days etc that we didn't have to do when I started.

I don't feel like I'm important - working part time, I miss out on things wok related - and I don't feel like I'm part of the "team".

I suffer with anxiety and panic attacks quite badly and find it very difficult to get to these training days. I have one coming up soon which I am already dreading and getting anxious over.

I know that sounds stupid, but that's the way it is. I am having CBT for the anxiety and panic attacks.

I'm kind of wondering, what is the point? I hate being there.

I'd like to do a job that isn't office based, something where I can be out and about. Would love to work with the elderly.

So my dilemma is - do I say sod it, hand in my notice and have to look for something I'd enjoy more, or stay there, unhappy, and just think about what I'd rather be doing, without doing anything to actively make it happen?

I read the following the other day and it seemed to strike a chord with me...
Sometimes walking away has nothing to do weakness and everything to do with strength. We walk away not because we want others to realise our worth and value but because we finally realise our own....
If you are really unhappy and can afford not to stay there, leave and find something that interests and excites you so work will be a part of who you are,not a noose around your neck. Good Luck :-)

How about looking for something whilst you're still employed? It may look better to an prospective employer. It could take a little of the current stress off you having this 'little secret'n at work.

As Spicynicy said if it's really getting to the point of tears then perhaps it's best you do leave. No job is worth your mental health.

Good luck

what is it about the training days that bothers you?

Yes, I think your attitude to the training days is poisoning your feelings about your workplace. I'm not trying to diminish your anxiety but wonder if there are ways you can alleviate it. If for example it's about going to somewhere you're not familiar with, you could maybe work at that aspect of it beforehand?

If you don't feel like part of the team because you're p-t, can you think of specific examples of why that is? Do they hold team meetings when you're not there, for example, or are decisions made in your absence that affect you? It may simply be thoughtlessness than can be rectified.

You certainly shouldn't stay put and be unhappy. I think your choices are to see if you can improve the aspects of your job you don't like, or to look for something more suited to you. I would recommend you consider the impact of the anxiety, though - this may be more manageable in a more familiar environment.

Life is too short to be doing a job you hate! i was in a job i hated just like you, dreaded going and had panic attacks,its really scary having to get out there and find something else but when i did i felt like a new person! so go for it i say and do something you love! good luck

Try to get another job before leaving It is easier to look when you already have something. I have a friend like you who moved to the elderly care business and enjoys moving about But you do need a car as these days asMOST of it entails caring for them at home-certainly that is where the growth seems to be My friend says the negative is she has to dash from one area in town to another in the opposite end and thern possibly back again which seems a pain,also it is a long day They mostly want you there in the early morning then again in the evening often till 10pm so when she started she was often yawning and tired, A hard life `

If you want to work with the elderly you will probably have to go on a lot of these training days initially. You may get worked up about them and let it put you off again. Can you speak to your hr dept about your issues? They may be able to help?

Training days you may have to attend in new job-
Customer care
First aid
Personal safety
Mental heatlh
Outcome star

Hth

Hi mumofjust1

I am in exactly the same position as you and really feel for you. I am currently looking for something else - financially I can't just leave, which is making me hate it more and feel more trapped. I did actually try to quit, but I was given some time off instead to think about it. I've only been in the job since the back end of last year, but it's killing me. I feel I have no time to myself, I'm either working (including working in the evenings and weekends because I have so much to do) and if I'm not working I'm worrying and thinking about it. It's effecting my relationship with my husband and I'm much less patient with my little one. I'm giving myself a deadline and if it doesn't get better in a month then I'm going to leave regardless. That makes me feel better in one sense, but it will bring with it other anxieties about money, but at least it gives us some time to try to plan.

I'm also trying for another baby and EVERYONE tells me it won't happen if I'm stressed, and what's more important?

Keep in touch and let me know what you decide. it's nice to know I'm not the only one!
xx