Help - sat at my desk f&*@ing seething

[gnomeland]

Help, am in an absolute fury and don't know what to do.

I am freelance and working on a project at the moment. I am responsible for bringing the business in, and managing the relationship of the client. I am also supposed to have some kind of editorial responsibility for the project.

The manager of the project is a bit of a control freak (the MD of the company). There is quite a tight deadline and it's all been a bit stressful.

Anyway, I am currently in the office and went to ask a question to find him, and another member of staff (complicated relationship but we are supposed to be working together/job sharing) sitting with the technical team reviewing the project. Proper, final editorial review.

I have deliberately been excluded (he knew I was here and specifically asked me to get on with some other more minor project).

I am fucking furious, so essentially it will be sent off to the client without me seeing it.

What shall I do? Tensions are a bit high so I don't want to look like the drama queen having a hissy fit in the corner but I am so angry I might cry.

Hello, can't offer much by way of advice but didn't want you to be unanswered. The only piece of advice I can give, sadly speaking from experience, is don't cry, it weakens you position. But then you probably know that! Can you let the client know that you've been excluded?

No, that would look REALLY bad

Can you ask him why he did that - does he have any concerns over your involvement. As you are freelance he is your client, it would be a legitimate question to ask him if he had any issues with your performance so you can ask the question in a 'can I help you resolve your concerns' way, rather than a WTF are you doing way. That puts him on the back foot if he has no justification and may bring him back into a cooperative working mood again? If he comes up with something you can 'fix' it and back in again. In the meantime it means you have regained control and he knows you won't take nonsense. Might make him less inclined to sideline you next time. He needs to recognise that your relationship with the client is important and that can't work if you aren't allowed in on stuff. He would also look a dick if you made assurances he didn't back up just because you were out of the loop.
He sounds like a right PITA.

Sorry, bad grammar.

Ok, so you need to decide if you can bring it up with the MD. What do you think?

I have never been a freelancer, although have worked with them on projects, so don't know the politics here. I have however, worked for a control freak boss who would take projects away from you willy-nilly if you were either doing it too well and they wanted the credit or if they just felt like it. Ruling by instilling constant paranoia - what fun! Needless to say, I don't work there anymore .

piffpaffpoff you have summed the situation up entirely

It's tricky as work is hard to come by at the moment so don't want to shoot myself if the foot but at the same time ............

The person who is reviewing it with him has worked here for much longer and is very non-threatening, lower status.

I think he is fine with me bringing in the business based on my contacts and reputation but then wants it to all be about him.

Very difficult to work professionally around someones ego!

No wonder you're hopping mad.

Sounds like he needs you as much as you need him though, and if you are in there making him look good, so long as you don't embarrass him he will keep giving you work.

Think you need to consider how to manage this but not while you're furious, as you say you don't want to shoot yourself in the foot.

Is there a way you could make him realise you can't be cut out but while making it look like it's in his own interests?

The only thing I found that worked was getting everything in writing, so as GinPalace suggests, a quick chat to say why did you do that, then follow it up with an email summarising the conversation. This then means you have evidence when faced with the 'no, I didn't say that/ you have clearly misunderstood' conversation that inevitably comes along. And then you do this for every project/ piece of work you get. At some point they will get angry and complain about 'all this extra work' or not reply to your emails. Thats the point that you are winning because they know why you are doing and why, and don't want you doing it any more! And you just keep on doing it!

I had years of this, can you tell.....

'know what you are doing and why...' - tsk, iPad.

1 go out for a walk right now

2 when you have regained your composure, ask to talk to the MD and ask him why he sidelined you, given your editorial responsibility on the project. Make it clear that you would not have accepted the job if you had understood that you would not be present for final sign off, as that could be problematic for you as a sole trader with a reputation to uphold.

3 based on his response, decide whether you are ever prepared to work for him again

4 you brought in this business, you have the contacts he needs. Other people need people like you. If he doesn't know that, he's an idiot. You know though. Don't you?

5 this guy is not your boss, he's a client. He's treating you as junior staff. Remind him that that's not what's going on here.

yes, that's what I must do

(athing, you are becoming my hero on so many threads at the moment, you may have to move in ).

