Job offers after career break, advice on how best to politely decline?

[TheBigBangFairy]

First off, I realise that I am in a very fortunate position to have received 2 offers after an almost 4 year career break, especially in this economic climate. I've been pretty lucky to have landed on my feet, am certainly not taking it for granted, and ideally do not want to burn bridges with the job I decline!

The tricky thing is... the job I will be declining is a company for whom I have been doing on/off short term contract work over the last couple of years (I'll call them Company A). I know the team at A I'd have been working for fairly well. They initially approached me about the possibility of a role with them, and I responded that I would definitely consider them when I decided to return to work...

Which I did - consider them, that is. Sent them my CV, had a meeting - went well, negotiated a salary. However, I also applied to another company (I'll call Company B) as a back-up plan in case things didn't work out with A. I didn't get the job I applied for at B, but to my surprise, B recently got in touch with me to offer an alternative role for better ££ than at A. Company B is also much nearer to me, which means I'll not have to go pro-rata, my commuting costs will be ££ lower, and I'll easily be able to get back in time for the kids' bedtime.

BUT... how do I inform A without pissing them off?? Or making them feel like I was stringing them along all the time (I wasn't, deliberately)? They put a business case together, they've been really flexible, family-friendly etc. Their only fault was that they were a bit slow in responding during the salary negotiation phase, which made me nervous, which was why I applied to B in the first place!

I feel like I just want to phone A and be honest with them, since they deserve that at least. Except that Mr. Google keeps telling me that salary shouldn't be mentioned when citing reasons for declining an offer. Why not? TBH, if it weren't for childcare fees (I've 2 children who'll need full time care), I might have still gone with A, but as it is I can't really ignore the extra ££ we'll gain per month if I work for B.

Good grief - thanks if you're still reading this. I know there are plenty of people on this board with far more worthwhile dilemmas than how to say "no thank you" without annoying anyone, but I'd appreciate any words of wisdom - especially any from an employer's/recruiter's perspective!

to be honest I think I have been offered a job that suits me better is a reasonable thing to say - and if they asked why say about the commuting time - I think re the salery I wouldn't mention it as it can come across as you are looking for more - by the way have you had both job offers in writing?

Both offers have been made in writing through e-mail, but not by letter/snail-mail. No contracts have been presented or signed at this stage. I haven't verbally accepted either role yet - although B is waiting for my response early next week and A may (or may not) have assumed I've accepted...

I know I'm probably being paranoid, (so really am just looking for some sort of reassurance - or to be told to stop being daft, that'll do too), but if I tell them I found something more suited to my skills, does that not leave the impression I was stringing them along until something better landed on my lap? Not that citing salary as a reason wouldn't give the same impression anyway...

I'm looking for an easy way out of an unpleasant conversation, and there isn't one is there...? I'll just need to work on my spine over the weekend, ready for Monday...

I think the longer you string it out the harder it's going to be. Surely the better location/commute with B is reason enough without mentioning salary.

But... are you sure that B is the one you want? I can see that the extra ££ are important, but is it a case of listening to your head when your heart is telling you something different? If the answer to that is no then you need to make the call sooner rather than later - but don't assume A will give up without a fight. I was in a similar position and ended up being offered more ££ and less hours by my equivalent of A (I still turned them down and I still regret it).

I agree re: stringing it out. Actually it went fine; they were very professional and understanding. Although, if they had simply cursed at me and hung up, at least I'd probably not be feeling so bad about having to decline!

I didn't mention salary at all - An0therName was correct to point out it would sound like I was trying to coax them to offer more, and I didn't want them to think I was purposefully playing them against another company. I just cited the logistics of the long commute, combined with childcare, and left it at that.

Sorry to hear about your company A regrets rockdoctor. It's so hard to know what the right choice is at the time though, isn't it? "What if"... probably the most frustrating question to have lingering on your mind! And always much worse if the option we do choose doesn't live up to its promises!