suspended from work - devestated

[muckylugs]

hi all...hope you dont mind me posting on here but i have seen other similar stories so wanted to share mine too.
i had a week off work last week (leave of absence) to look after my partner who is ill. while i was off i had a job interview (planned before i requested LOA) and i found out on friday that i had gotten the job. However when i returned to work yesterday i was informed that my colleagues have made allegations of bullying agaisnts me and i was suspended. I cant even begin to explain what this has done to me...i cant function and i am completely devestated. I thought my colleagues were my friends and that we all got on really well...how wrong.
my main concern now is references for my new job.
as my partner is still poorly, my intention yesterday was to hand in my notice and request that i didnt serve any notice so that i could care for my partner before i started my new job...i was so shocked at the allegations that i didnt hand in my notice...however, i now dont know what to do...i have a new job to start (i hope!) and i feel i couldnt go back to work anyway (not after this).
shall i hand in my notice now and request immediate finish...but what about my refrences, will this jeopardise my new job......so sorry, im in bits x

Im pretty sure you can't just be suspended without a fact-find with your boss or something. Wherever I've worked there was a full process for it.

Check your contract.

Though i guess complaining about that might not help your reference.

Good luck

Sorry :(
Can you think of any instances where you may have been a bit heavy-handed with your colleagues?
If you think you're innocent of these allegations, I'd fight for my good name.
Take care.

Sorry just re-read your post.

Surely if they already offered you the job you don't need to worry about it? They must already have references or don't need them.

Are you a member of a union? If so, get hold of your rep. If not, do you have legal cover on your house insurance? Worth investigating if only so that you can tell your work that your solicitor will be dealing with things.

It must be awful but because of the new job, you may be in a good position to get them to guarantee your references will be unaffected by these (as yet completely unsubstantiated) allegations.

They may be delighted that you're going without a fuss so should agree to this easily I would think.

DO NOT hand in your notice until you are assured that the references have been unaffected and that no word of (possibly libellous) allegations will reach your new employers.

hi thanks for your answers, they are much appreciated. i belive that this is the hardest thing myself and my family have had to face...my partner and children are trying to keep my spirits up but i am so despondent.
frankly all i want to do is get away from this job and have a fresh start with my new one but i'm terrified my current employers may scupper my new start by not giving me a decent reference.....i still think im going to wake up and find its all a bad dream x

p.s. sorry, no im not in a union and my company doesnt recognise them anyway

Talk to any union rep first.

Personally, i would speak to the employer. I would offer to hand in my notice on the understanding that any reference would not make reference to this (as the whole thing should die with the resignation). They can't give you a 'bad' reference.

At least you will be leaving on your own terms and they won't hold you to working out your notice and you can start the new job, with a new slate.

Work places breeds very odd and horrible behaviour. Best friends often end up stabbing you in the back. Bear this in mind at your we place - don't be too chummy and pally, get involved in banter or gossip. Be friendly to everyone but assume that they can/will stab you in the back if it is into their benefit.

Good luck with the new job. I am sure the allegation will turn out to be a tissue, but you are in the 'lucky' position to have a new job offer on the table.

X post. Can the CAB help out here?

Employers can't give a bad reference. This is an allegation, and it is likely that it will turn put to be lies. They can't put this in a refence. They are usually x worked her from y to z and had x days off sick in the last 12 months. Besides, do you need to put them as a reference anyway?

Use words like 'libellous', 'allegations', 'unsubstantiated', 'solicitor' to your work as often as possible.

Definitely get copies of all their policies and procedures relating to a disciplinary process like this. Check that they are following proper procedure.

If they agree to sending references, make sure you get copies and confirmation that the new place has received them. Find an additional professional referee (eg someone you've worked for before) AND a personal referee (eg a close family friend who has standing in the community like a teacher, civil servant, police officer, doctor etc). Get them to do you references and have in reserve to offer your new employers in case there is any problem.

Can you get into your work emails and files? Try to keep copies to show that the tone of your communications is not of a bullying nature. I have to work on the assumption that you're actually not a bully!

hi yes, i had already put them as refrences on my job application (this was obviously before i knew of the allegations)...my new job offer does depend on them obtaining satisfactory references.......my teeth keep chattering at the thought of it..x

I work for a massive organisation, and all we are allowed to give is XX worked here for XXX years from XXX to XXXX. I don't think it is unusual these days to just have a skeletal reference.

If they put allegations into a reference letter (very unlikely) and you didn't get the job and it turned out to be a pack of lies.... Can you imagine how much poo they'd be in? They wouldn't risk it, really.

Another way it to look at it is that if they think you are a trouble maker, they will give you a good reference to make sure you leave! If they give you a bad reference then they would be stuck dealing with you. It's to their advantage to give you a good reference, try not to worry.

They wouldn't risk a legal case if they scuppered someone's new job on the back of 'allegations'.

You are best out of the place - have you any suspicions on what is actually going on?

Just to say no-one should EVER assume their colleagues are their friends. My husband had a bullying charge lodged against him by a junior - a young man who had previously got my husband on his own and threatened to assault him! He was incompetent to perform his role and got his job because his father was a friend of someone influential in the company. He would lie through his teeth and immaturely attempt to blame others for his mistakes. I think he was starting to panic, and thought that saying "Boo hoo! I'm being bullied!" would mean he wouldn't have to face up to his inadequacy.

DH was not suspended but had to go through the procedures, which were humiliating and distressing. HR had been taking statements from his colleagues. Judging by what they wrote I think they didn't realise DH could request copies of them - they'd been told they were confidential, but that just meant they weren't supposed to discuss them with anyone else. Anyway, he got to see what they'd said about him and was profoundly shocked. It didn't surprise me - I'm very cynical. But they were horrid, and mostly nothing to do with the issue - just an outpouring of bile.

He was very upset that some people he'd gone the extra mile to help out had been so foul. But he learned from the experience. He is hard, no longer open and helpful, and just looks out for himself. Which is a shame. But I'd advise you to be the same in future, muckylugs.

Fortunately for my husband, there were plenty of people who testified for him so the charges were dropped. But while it lasted (prolonged over the Christmas holidays) he really suffered. He was a very fit and healthy man but couldn't eat or sleep and started getting one cold after the other.

I'm very glad you're going to escape this, OP - hope you manage to extricate yourself successfully xx

I agree with TGTE - more likely to give you a glowing reference if they want you out - no employer really wants the hassle of disciplinaries if they can avoid it - you are doing them a favour by resigning. As toerhs have said, employers nowadys usually just confirm that you have been employed since x , job title y. Alos, if you resign now (sick partner etc), thy will be terrified you might bring construcutive dismissal etc so will be bending over backwards to he helpful..

thank you so much everyone for your replies...you dont know what they mean to me. after doing lots of online investigations its actually quite shocking how many people this is happening to and i think employers are so afraid of not investigating bullying claims that innocent people are being persecuted.
i'll keep you all posted about what is happening and my thoughts are with those who are going through a similar thing and my thoughts are with your husband roxyrobin, its such a shame but i now fully understand how he feels x

I work for the N.H.S. and have to agree with the above post's, NOBODY should think of their colleagues as true friends.The working industry has now become cut throat business for everyone.
Also their is millions of people out their looking for jobs and companies and managers know this.