Should we all expect to have a job we love?

[DillyTante]

I'm in a career cul de sac at the moment. In a fairly decent job, flexi time, good pension etc. but I don't love it, a lot of the time I don't even like it.

I've been in this job for 7 years now and due to having 2 babies have made little career progression. I want to do something else, I just don't know what. I don't know what I am capable of. I'm far enough out of uni that my degrees are becoming irrelevant.

I've been reading a few books and articles along the lines of the idea that you should be in a job you love (e.g. Screw Work, Let's Play), or that the way forward is the portfolio career, combining different things you love.

They increase in me a dissatisfaction with my career (my mum says it's not they books causing it, they are just mirroring it). I am pretty well educated (MSc in Cognitive Neuroscience), I did so well a school, I was always destined for Big Things, and well, it hasn't happened.

But do we have a right to be in a job we love. It's a fairly modern concept isn't it? Traditionally we have just worked to survive.

I don't want to though. I don't want to look back and wonder what I have done with my time. I just don't know how to distill what I want and then do it. There are so many things I want to do. I'd really like to do another MSc, in Occupational Psychology. But time and money are a barrier, especially with two little ones.

What do you think? Put up and shut up, be grateful I have a job? Try and figure what else I want to do?

OF COURSE you shouldn't put up and shut up!!!!! and of course you should, as you are doing, "Try and figure what else I want to do". It is not middle class and indulgent to dream. The more effort you can put into dreaming, thinking, brainstorming and evaluating ideas the happier and more fulfilling your vocational outcome will be and the better person you will be for your kids and society :-)

I have the feeling that some exciting things might be in the offing for you.

Love your blog. particularly the Rorschach cross stitch. I think that your combination of thinking things through with craft and reading and making connections will fly you into the next new chapter of your life.

Dilly, I just read your blog post. and crikey, what do you know, I am a 'scanner'.
This is exactly what I do - flit from one thing to the other - being generally good or average at everything (except woodwork LOL - that was a hobby I didn't stick with) but never great at anything.

Its the same with work. I'm good at it, but not good enough to stand out. And I don't care enough to try harder.

The problem with crafting, is that unless you find something unique to do, its all been done before, and it doesnt earn you any money. I try to make presents for my friends and family, and everyone oohs and aahs and says 'you should sell these' but then, take a look at etsy. Everyone is selling, but you have to have an awful lot of time on your hands to make a profit on it, which I dont. Nor can I be ars*d frankly - I'm quite happy to do one-offs now and again, but not a production line.

sorry, I shall not let this progress into a long whinge.

oh and I looove your brain embroidery!!!

I counsel a lot of students and early career professionals in my job, including people who have got BAs, MAs and PhDs and come out the other side and got their first academic job...and discover it's not quite what they want.

The first thing to identify is what you really, really like doing - what your vocation is. The second thing to identify is what kinds of things you find OK, can do OK and can put up with in order to facilitate what you really like doing. And then there are financial issues which are not to be taken lightly - you and your family need to survive.

For some people, the answer is to have a job that squares as much as it possibly can with their vocation, and put up with the "meh" stuff because it facilitates their vocation. I have found that job - but in fact it's mainly to do with the institution in which I am working, whose working practices facilitate more of the stuff I like and am good at (teaching and research). In my previous job - technically identical but in a different place - I spent so much time doing stuff I hated on top of a full load of the other stuff that I would have gone to ANY job to get out. I was just lucky to find another job in the sector at a much more favourale institution.

For other people, the answer is to have a not-too-time-consuming job that is mostly "meh" but which serves to a) facilitate an exceptionally rewarding hobby that acts as their vocation and b) pays the bills. I have just advised a junior colleague who is not sure that being an academic is what she wants to do that she should concentrate on what she really would love to do and is really good at - writing books and articles for a more popular market - and find a stable, fairlly mindless job in something she can tolerate in order to pay the bills while she establishes her career.

Both of these options are fine and realistic choices, and you have to decide which of these you want.

There's a third possibility too. Some people are just always going to be slightly dissatisfied whatever it is they do, and you also need to recognise if you are one of those people and learn to work through episodes of itchy feet.

What is not OK is a stressful, time-consuming job that leaves you no time for your vocation. If this is what you are talking about, you DO need to think about changing careers. But take your time and think very, very carefully about what it is you really want before jumping ship.

good post don

I just want to thank you all for your helpful comments.
"There's a third possibility too. Some people are just always going to be slightly dissatisfied whatever it is they do, and you also need to recognise if you are one of those people and learn to work through episodes of itchy feet." Don this is an especially good point. I suspect I might fall into this category.

I've been reading a good book since I started this thread, which is more realistic. I blogged about it here, sorry, not sure if it is bad form linking again, feel free to ignore it, but I mentioned the thread on here (I even quoted you scottishmummy :)) so I just wanted to share it with you.

I hate my job, but it fits in with family life

I know a lot of people in this position

when you have kids and no family support, somethings got to give

usually its the lowest paid job, usually the women's

thats life, its not forever

not everyone has a career, not everyone has a fabby job with great money/perks

lots of people work to live and life comes first

There's some great advice here, but I'm surprised and slightly saddened that so many of us are disheartened with our careers. Is it because we have too much choice?

I remember having this discussion with my mum when I was feeling guilty about returning to work after having my first baby. She pointed out that I was lucky to have the choice. In her day, she left a dreary job to have babies but didn't have the choice to return. She had no career, no qualifications and had never been encouraged to get any. At least my qualifications and career choices up to that point gave me the ability to choose. My mum had no choice but to stay at home with 2 young children and feel bored, frustrated and resentful.

I don't think you should put up and shut up either, but I guess I'm just wondering why so many people I know feel the same way as you (and me). Has our education set us up for an idealistic view of future work life? Is it because there's so much emphasis on career satisfaction?

What would really make us happy? Feel fulfilled? Maybe we really need to figure that out first (doh, stating the bleeding obvious).

(sorry, I've posed more questions there instead of suggesting answers )

Dilly, I came across this paper the other day, thought you might find it interesting. A bit simplistic, but some interesting ideas.

If you wanted to do some more reading, I'd recommend Peter Warr's The Joy of Work?, he's an occ psych professor, and its based on lots of research but also readable.

I'm thinking about these questions as well. The problem is that a job that seems great in principle isn't always as great in practice, especially a couple of years in. It's making me hesitate about going hell-for-leather for things I think I'd like to do.

My main problem jobwise is geography. I followed a chain of interesting jobs by going where the work was, but for family reasons I can't do that any more. My last "interesting" job (which I was glad to leave by the end) left me pretty much stuck a place that is lovely to live in, but doesn't have much going on in terms of the work I'd like to do.

Should we all expect to have a job we love? Of course not. Should we try and have a job we love? Yes.

Sorry to bump such an old post, but just wanted to say thanks to ApuskiMcClusky for linking to that paper. It was really interesting. I referenced it in a blog post that I wrote trying to distil my thoughts on the issue.

I read in the Metro paper today that only 15 per cent of people end up with the job they really want