Dealing with a prat

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Hi there

I've been back at work following mat for a few months. Whilst I was off a prat tried to take some of my responsibilities. I sorted this out when I returned. He has some input but I am overall responsible (it's for the high profile company website). Anyway, found out today that he has organised a meeting to review the website and changes that I have made, get agreement and do some user testing (his team assisted me with layout and design but I supplied and manage all content). This is with a very important internal client group. I had no idea this was planned and wasn't invited.

I found out and asked when it was but can't make it as it's tomorrow and unlike him I actually have work to do so can't drop everything. Feel very undermined and my boss doesn't seem too fussed. He also won't reply to my emails about not going forward without me and won't answer why he has done this without any consultation. I also just found out that he has changed a lot of the design I did, again, with no consultation and no response as to why.

As we are at same level not sure how to approach. Was thinking about phoning him unnanounced and asking where meeting is. Then asking a team member to go until I can make it (about 30 mins later). Should I say anything to his boss (she thinks he's great). Should I just ignore and allow myself to be undermined and let him think that he's got one over me?
I'm just not a very ruthless person and tend to get on with people at work so not used to this kind of thing- anyone got any tips...please! :)

Refer it to hc- ask them to investigate giving details.

If your company has proper procedures in place (particularly given the mat leave element), they will put the fear of god in him .

I wouldn't bother deciding on tactics (ie turning up on meeting) as a prat IMe doesn't deprat (in fact usually gets worse) if you engage their games.

Hi Gigondas- thanks for the tip- what does hc stand for?

Human capital /resources/personnel (Always a different name in
Different co).

Normally I would say rise above etc but this bloke seems to be systematically undermining you when he has no grounds to so and it could be constructed as relating to your sex due to ml element.

And as for worrying about bad feeling, don't - this bloke clearly has no respect for you personally or professionally so I doubt if it could be worse.

Thanks again Gigondas. Funny you mention the gender aspect- I've also felt this guy has a really bad attitude towards women. Once in a meeting he refered to his team as 'his girls'.

HR at my place will do nothing- perhaps I should ask for boudaries from his and my boss? Pose it as a clarification meeting to try and formalise things in a safer environment...

I would ask hr because the concept of open ended claim should be uppermost in their minds. Also discuss away boundaries with your boss as well but I think this man needs to be told in no uncertain times it's not just a difference In style or job spec.

I would deal with this in partnership with your boss. Handled the wrong way this could all make things much worse.

I would tell your boss that X has organised a meeting to discuss XYZ and that you have not been invited and you are concerned that this oversight is undermining the (ie your boss's) department and position within the company. Therefore, you have decide to send Y for the first part of the meeting until you can attend at XX:XX and you will be giving your apologies to the other invitees.

State that as you have inadvertently been overlooked you will be emailing X to request meeting details and explain that Y will be attending until you can attend and that in future you would like to be invited in good time to attend these meetings as it is a key part of your job. I would cc your boss into that email or blind cc.

I would then email everyone else due to be at the meeting and apologize that you will not able to attend the first part due to you not receiving your invitation in time but you will be sending Y instead to deputise.

Or better still I'd move things around this once and go myself to the whole thing but do as above. You need to show your boss this is their problem too and show X you cannot be pushed around but keep it all very much "benefit of the doubt/misunderstanding".

Going in all guns blazing crying discrimination is probably not the place to start. By all means have it out with X but do it in person and in private. Keep written correspondence factual and impersonal but very clear you're not to be messed with.

I think your meeting idea also sounds sensible op.

Hi KatieMiddleton

Thanks for that- that would be my more usual approach. Just don't want to come across as a push over and feel that he's obviously no respect for me.

It's hard enough trying to keep on top of everything as a working mum without having to deal with this pettiness. I would have gladly shared this area but he just seems to have it in for me and just makes a simple situation complicated!

Good luck. Be firm, be professional and handle this in the way you are most comfortable with. It can be hard adjusting to people coming in and out of the workplace regardless of the reasons. Your best weapon is being very, very good at your job.

Having a plan of action is helpful too.

How has it gone?