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Original poster

Dh having a really shit time...don't think I can cope with much more.

18 replies

diavlo · 28/04/2012 21:42

Dh started work as a nursing home manager last may. Unbeknown to him it had quite a few issues with poor practice etc, so he started trying to improve things, getting updates for the staff etc

Things escalated with investigations and he and 2 other nurses were arrested (still on bail since last October until August) for apparently not handling/giving medication safely. He admits he could have managed things better, but he didn't have long to turn things around.

The company ceased trading and he has been without pay since.

Now today he has had notice to attend a hearing with his professional body with a view to suspending his registration. I just can't cope with all of this hanging over our heads...I sometimes feel like I could just ie with worry:(

Can there ever be a future if worst comes to worse?

OP posts:

goodygumdrops · 28/04/2012 21:53

Oh dear poor you. Is your DH in a union like the RCN? He could really use some professional advice. If this is an NMC hearing I think that acknowledging mistakes and the implications of them goes in your favour much more than denying a problem if that makes sense.

Not sure what you mean by can their be a future? Do you mean as a couple?

catonlap · 28/04/2012 21:53

Has he had any legal advice on how to handle things and what the likely outcome is? Does he have a union or some sort of medical defence membership?

Springforward · 28/04/2012 21:57

Can you afford to consult an employment lawyer?

Original poster

diavlo · 28/04/2012 22:10

He has a solicitor but until they bring charges or tell him what the charges are likely to be there's nothing much he can do.

I'm just having a bit of a pity party...feels like the life we've worked our bums off for is lost forever. I can't say I haven't thought about grabbing the children and running away, but I wouldn't do that to him. I know he would support me if I was in trouble.

I've forgotten what it's like to have peace of mind...maybe vodka will hep??

OP posts:

Starwisher · 28/04/2012 22:55

Vodka wont help, it will just add more problems

Im really sorry for what your going through though.(hugs)

Please keep posting someone is bound to be able to help

Just wanted offer my sympathies x

Original poster

diavlo · 28/04/2012 22:59

Thanks, want to sleep but too anxious. Thing is the situation hasn't changed since yesterday when I felt quite calm about everything...he hasn't Ben able to work as a nurse being on bail anyway?

OP posts:

Starwisher · 28/04/2012 23:10

Its very stressful time for you not knowing what might happen. can you do somthing relaxing? Maybe find some funny threads on here to cheer you up for a bit, it works for me!

Did your dh do anything that warrants his arrest that you know of?

Original poster

diavlo · 28/04/2012 23:26

Not that we know of, the home had been open for 2 years and he was the 5th manager we found out later. We also found out that it had a less than favourable CQC report prior to his, and apparently the CQC could see improvements after he started!

He had never managed a nursing home before and was promised regular mentoring etc for as long as he wanted it (he has an unblemished nursing / managers record for 25yrs, but homes a very different job). He did make a couple of small drug errors I.e. not signing for drugs, but I'm a nurse and came accross 2 unsigned for drugs today but I just left a note for them to be signed for when she was next on, seems ridiculous to me!

I think he was hired to be the fall guy, but either way we just need to know so we can move on and get used to our new 'reality'

Thanks again for replying...I'm not normally needy:)

OP posts:

smurkle · 29/04/2012 19:34

First get Hume to contact his union. They will provide a solicitor to prepare a defence to the NMC and also a barrister to represent him at the hearing.

Admitting mistakes and having a plan of how to avoid further mistakes goes in his favour at a hearing. The NMC will investigate it and provide his solicitor with a copy of the investigation for him to respond to, prior to a hearing.

In the meantime take one day at a time, remember this will all be over and each day you get through the end will be nearer. Stay strong both for yourself and your husband x

Original poster

diavlo · 29/04/2012 20:27

Thank you so much smurkle. He's going to contact his union tomorrow.
This has been the worst year of our life, you don't realise how precious peace of mind is until you lose it:(

OP posts:

smurkle · 29/04/2012 21:31

The union will make you feel better I promise. They do this everyday and are wonderfully calm and collected about it. They will ask you to send paperwork from the NMC to them. Putting it in an envelope and posting it is a wonderful feeling, somebody else will decide what is best to do and do it!

Peace of mind comes from knowing your dh is a good nurse and him knowing that. What is happening at the moment is just another obstacle to jump over, it may seem too high to jump at the moment but it's amazing how as you get closer and closer the obstacles start to shrink.

Hang in there, one day at a time x

virgil · 29/04/2012 21:35

Not wanting to add to your woes but you should be really careful posting in here about this scenario and giving detail so that your DH can be identified from it. So many legal cases with social media angles at the moment.

smurkle · 29/04/2012 22:19

If you do feel uncomfortable discussing this here please feel free to message me, hope you and dh are ok x

Original poster

diavlo · 30/04/2012 19:45

Thanks smurkle, I might do that...you sound very knowledgable.

I have asked For the thread to be deleted, as following one of the reply's am a little worried my dh could be identified.

Thanks again to everyone for your support.

OP posts:

missingmumxox · 01/05/2012 01:49

Hug before delete, don't PM smurkles, don't know why! but just don't, sorry smukeles :) but you feel reporterish to me.
RCN, you are a nurse you know not signing the drug terrible no,no it just takes a couple of letters on the chart, that said I worked in a nursing home 18 years ago for 1 night, I was meant to do more, I never returned, my first and last ever 12 hour drug round, little staff, no ID on clients, 2 to a room, agency staff like me.
I was sold it on it was mainly residential and I would have an EN and HCA's working 6 in total for 30 nursing patients, got there, they did not lie appart from the fact I was in charge of 150 bed unit with that many staff! I had told them I had only been qualified 3 months, I was handed over to by a girl from my nursing set and I handed over to a girl in my set, all of us refused to work again there, fyi it was a a well know national nursing home and also Private Health insurer, so I don't get sued it wasn't BUPA,

missingmumxox · 01/05/2012 01:55

and no it wasn't BUPA.. bugger I am in a cosmic joke, just realise by what I said that make you think it is...damm the British sense of humour! I know it wasn't BUPA, It began with a a letter near N

smurkle · 01/05/2012 12:03

Just to say I'm not a reporter, wish I was. Just a nurse whom has been through the joy of NMC fitness to practice!

missingmumxox · 01/05/2012 23:31

Oh Smurkle sorry, how awful for you, I think my previous post summed up my feeling on big business nursing/residential homes, not all nursing/residential homes, just it took just bee to sting me to make me stear clear, it was awful, and I cried all the way home.

OP you husband needs to find every e-mail, letter,IM, text, phone call he ever made on this subject, if they are bust and it was work e-mail he used then his union rep should argue the point that he is unable to defend himself due this. to be honest I don't know if this will help, but really he should be able to defend himself fully, I think he is could be the scape goat, what a terrible time for you both.

also the thread is not deleted so I will report my message, and hopefully MN will delete.

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