i feel like im being bullied

[bucketbetty]

But I'm not sure. I'm often a sensitive. In a nutshell, a male colleague, who is difficult with most people makes me feel really anxious. I often have to work alongside him and have to attend lots of meetings with him. I get so anxious in advance of meetings because I'm worried that he ll get annoyed with me. I get tongue tied lots. I think he's a big bully but I'm also a grown woman so I just need to deal with it but don't understand why I go to pieces around him. Any ideas for managing my nerves around him would be appreciated. My biggest worry is that I more often than not react to him. I try to prepare myself in advance but often react then get really upset with myself afterwards. I feel tearful tonight about it. I wish I didn't have to deal with him.

Sounds like you are being a bit - if not bullied, then definitely intimidated.

Have you tried assertiveness training? You can get CDs but I don't know how effective they are if you are timid anyway.

Thanks captain. I'm not timid at all. I'm usually really quite assertive and can stand up for myself. I find this man really intimidating. But he has a rep for being difficult so I shouldn't take it personally. I'm confused at why I lose the ability to be assertive with this man.

If he's like that with everyone then maybe it's not your problem! Have you tried picturing him naked? Or sitting on the loo? As a small snotty child?

I know it's hard when he is blustering and doing a Nigel Clough-type bombast but now you know what the problem is can you prepare yourself to 'step outside' the moment and gather yourself? It's what i try to do if i feel myself getting flustered which happens lots.

How funny. I'll give it a go next time. It's all about not rising to it. My reaction gives him a sense of power. Humiliating people is where he gets off. I for some good advice today. Focus on the good in him, and there is good. That will help. I'm sure of it. Thanks captain.