Feel like I'm pushing dd away in preparation for my return to work...

[MumbleMumm]

I'm returning to work in 6 weeks, and subsequently I'm trying to get my 10 month old dd to nurse less, sleep in her pram (rather than on me or in sling), as well as be more strict about her self settling in the cot - which she already does 50% of the time.
All of this has left me feeling terribly guilty, I feel like I'm constantly pushing her away whereas before I would give her what she needed whenever she needed it. I know it needs to be done or she'll have a terrible shock when I suddenly leave her for three days a week.
I'm doing some short practice runs leaving her with her grandma but again I just feel awful.
Can anyone tell me if it gets better? I have to go back to work - but I just don't feel like I'm handling it very well :-(

sympathies - it is really hard. I am a few weeks behind you so can't really offer any wisdom. One thing I am finding useful is to extend DD's bedtime routie, so we have some lovely bonding time that will continue. Also seeing her with her grandparents, who love her so much and will love looking after her.

Thanks FallingandLaughing - I'm just feeling really down. I think an extended bedtime routine sounds like a good way to get some quality time with her. I don't think it is helping that some of my closest friends are attachment parents, and not returning to work, so if I say I feel like I'm abandoning my baby, rather than console me they tend to agree I feel like I'm two different people in my head at the moment - the Mum that wants to hug, hold, nurse etc 100% of the time 24/7, and the logical brain that is saying that it won't be so bad, dd will gain confidence at nursery & with mil, having some 'me' time could be good.
It might help if I enjoyed my job....!

The other approach is to continue, or even extend your attachment parenting, to support her coping without you on your working days.

I remember feeling like this when returning to work, but I found that my baby actually adapted really well to the other situations, and didnt expect to be breastfed or have everything the same. It's was almost as if she understood that when she was with me, we did what we liked, but when with granny or at nursery there were different routines. So I just carried on and she still breastfeeds and snuggles when we have our days together, and gets on with it fine when we are not!

And actually, it seems her favourite day is nursery day, when she has to fit in with their routine. She manages fine, but is shattered the day after (which is a day with me) so we always have a lazy day and take it at her pace.

Remember that all your attachment parenting will have given your baby a secure base from which to explore the world. If anything, I would continue with your usual practices as she will appreciate them on your days together and it will reassure her that nothing is different between you and she can still trust and depend on you as always. In fact, the sears book would recommend you co sleep to get that closeness in somehow, although that never worked for us very well.