Help...just started new job, feeling like I have done the wrong thing...

[MtnBikeChick]

I have a 2 year old and am in the first few weeks of a new (FT) job, having left my 4 day a week job very recently (that job involved very unpredictable, long hours - regular 15 hour days). The new company is amazing, the work is fascinating, the people are great, and the work is definitely more predictable. However, I have already started to feel guilty about leaving the office to get home to relieve my nanny. I have to leave by 6:15pm (and am in at 9am). I mentioned this during my recruitment process and it was not going to be a problem. Most people in my team leave between 5 and 6pm, but my 'counterpart' - i.e. the (unmarried and childless) lady who is the same grade as me and whose workload I am going to split, works much later than that. I know I can't be as busy as her yet as I am still settling in, but she is in the office later than me every night, sometimes until 10pm. I am worried that she is going to resent me and that she will end up with more work than me because of the fact that I leave the office at a set time each day. The thing is, I focus on my work all day and believe that it is possible to do our job in a 9-6 working day, but I think she is in the habit of working late. Part of me feels it is her choice, and this was not billed as a long-hours job (I took a salary cut of about 10k for this job) so I should just hold my head high and get on with it. But then part of me feels bad and like I am not the person they need. To top it off I raced home tonight to see my son, but the nanny had put him to bed as he was so tired, and then she told me he was asking for me. I am worried I have made the wrong decision by him, as I will only see him for about 30-45mins each day, and on weekends. I don't know what to do and am feeling so sad about a new job I should be happy about.

Why don't you get to know your counterpart - take her out for lunch, then confront the perceived issue straight on. Discuss the fact you can't work extra hours but you want to make sure that the workload is split fairly and figure out together how best to do that.

You were upfront about the hours you can work, you are already working a 9 hr day, they obviously think you can do the job otherwise they wouldn't have hired you.

As for your concerns about your son I wouldn't be worrying about trying to do extra hours I'd be leaving at 5 to set a precedent, that way at least you will get some time to see him in the evening.
Your son isn't going to be 2 forever and will soon be up later in the evening and if you set a good routine now of working your core hours and leaving on time - remember this is what you took the paycut for - then you will be able to spend time with him in the evening.

Thank you! You are right about setting a precedent.

BikeChick - you said it yourself, you can get the work done in the hours that you do. Anything on top of that is frankly, face time. You're not the childless woman, you have a responsibility to your family, so you don't have the luxury of spending hours in the office sending late emails and showing everyone how committed you are. Doing your work efficiently is more important than sending emails late at night.

It's early days and you're still adjusting to a new routine - so is your son. Go easy on yourself. If you're not leaving early enough to see him in the evening, leave earlier. Make no apologies.