It's me again, positive stories about 1.5 hr commute please!

[Gogglemint]

Many many MANY parents commute from our area (Cambridge), so I know it is do-able, but the thought of leaving the house at 4.30am so that I can leave the office at 4pm, to get home for 5.30pm/6pm if I were to be allowed flexi-hours is soul destroying! If I am not allowed flexi and so work the core hours I will be leaving the house at 7am to arrive home for 8pm. And this is for an admin job (but will open doors for the job I want).

I feel so sad. And tired just at the thought of doing it. Is the reality ok, or even worse? I feel like a mad woman, and just want to hug dd tight and tell her I will never work until she is at uni!

If you leave at 4.30am, what time do you start work - 6am? I do a 4 hour round trip - getting up at 5.30, leaving the house 6.15am getting to work 8.15 for an 8.30 start and finishing at 4.30pm. I take 30 mins for lunch and am back at 6.30pm for bed and bath. However I do this 4 days a week and it's fine, I usually nod off on the train each way so it's not too tiring - or will you be driving? However I am now expecting DC2 so I think the early starts will take their toll as the pregnancy progresses.

Gogglemint, I am being completely honest when I say that for me the thought was worse than the reality. I am in my second week back at work and the commute is the best part of it! (similar to yours, not quite as far) You can read and have coffee on the train, you probably will get 2 or 4 brisk walks in a day, and for me those things have been hugely beneficial to my mental health. I miss my kids, and nothing helps that; but tbh I was knackered before anyway and never got any time to myself.
I know it's not easy going back to work, but trust me, you might even enjoy the commute.
When are you talking about? soon, or a few weeks? you might not be ready now but things can change a lot in a very short time. I couldn't even walk properly 6 weeks ago and now I am a power-walker.

are you in the car, or on public transport?
when i was in London, I commuted for an hour, which i chose to think of as "me time" I had a 20minute brisk walk to pick up a direct bus. I used to sling my trainers and ipod on, and found it quite invigorating. then a nice sit-down with a book when i got on the bus. I was much fitter and thinner then.

although the thought of driving that distance everyday is not as appealing, i guess you could get some audiobooks or podcasts?

Thank goodness there are positive stories! I'll be going back in 6 weeks time! I've got a fold up bike, as we live 5 miles from the station, so will cycle to the station and then cycle in to the office, so great for the waistline.

The me time does sound rather good actually, and I will defo nod off!

The core hours are 9-6, but I'm hoping that a few days a week I can start at 7 and leave at 4 so that I can see dd. She is used to being in late stay, but I have always picked her up, so that will be the big change, thank goodness we are not trying to implement late stay too! I would need to be up at 4.30am, as the train goes at 5.20 (that sounds SO early!).

Thank you both for being positive, I hope I don't suddenly age really rapidly!!

Sorry, am on the train. I don't think I could contemplate doing that in the car, I would be far too tired to drive safely!

It will be great with your bike - you will avoid the tube and that is the horrible part. Don't worry!

I've been doing a 90 minute commute each way, making my working day 12 hours long, for about 15 years now. I used to use the train/bus but since having kids I drive. You'll probably find it hard going for the first few months but then you'll settle into a routine. Think of all that me time to read books and stare out of the window. Can't do that in a car. Well, I do stare out of the window, obviously, but not in the same way. :o

Goggle - I posted on your other thread and, after I posted, realised I hadn't said how great a long commute can be. Its my "me" time. The first couple of weeks were hellish but I now do it automatically & love having time to read the paper or my book or just gaze out of the window. I keep toying with the idea of getting an iPad but worry that I'd spend even more time on MN! Obviously the commute sometimes goes wrong because the train breaks down or something but, touch wood, that's pretty rare and, if it does happen, its out of my control so I just do what I can to get to work as soon as possible.
Where will you be working? Will you have to get the tube as well as the train? If so, you'll want to work out which carriages are best for you but, once you've worked that out, you'll just stand in the same place automatically each day anyway.
I'm quite envious of you being able to cycle to the station as that's your exercise dealt with. Perfect!
It sounds as though its all coming together for you. I hope you do get the job - and persuade DH that you do need a cleaner!

The more children you have, the more you will enjoy a long train journey. I did a 1.5hr+ commute for the last 8 years, and have recently moved much closer to work (for unrelated reasons) and rather miss my commute time! Tried a folding bike for a while but in the end preferred to continue my reading / relax time on the tube. I also found travelling in and out of London much smoother and less stressful at the start of the rushhour, as delays and related problems tend to accumulate later on when it's busier.

Am so glad these stories are so positive, I so hope that I get the job now! I am so excited! I can always go in early every morning anyway, and sneak a few hours' study in before work. It beats trying to do it when I'm shattered in the evening, and dh (understandably!) wants to spend some time with me.

Am so glad the interview is Tuesday and not Friday, I don't think that I could wait that long!!! .

Another good story here. I did a 90 minute commute ( was only really 75 mins but used to allow 90 for rubbish trains ) for 18 months.. Used to be up at 5.45 and was out of the house at 6 to get to work by 7.30, and then did the same in reverse, leaving work at 4.30 to arrive before nursery shut at 6pm. It was fine - I used to take breakfast with me, and had a Blackberry so could work on the train if I needed to. Occasionally I needed to work in the evenings after DS went to bed, but work were pretty ok with my arrangement. I found the time in the mornings before others arrived really productive- much more so than when I used to stay late at night. The trains were also less busy so I could have some "me" time or collect my thoughts for the working day ahead in relative peace.

