Last week of maternity leave :-(

[sloathy]

One week left....

Please come and tell me it will all be ok and that you get used to it and that I won't miss my DS so much it will hurt and that he will love nursery and that I will feel more fulfilled and balanced and therefore be a better mum by going back to a job that I spent many many long hard years training for.

And anything else that you can think of to stop me panicking!

Thanks!

It'll be ok, just enjoy your last week! The run up to it was worse than actually starting work. I realised how much I missed adult company and actually using my brain and skills when I went back to work. And DS was completely unfazed by it. Are you going back FT?

My DS loves his nursery and never cried once when I leave him there. He is well looked after by really nice, warm and professional ladies. He is a happy, cheerful and well balanced little boy.
If you like your job, it will be great going back, you'll enjoy the banter with your colleagues and doing something for yourself.
Make sure you are organised so when you pick up your Ds, you can give him your undivided attention (mostly) or get him involved helping you doing chores (DS loves emptying the washing machine and passing me the clothes I put on the line, bless!).
You'll be fine, promise!

Thanks KnockedUpMell - just the kind of thing I need to hear!

Unfortunately I am going back FT (wanted PT but employer not keen) but am using accrued AL to take a day a week off and can review in 6 months and, fingers crossed, go PT then.

Sympathies - I felt just like that when I went back after ds1 and tbh the first few weeks were v difficult. I would cry leaving ds at nursery and felt like part of me was missing and what was i doing but it did get a lot better.

It helped that I was only doing 3 days a wk to start with and that ds settled really well at nursery. He's now 3 (and I've started ml for dc2) and absolutely loves nursery, it's been great for him and he describes his key worker as his 'best friend'.

Once I got back into work I felt like I was more 'me' again and not just ds' mummy and tbh I realised after a couple
of months that I didn't envy friends who were sahms as I realised that I enjoyed having the mix of time with ds and time at work to develop my career.

I'm looking forward to another year of ML now I must admit but will be going back again at the end of it.

My top tips would be to ensure that you allow time for ds to be settled
before you go back if you can, that you expect to find it difficult to start with and for it to take a while to get back into work especially as you'll
prob be off a lot in the first few months as your ds will
pick up all the bugs going!

Good luck

sloathy could have written your post. I got made redundant while on mat leave and am about to go back 3 days a week to a new job (but with people I know)

I'm scared, feel guilty and a bit excited to get "me" back.

It will be fine, I keep telling myself that I can barely remember anything about my childhood before I as about 5, so I'm sure DD will be more than fine.

Thanks Ladies - you're brilliant!

It's the mixed feelings I think I'm struggling with - I know deep down that I am the kind of person that needs more than being at home with DS but then I feel guilty about it. Then the control freakery comes in "no one can look after him like me" etc. But sounds like this is all normal and things will settle down into a routine which will feel as normal as the routines we've had over the last year.

I'm on my last week of ML too & am panicking about absolutely everything!

I must bookmark this page to read on my last week....I'm dreading it...

I want to go part time but losing a day loses a lot off my salary so am looking at alternate weeks at the moment but have no idea what I or work will settle on. It's eating me up on may leave and dread to think how I will feel during my last week!

Just a quick update.... first day back was fine. I tried really hard to have a positive attitude and it helped that it was sunny! I did enjoy seeing colleagues and being "myself" again and was so busy getting settled back in that I didn't dwell too much on what ds was doing.

He was quiet when i collected him but was soon giving me lots of smiles and was.his usual happy self.

It did feel odd to be "detached" from his life for the day when you're so used to seeing everything he does but on the whole it was a positive day.

Train just arriving in London so day 2 about to begin....

Thanks again for your supportive comments ladies!

Thanks for update sloathy! Good to hear you were ok and didnt meltdown! Im lucky that my job is very busy so should occupy my mind but Im pretty sure my desk will become a picture covered mess! Let us know how things go :)

You'll be fine, your child will be fine - I've returned to work FT a couple of months ago after my second maternity leave - this morning my 11 months old let out a squeal of delight almost jumping out of my arms to get to her key worker (the older one in the meantime already had run off to the pre schooler room). They love it in their nursery, but they show similar displays of joy when I pick them up in the evening, so there's clearly no need to fear they end up estranged from me.

Good to hear it went well. I'm a bit late arriving here, but just wanted to say (for anyone else in similar situation) that it really will be okay. I ruined my last few weeks of maternity leave by panicking and really shouldn't have. DS loves nursery. He kicks his legs in excitement when he gets there every morning, grins when he sees his key worker, has apparently never cried there ( not 100% sure I believe this, but he's certainly never looked sad at drop off or pick up or when I peer through windows before ringing bell) and is generally very happy. Everyone kept telling me it would be fine, but I didn't believe them. I wish I had! He also takes a bottle & eats at nursery, which he won't do here, so all good

Great to hear the 2 above views!

I've decided on childcare just need work to play ball with my proposed hours.....

I agree with above too...I'm not returning for a while but have ruined my last month worrying about all this.

Just popping in to say that this thread has made me feel better, as am going back to work on Mon and was feeling nervous about it!

Let us know how u get on Penelope!

Can I join. 5 weeks to go and dreading it. Found an amazing nanny but hate the idea of being apart from ds

Well it's been 4 days now ... being at work itself is fine, I had forgotten how much I like my job. I've had one tough day when I really missed my baby, esp as I got home a bit late and he went to bed early. But, I haven't seen a poo in 4 days (he's been going during the day) and suddenly care much less about housework and that's great, made it to the gym for the first time since I was 30 weeks pregnant as well. So, all up, I miss my baby but am happy at my job. DS is fine as well, it's just ME that gets a bit upset! So I am really glad I have gone back before the clingy phase starts.

iwant I dreaded it too at about 5 weeks to go, but make a list of the things that will be good about it and refer to it! That helped me. It is nice to be back in adult space again too.

It'll be fine. My advice:

• give yourself (and baby) a couple of months to settle into the new routine, will take a while to adjust for both of you so don't give up if it's been a bad week or two

• focus on simplifying / optimising your new routine as much as possible; so prepare stuff the evening before, have 1 or 2 alternate routes to nursery/work if at all possible - it needs to be sustainable long-term, if you're always within 3 minutes of nursery closure time it will become hugely stressful

• have backup plans for when baby gets ill from all the new nursery bugs, even if that just mean you begging off sick (and hopefully your employer will be sympathetic); and get your partner to help out too; accept that during the first six months at least this will happen, you get through it, don't give up

Thanks

Thanks culture. Why were you up so late?