The guilt is killing me and the crying is worse :-(

[mosschops30]

ds2 has been with me for 2.5 yrs, only one day spent with ILs for me to work.

Now he is at creche mon/weds/fri, ILs on tues and childminder thurs

After 3 weeks he has started crying when we go anywhere in the car, as if he thinks we are taking him somewhere. Its worse when we are actually going to creche, he really sobs and its breaking my heart.
DS1 and dd both went to a cm with no probs.

CM has offered to have him full time from september.

Would it be better for him to just go to one place?
Hes still not really talking so i thought mixibng with lots of others would help?
Will he be scarred for life and become some sort of emotional fuckwit?
Will he ever forgive me?

Please help i could really do with some advice.

Firstly, the very fact that you are worrying about this shows you are a good mum. Its really really hard. I have 2 boys (now 7 and 9) but when they were younger, I tried nursery and childminder. Personally, I think they did best with the childminder. I always felt the nursery was a bit impersonal, a bit cold. Thats just my own personal experience. My childminder was fantastic and I cannot speak highly enough of her. You could tell they felt safe and secure in a homely environment. Is your son able to mix with other children at the childminders? Mine also did school runs with them so that the younger children got use to the idea of going to school before they went. Mine also went to the pre school associated with their now school which meant when they started school, they did so with their peers from pre school. He wont be an emotional "fuckwit" as clearly he has a loving, caring mother in you and thats important. Give yourself a break, you are trying to do what is best for him and the family. So, I guess I am rambling but to summarise, mine did childminder and pre school and that seems to have worked really really well. I would suggest childminder (if you are 100% happy with her) and IL s if they are happy to continue this as its always nice for them to spend time with family. (I never had that luxury as my mum has passed and my dad lives in Jersey!).

From my experience, whatever you do you will feel guilty! I did! But mine did Ok and I am sure your little man will be fine too. I hope that helps....??????

Thanks so much for your lovely post

i rang my childminder tonight (she was dd and ds1 cm and they thought of her as their second mum) she said she would love to take him 4 days a week. She said she hates the idea of him going to creche!
Its £2 more a day but i would pay a million to stop ds2 from crying
she has 3 boys mon-weds then one little boy on a thurs and fri so he will mix with others