How long does settling in take?

[Desperate2012]

Hi,

DS 10.3 mos is just settling in to nursery - in theory. In reality after 3 days of increasing duration he on-and-off cries for me the whole time. This is not what I expected as he is used to going to a crèche and staying at friends for up to two hours without me, and no tears etc. Even if tired.
With me he takes one post- lunch nap but I think the busyness of the nursery means he will need 2 shorter naps (at least for now) but as it's busy he can't really get them.

Does anyone else have any advice or positive stories? Please no advice like "don't go back to work" as not an option, and I'd rather not change nursery (or to a childminder) without giving the nursery some time to work with him. Thanks.

Ps- I think there's some errant text as the bottom of this. Sorry, written with the app and I can't scroll!!!

Hi
It really depends - some children take a long time to settle. Do you mean he is crying a lot for you when he is at nursery or at drop- offs? What is the nursery like? You mentioned it's busy - maybe he isn't suited to it. They should have a quite area for nap time - especially for the babies. How are the staff helping him settle?
My ds cried every morning for months - but stopped as soon as I left... Just long enough to make me feel guilty

DS took about 2 mins to settle.
Friend's DS took several months, at the same nursery on the same days.
And lots of variations in between, but I have never come across a child that cries for more than a few minutes at drop off. On occassion I'd bob back in with something I'd forgotten or picked DS up in the middle of the day and there were never any babies crying.

i know how distressing it is and if i had a a pound for every time i seen an upset parent i would be a millionaire....but seriously it is only early days...perservere he will soon settle in...maybe once he moves rooms when walking he may find more activities that will distract him .....sending you loads of hugs and

...forgets to engage brain

DS started nursery at 11 months old for two days a week. He cried every time I dropped him off for about 6 weeks. He literally had to be peeled off me like a baby monkey, it was heartbreaking. He's now been going for 3 months and absolutely loves it. Yesterday we had to pop back to nursery as we'd left something there and I thought he might get upset (he'd just had his jabs) and his arms went straight out to the lady that answered the door. It's so hard but it does get easier. He used to get upset when I picked him up too but that's stopped now and I just get a big smile. I really think he loves it now. I found waiting outside the room till he stopped crying (where he couldn't see me) eased my mind because I then went to work knowing he was ok, otherwise I worried all day. At the time it was awful but 12 weeks later we seem to be out the other side.

Thanks guys. To clarify, he cries THE WHOLE TIME! Given he never cried with friends and rarely cried in crèche I'm surprised. Any tips for settling him in? I'm a "good" mum I think, I try to leave the staff to it and sneak away, but I'd love to make it easier on him.

desperate take him over to an activity...but to be fair it should be the nursery staff who should be doing this, dont sneak away just say byebye when he is in a memeber of staffs arms....it is gonna break your heart but he will soon settle in....and who thinks your not a good mum ...you are...you are giving your baby a diverse childhood x

Perhaps sneaking away is confusing him. He needs to learn that you sometimes go away, but you always come back. I think maybe a brief 'bye bye, see you later' and then leave (without going back) would be better?