Bored/stressed at work and pregnant (again!) with DC3

[lodo]

Just curious if anyone is/ has been in the same situation...

I have a well paid job in the city which I enjoy(ed) and I was really making progress. With DC1, I took a full year off during 2009. I then became pregnant with DC2 so was only back at work for about 8 months. During this 8 months, my career basically stopped - I had very little work to do and I lost a lot of confidence in what I do. I took another year off with DC2. I have been back at work for 6 months now, although work was slow, it was building up.

I am now 5 months pregnant with DC3 and for the past 8 weeks (basically since telling work I'm pregnant) work has ground to a halt and I have NOTHING to do. Sounds great to be paid to be doing nothing, but I find it mind-numbingly dull, stressful and I feel incredibly miserable. My DH says I need to get another job, but this isn't an option right now with another maternity leave coming up, etc.

I really want to work (very sad I know, but I love numbers and spreadsheets) but I feel that I can't continue to "work" as if it remains as it is (I would like to have another child after this one). I am very frightened that if I stop work, I will not be able to get back into the workplace at a later date. (Women are only just getting through the ranks in my profession). I am now starting to think perhaps I should be a SATM but I worry that this wouldn't make me happy either. Does anyone have any words of wisdom they could share?

It's not you, it's your job / the management for this particular job. Hang on for a little while until 29 weeks or whatever is the earliest you can take maternity leave, go off for another year if you like, and apply for a new job when you are on maternity leave if you can.

I was in a similar situation in 2009, it was rubbish but it was a combination of a hard pregnancy, a poorly managed job, and the stock markets collapsing at the time. I am in a job I really like now, and if I wanted to have another child, I could do so.

Also, hope you don't mind me saying, but if you feel trapped in your current job by wanting DC 4 due to wanting a fairly small gap between DC 3 and DC 4, that's quite difficult for you, but if you would be happier to have a bigger gap then it would be easier on your career planning.

But you sound like you've given up... have you scheduled meetings with your line managers, HR etc to explain how you feel and how you are wanting to make a positive contribution in the time before you go on ML? Sometimes the work is out there, you just need to show you're driven and seek it out. in the workplace, it may be unfair but people do draw conclusions from very long maternity leaves and short gaps between children - you've got to show you've got the work ethic and commitment to prove them wrong.

Your employer shouldn't be treating you like this. You should continue to get given work regardless of whether you are pregnant. And you shouldn't make a decision about being a SAHM based on this experience as it shouldn't be like this.

Have you spoken to your employers and explained what is happening and the effect it's having on you? They may assume (wrongly) that you will want to take it easier now you are pg and with two small DCs, and so are not giving you work for this reason. Another possibility is that they are fed up of dealing with your successive mat leaves and want you to give up and leave before they have to pay for mat leave number 4. Either way, you need to speak to them and make it clear that you want to continue to work after DCs and do not want to be treated differently just because you are pg.

As an aside, though - would you definitely be able to manage/enjoy your job if you did get given a "normal" workload, with 2 or 3 DCs? It sounds like you have only ever experienced a light workload since you had DCs. I know that in my City job I would struggle with DCs and a normal workload - but then my job has long hours, and my DH also works long hours so can't do much at home - perhaps these don't apply to you.

Thanks for the words of advice and support.

I have resigned myself to the fact that things are not going to improve in the short term but I've decided to have a meeting with my line manager to explain how I feel (how will they know otherwise?). I can't see myself being SAHM so I'm going to put off that decision until I return next time and see how things progress, but thanks once again for responding to my post (I don't feel so alone now!).