In a pickle on flexible working! Help!

[LennieB]

Hi, can anyone out there give me some guidance on how I should proceed?
I'm currently on maternity leave after having my second baby. With my first child I went back to work full time after only 3 months and my partner stayed at home. This time, I'm taking a full year off. I felt it was best to talk to my employer sooner rather than later and have approached it informally, not filling in a proper statement
I first spoke to my team leader in confidence, suggesting I work 4 days instead of 5 but one of those days from home. He said I would never get working from home. I'm a Lloyds underwriter and face to face negotiation is a large part of my job. So, I asked for 3.5 days. My boss has said no on the basis that me working less does not suit the needs of the business. Really they want me full time but he agreed I could do 4 days. I then went called and suggested a compromise whereby I do 4 days but leave at 4.30 so that I can get home to collect my girls from nursery. I emphasised that I would work extra hard and gave him my word that my work wouldnt suffer. He was unimpressed and said a number of upsetting remarks. He said he didn't ask for anything when he had children etc etc also kept referring to another girl in my department who was given flexibility and abused it. All this was said over the phone. He also kept questioning me as to what i would do about late trains and pickung the girls up, as if to pick holes in my child care plans. The whole environment is very discriminatory but unfortunately I feel I should just take it as my priority is to get some flexibility and not rock any boats.
I'm now waiting for him to get back to me but I think he'll say no to my request to leave early. If he does what should I do?
Should I do a formal statement and ask that he state formal reasons for the declinature? Reading about the 8 reasons they can state, it seems it would be very easy for them to justify saying no purely because they prefer a full time employee? I also feel that I have prejudiced my position by telling my boss that we have been considering my partner quitting his job again and staying at home. I think he may use that as a reason not to let me leave early.
I'd be so gratefully for some advice. I guess I'm too honest! I feel I've approached the whole thing very badly and now don't know what to do to try to get the best result??

Hi, thank u for responding.
All the conversations we have had have been informal. Nothing has been put in writing. Now I am wondering if I should put it all in writing and do a proper flexible working application?
If I were to put something in writing I think my boss would find in threatening. I approached it verbally and informally because I thought being softer would benefit me. In retrospect I wish I'd just taken a formal approach from the start. If I do a written statement now I'm concerned he might retract his verbal agreement to give me 4 days.
I have assured my boss that I would work doubley hard to ensure my work wouldn't suffer. As what I do is service based inevitable other people in the team would have to cover my absence one day a week. If I am allowed to leave early my boss think I won't have time to get my admin done. Can I try to justify it by saying I'd work on the train? In reality I know that I can certainly do my job on 4 shorter days but it's very hard to make it sound plausible when they say that they would simply prefer a full timer that wouldn't present and problems.

Im not an expert. But I think you need to get this in writing as a proper request. Your conversations so far seem to have been about persuading the boss you will work 'extra hard' which is not the right approach at all. It implies you somehow aren't working as hard as you could be already. Also- don't talk about working on the train (sounds like an unprofessional and 'trying to catch up' arrangement).

You also mention that other members of your team would need to cover your work- but how can they do that as well as their own jobs? If you are suggesting that they can fit it in, again it implies that they aren't working to capacity now

I did a FW request (several years back) and you need to focus totally on the technical aspects - what arrangements you are asking for, how you propose this would work without the business suffering or colleagues picking up extra work. You shouldn't mention childcare at all. Focus totally on the job

HTH

Hi, thank you. Very sound advice.
Fingers crossed it goes well!

fingers crossed for you. In my experience it's very easy for employers to refuse for business reasons. Also can create bad feeling if you are leaving early to collect children when others would love to do the same and they are left covering for you.
It's so hard isn't it. (I'm going back to work in city full time when baby 6 months and have also yet to decide what to do... Last time( different company) all requests for flex working were refused including leaving at. 5 rather than 6 and I ended up having to take redundancy. Had I been offered. 4 days a week I would have jumped at it tbh!

You need to put this in writing and need to focus on why your option will benefit the business. Don't mention why it helps you, just why it helps them. Definitely don't suggest you'll work harder to compensate.

So, the advantage of you working a 4 day week is that you will be able to return to work and your expertise will not be lost to the company. (If it might be true), it might allow you to be more flexible - swapping working days when there are childcare emergencies to minimise disruption to everyone else at work. Etc, etc.

Have you considered compressed hours where you continue to work full-time hours but extend your day at one end or the other (or both) so you only work over 4 days?

I have 2 DC and work full-time. My request to work compressed hours (so I can leave earlier on Fridays without loosing my pay) was refused on the grounds that it is not acceptable because everyone then might ask for the same. A daft reason but I haven't put another request at the moment.
OP what about 4 days spread as 3 full-days and 2 half days? So you could have two afternoons to your kids?