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clingy DD and new childminder/nursery

19 replies

biglips · 16/02/2006 20:24

possibly that i be back to work in the nexy couple of weeks but ive got a DD (16m) who is with me 24/7.. i do take her to playgroups 3 times a week but i cannot leave her there as its not a nursery where you can leave her there

what is the best next step for me to reassure DD to stop being clingy once ive gone back to work?

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biglips · 16/02/2006 20:25

oh.. i have never worked since i had DD

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biglips · 16/02/2006 20:39

bump

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Enid · 16/02/2006 20:41

do you have any close family members who you can leave her with?

is she booked into a nursery - could you have a trial run?

biglips · 16/02/2006 20:43

it possibly could be with a registered childminder as we know one but whether she got any free spaces or know anyone who is a recommended childminder or last resort we will look for a nursery

DD loves her ninny (my mum) but she got a bad back atm! but the last time she had her a whole day when baba was 5 mth old

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Enid · 16/02/2006 20:44

you are going back in a couple of weeks and you haven't sorted any childcare?

biglips · 16/02/2006 20:46

well no as we have (me adn dp) decided today that im going back to work as we are skint (as we called IR today and sorted it all out today)

i should be getting on my horse shouldnt i? to look for a childminder!

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biglips · 16/02/2006 21:03

well can anyone at least help me out on this one pls?

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biglips · 16/02/2006 21:21

bump

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biglips · 16/02/2006 21:37
Sad
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blueshoes · 16/02/2006 21:38

I would suggest you sort out childcare asap . It is just a question of getting your dd settled into her new environment. and the carers/childminder. I haven't used childminders but most nurseries will have a 2 week settling in period. Make sure she is settled in before you start work. With my superclingmonster, I settled her in really slowly ie even after the settling in period, I paid for full sessions but took her out early for months until I felt she could do the full session. Don't know if you have that option.

It is not the same as a playgroup as the faces at the playgroup change all the time. What childminder/nursery offers is familiar carer(s), which is a lot more reassuring to your dd, once she can trust them to take care of her needs.

FrayedKnot · 16/02/2006 21:55

I have recently got a new job (starting in just over a week). At interviews I told employers I needed a minimum of 4 weeks notice to settle DS into childcare.

I had already viewed three nurseries and spoken to childminders and had a shortlist of 2 nurseries I had chosen which I knew had places, which I would be happy for DS to go to.

DS started his settling in last week, he has had 2 sessions where I stayed with him, and two where I have left him for short periods, so far.

Next week he will go to 3-4 sessions, I will leave him for longer each time until the last one he does a full session.

I couldn't contemplate starting a job without having all this in place and being happy that DS is happy. In an ideal world I would have settled him in over a longer period but financially we couldn't do it. As it is, the nursery don;t charge until he takes up his place properly, which I thought was a real bonus.

Do you already have a job then or are you going to start looking? It took me 2 months of serious looking (papers, websites every day, ringing agencies twice a week, etc) to find the right thing.

biglips · 16/02/2006 22:27

well teh problem we've got is that we cannot afford to pay childcare as we've got NO money and thats the reason why ive got to go back to work

how am i gonna pay?

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biglips · 16/02/2006 22:28

oh ive start looking from today for a job

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biglips · 16/02/2006 22:29

sorry didnt read your post properly Frayed

nursery is free till take up place properly so i presumed childminder is not free ??

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blueshoes · 17/02/2006 10:41

Biglips, as frayedknot described, it takes a while to sort out childcare (4-6 weeks minimum). So the best thing is to do it at the same time as looking for a job.

For childminders, they must surely have a settling-in period. Whether it is free or not, perhaps another mumnetter with experience can advise. The first thing I'd do is call the childminder you have in mind as to whether she has vacancies and what her terms are like.

To research nurseries, call your council for a list of registered day nurseries. Shortlist them (location of course being the first factor). Then arrange for a visit ideally with your dd, make sure you and dd have a good feeling about it, ask lots of questions. Check the prices, times, and very importantly, whether they have vacancies. My dd was on a wait list for 3 nurseries for a year (put her down before she was even born!) and I had to pay a non-refundable £25 registration fee with each for the privilege with no guarantee of places. So unless there are lots of places going spare in your area, I wouldn't necessarily call nurseries a place of last resort, esp the good ones.

It is worthwhile to take the time to find the right childminder/nursery for your dd. If your dd is happy, it makes leaving her to go to work so much easier. And she will adapt .

And I know this is pretty obvious, but some of us find ourselves in a position whereby the cost of childcare may equal or even exceed our take home pay. Whatever job/hours you are looking for, you have to bear that in mind.

ThePrisoner · 17/02/2006 18:05

In the ideal world, I guess it is better to have several weeks to find childcare and settle child in, but I have to say that I've had phone calls by frantic parents let down at the last minute by their childcare arrangments, and have had children start very soon afterwards.

biglips · 19/02/2006 22:59

well the good news is that my mum decided to take DD off me once or twice a week whilst ill be sorting things out and plus for baba to get used not being with me 24/7

BUT heres a question as im looking for work and want to put DD with a childminder... i dont know when i be start working till i get a job and then DD will be with childminder but i want to try it out first to see where im happy for DD to go and for DD to be comfy too... if i do it now.. can i guarantee her place (pay deposit type of thing?) till i start work?
thanks for everyones advice!

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biglips · 19/02/2006 22:59

oh my mum offered too

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ThePrisoner · 20/02/2006 00:36

If you want to have a childminder for a set number of days per week, but only want to use a few hours to settle your dd in until you get a job, I think you'll find that childminders all work very differently.

Personally, I would charge you for the hours you wanted beforehand (settling in etc), and then set up a proper contract once you had a job and knew exactly what hours/days you wanted.

However, other childminders might charge you something to keep the space available until you wanted it permanently. The only way you'll find out for sure is to ring a few in your area and ask them!

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