I'm going to go and get some lunch, regroup, and come back.

and breathe.

Right, he came down and said 'sorry, I've neglected you today, have you got enough to be getting on with' .

I said I had been busy liaising with client. I asked if I would be able to see it before the end of the day. He then went on about timescales and tight deadlines etc, tried to imply I would need to stay very late (which he knows I can't at short notice due to childcare).

I told him that I the client is expecting me to have seen it, in my best 'clipped and serious' voice.

He said 'we'll try, or maybe you could join us at the next break.'

Now there's an idea .

So we'll see how the day pans out, but thank you all for allowing me to retain my cool.

That's an improvement then. So glad you managed to calm down.

Hope he does more than try! do you have a dart board at home you could pin his picture to and let it out ready for the day tomorrow?

:)

" 'sorry, I've neglected you today, have you got enough to be getting on with' "

That is not how you address someone in a senior role who brings in business and has editorial responsibility on your projects. He's treating you as a junior member of his staff.

Make sure you are included from the next break.

If you are prepared to work with him again, bring this up and negotiate a contract that includes editorial sign-off.

Well, things have not improved. He then came out saying they were hoping to finish in time for me to look through it before I left. This is clearly not going to happen (as well he knew).

He has thanked me profusely for something I sorted out for him today, and called to ask my opinion on one thing then said 'better crack on if we're to finish'.

He knows I am very annoyed and, due to the deadline, now is not the time to have it out with him. That will have to wait until it's been delivered. However, I may intimate that I am considering my position in the meantime

He sounds incredibly patronising and dismissive. Which is especially rubbish considering he needs you. Suspect he is the kind of guy you would hate to be married to!
Why on earth you couldn't just be involved in the final meeting defies understanding

Hope you are able to resolve this to your satisfaction. :(

Would it be possible to imply you are going to email the client to say you didn't get sign off and therefore any questions are to go to xx?

And grrr at them knowing you can't stay late. Fucking pisses me off when my kids are used as someone elses excuse.

Why didn't you go in after the next break?

He had as good as invited you.

When do you leave?

I would probably go in and ask to see what had been done so far before heading home.

I would also presume loudly that I'd get a final look in the morning.

Don't make noises about considering your position until the project has finished and you have had a chance to speak to the client you brought in.

Be as pushy and irritating as you need to be to get what you need at this point.

There was no next break!

They didn't come out of the room again

He kept saying, I'm hoping to finish in time for you to see it. But really, the point is I should have been included in the review from the start.

In my view, he needed my input and deliberately chose not to have it.

I need to find a way of getting this across, rather than him feeling he should have shown me out of politeness.

Then you need to tell him tomorrow about how displeased you were with how things were conducted today, that it was extremely irregular for you to have been excluded from sign off, and that your input was important, was part of what he was paying you for, was what the client was expecting and that there is now a problem of inadequate sign off.

Then ask how he plans to rectify that problem (if it can be rectified).

He has been very unprofessional in the way he has dealt with this. I would make my disdain for the way he conducted himself today quite plain.

He sounds like a joker.

what AThing said is spot on.

AThing - you are fab!

Update for everyone who was kind enough to give advice.

He knew how angry I was. I went up to say goodbye at 5:30 (half an hour after I was due to leave) and he said I could look at it then. I said I had to go.

I haven't been in the office since as I've been at a conference and working from home today.

However, I saw the finished project today and it became clear that there were some issues with it, in that it didn't match up with some of the things in my initial briefing. I had to send a very apologetic email (which I cc'd him) saying that the content had changed at the last minute and therefore I was sending revised documentation. .

I felt like he'd got the point

THEN

he sent an email later in the day saying that he was working on the final contact/credit list for the project and suggested changing my role title to more accurately reflect my input [anger]. Essentially, a demotion on paper.

I sent him a very stern reply saying that my role should remain unchanged. That I had contributed as much as I was able and, although not being involved in the final review was unfortunate, that was the role the client was expecting me to fulfil.

He backtracked VERY quickly.

So, in short, he's a meglamaniacal loon. I think I need to look around for something else but try to keep the contract in the meantime, whilst being professional.