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Original poster

45 and trapped!

18 replies

moretolife · 12/02/2006 19:43

i'm 45, with 2 kids, 4 & 7yo. my job is p/t, 2.5 days a wk, as admin officer, public sector.it used to be ok,mainly because i had a nice bunch of colleagues, but a new & v unpopular boss has seen off all the people I used to work with. Now, i'm wondering what to do next. i've gone for other similar jobs, but the pay & conditions just dont compare with where i am now. I get lots of annual leave, flexitime, good pension etc. To leave for similar work elsewhere would make no sense. I don't have any specialist quals or experience, or means of funding retraining for a new career. Should I just stay, grit my teeth Tue-Thur every week & count my blessings, or start looking for a new career now, at 45 with 2 young kids??

OP posts:
Latz · 12/02/2006 19:50

mtl - you have maybe got another 20 years (doesn't that make you mad!) putting up with second best and hassle at work.

I would look for something and see what happens - if you are public sector pensions etc can be transferred (NHS, Police civilian, council) tbh a lot of employers are looking for 'older' their words not mine as they will (hopefully) not have to lose staff on maternity leave.

Go for it - short term you've still got a job so have nothing to lose.

tillykins · 12/02/2006 19:59

you and me both moretolife
you could be me posting - except I am a few (very few) years younger

go look for something else - like latz says, police, council, NHS

I am - perhaps we could swap jobs!!!

Original poster
moretolife · 12/02/2006 20:08

Hi Latz & tillykins, well, yes, looking for somethng else to do is the problem. I do look, off & on, and last year i dedicated about 2 mths to serious jobhunting, looking every day, doing loads of applications. i got several interviews. the problem was that no other job at a similar level offered the perks i have now in terms of either pay, or amount of leave, flexibility etc. In other words, to move I'd have to take a pay cut, lose quite a bit of holiday & therefore have to pay out more in childcare etc. so i've looked, i've tried and found that it isn't worth it. That's my problem. To make it worth moving i'd have to do something radically different, but a) i've no idea what and b) i can't afford to retrain/ get new qualifcations even if i did have an idea!!! But the fact still is that i'm working in a place i'm coming to dislike more & more, where all my friends have moved on. So thats why i feel stuck. What's your situation, tillykins?

OP posts:
FrayedKnot · 12/02/2006 20:26

I'm not surprised you feel like this moretolife because I have recently tried to return to P/T work (after 2 years as a SAHM) and can't match anything like my previous salary or benefits.

I took voluntary redundancy from my previous job while on Mat leave and then we had to move, so even if I had gone back I would have had to resign.

I am starting a new job in two weeks, for half my previous salary and in a much more mundane role. It was the only thing that seemed half suitable (and they wanted me) in several months of searching.

The only benefit is it's a large company with prospects so if I like it (and being back at work) I am hoping to work my way back up again in terms of salary & role.

I really resent this as I feel I worked hard enough to get where I was before I had DS iyswim.

Sorry not much help at all but just wanted to say I sympathise.

How dependent is your household on your income? I suppose that's what it boils down to in terms of what other options you might have.

Latz · 12/02/2006 20:34

Can u get a Individual Learning Account and maybe do the European Computer Driving Licence can do it online in my local college - and cos I earn less than 15k i get £200 towards it - live in Scotland may be different in England.

Could u give us a clue what area you work in?

katymac · 12/02/2006 20:38

I took VR (a whole £1500) and became a C/Mer - I now have a much better quality of life - but few holidays no job security

Is running your own business something that would interest you?

I was so brain dead in my old job (CS)

bran · 12/02/2006 20:49

Could you persuade your new boss to move? Drop little flattering hints about how good he/she would be at something else, and how surprise you are they he/she would be happy in the current dead-end job, and find job adverts that would be tempting and leave them lying around.

Is there anything that you would be interested in doing for a living? If both your kids are in school (or will be soon) then you might have time to retrain and still do your current job for a bit longer. It might seem bearable if you know that you will be getting out after a definite period of time.

Original poster
moretolife · 12/02/2006 20:56

hi again. we are reliant on my income, so leaving work, or earning less aren't options. my partner's job isn't secure at all, mine is. At the end of the day, if he loses his job (which has happened a few times)my job's our only secure income. that's another part of the trap i'm in. Also, he works long hours, is often away, so i have to have flexibility because i'm the one who has to be around for the kids. What's a C/Mer?

OP posts:
Original poster
moretolife · 12/02/2006 20:59

Bran - i heard new boss talking to someone the other day, saying he hoped to stay in the job for at least another 5 years :0!!!!!!!

OP posts:
Latz · 12/02/2006 20:59

What about other jobs within organisation - sideways transfer?

katymac · 12/02/2006 22:42

Sorry - Childminder

Original poster
moretolife · 16/02/2006 14:17

my solution to feeling trapped in job i don't like: live for holidays!! (of which i have lots, one of the perks that keeps me trapped - life is loaded with irony.)

OP posts:
Original poster
moretolife · 16/02/2006 14:19

In fact, how does my time off compare with others? I work 2.5 days, get 20 days leave a year, plus about 10-15 days in flexitime (for having to travel with work). That's good, right, I'm not just imagining it? It is a reason to carry on, isn't it???!

OP posts:
Mazzystar · 16/02/2006 14:39

wow the time off is great.....really great.

do you like the work itself? are there other things you would like to explore? i bet you have LOTS of transferable skills.

Mazzystar · 16/02/2006 14:40

can you use your fabulous time off to do some personal development or training?

blueshoes · 16/02/2006 15:01

moretolife, you don't have to leave right away. You have only been jobhunting for 2 months. It took me 2 years to find the right fit for me - not all of it intensive looking, of course. But when the time is right, you will be surprised how everything clicks into place. If it is not, it is like pushing water uphill. In the meantime, loads could happen eg your boss leaves, get better colleagues etc.

And make the best use of your hols! It is a lot for 2.5 days a week

blueshoes · 16/02/2006 15:01

moretolife, you don't have to leave right away. You have only been jobhunting for 2 months. It took me 2 years to find the right fit for me - not all of it intensive looking, of course. But when the time is right, you will be surprised how everything clicks into place. If it is not, it is like pushing water uphill. In the meantime, loads could happen eg your boss leaves, get better colleagues etc.

And make the best use of your hols! It is a lot for 2.5 days a week

blueshoes · 16/02/2006 15:01

oops, doublepost

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