DP worked until late then so I had DS to myself for the 90 minutes between pick up and bed time and made the most of it- doesn't seem long but it was a lovely time of the day doing bath and stories.

Good luck - I'm going back to work next week after DC2. WE have now emigrated and my commute will be 15 minutes by car, I think I'll miss those train journeys! Cycling to station good too- I used to do it sometimes and it really woke me up and got my brain working.

DP has around a 90m commute each way, he usually leaves home at 7 and gets home around 6:30.

I have a 5m commute, 20 if I do the nursery drop off. TBH I am often quite jealous of the time DP get to himself. I'd love a couple of hours a day to exercise (his incorporates a walk), listen to music and read.

Would you be able to use some of the time on the train to do home admin type stuff - bills, Internet shopping, family/friend's phone calls?

Yours sounds ghastly due to timing, but it sounds like you're well prepared to take advantage.

Hurrah! I must admit, have spent the past 3 months stocking up on things I had slowly run out of, it is costing me a fortune! I had no suits, shirts, handbags, coats or shoes (have been living in jeans and trainers with rucksacks!). All my good make up has run out, so am trying to get hold of stuff by Tuesday that covers my spot scars etc (Mumsnet is a nightmare for that, I have again spent a small fortune!).

The only other worry is how do I get ready in the morning without waking dh? He is such a light sleeper, but I don't really want to get ready on the landing as I have done previously when doing odd weeks in London, as I don't feel ready for the day IYSWIM.

I used to lay out all my clothes in the living room the night before including accesories -would have v quick shower then put clothes on and leave to avoid waking DP and DS up. I also cut hair short to make the maintenance a bit less ( this might be a bit drastic, but my hair is a frizzy mess when long unless blow dried every flipping morning - am contemplating a permanent blow dry this time around but horrified by cost). I used to check myself in station loos to make sure I was presentable!

I'm also looking forward to wearing clothes not made of eezy care fabrics. My new boss was keen to point out to me during the interview that they are ok with casual dress- like I'd think this was a good thing

Gogglemint, I do a 90 min commute each way to London from Northants 5 days a week. I've been doing it for a year and it does get easier. You will need to put your head down and just get through the first few weeks, but it will be fine. The other thing you will find out is just how many others do it.

I do a 60 mile commute by car from South Manchester to Leeds. I leave at 6.15am 6.25am if I hit snooze, get to work by about 7.45/8am. I officially start at 8.30am, have half an hour for lunch and leave at 4pm. I am then a nervous wreck wondering whether I'll get to after school collection by the required 5.30pm and nursery by 6pm. I do work in the evenings sometimes to catch up and always work late on a Friday (my DH does the childcare).

I've been doing it for 10 years now, so I'm used to it, although I do enjoy it more post-babies. The getting out of bed part is slightly harder these days (think I'm constantly tired) but an hour and a half or so of the radio / CD playing without anyone demanding to play I spy or squabbling in the back??! Bliss!!

I have a bath at night before bed and lay all my clothes out downstairs. I literally get up, have a wash in the downstairs loo, get dressed, make a coffee and go. Its about a 10 minute routine from the alarm going off to setting off. I then have my emergency drawer at work - straightners, accessories, make up etc. I also have breakfast at work.

Well, if I get to the next round of interviews I need to be in for 8am, so that will put me to the test! The interview seemed to go really well, but have heard nothing, so maybe it didn't. There are more out there, and some might even come without a commute.

It is so good to know that it is do-able though. I am so excited about having some me time before seeing the family so that I don't feel constantly frazzled!

I admire all of you and feel rather humbled! I drive 60 mins each way, but only twice per week! I also do another 8 hours per week at home. Can I just ask, do you all have a DH/DP at home to cover your early departures? My DH is abroad much of the time so I have to juggle DS and the dog (who luckily comes to work with me) and really don't think I could do my commute more than 2 days per week.

Yes, on the days that I leave early, DH sorts the children out. I sort everything at night - clothes, school bags, anything they need for school / nursery, but he gets them up, gives them breakfast and takes them to school / nursery. As you say, its not possible without having someone else to do that. He's not usually home before bedtime most nights though to make up for it!

Dh is going to have to do getting dd up and putting her to bed. School is on his commute route though (he is 5 mins from the school gates) so he doesn't have to go out of his way. He is not happy though! And he is going to have to cover one weekend a month too.

I have done 8 years of it up until now; 4 years as a SAHM studying part time, then 4 years studying full time juggling around school pick ups as dh didn't think that she should be at after school club too often, so don't feel too guilty. I've got down to the last 4, I am really excited. I've got to be leaving the house at 5.20am on Monday, and we're away all weekend a wedding until LATE on Sunday evening, lets see how it goes!!

I concur with the other! I was absolutely frazzled when I went back to work (DTs were 12 month then) and within a few weeks I felt so much better. It is an absolute break to not be responsible for little people for hours at a time!

I commute 2 hours each way, by car, train, tube and bus! It's a pain to be honest - I'd rather spend the hours at home or at work than travelling. But I think part of the frustration is the many changes - if it was one train for 2 hours that'd be preferable.

If your employers are open to flexible hours, you could consider some long days and some short. I work a couple of long days where I leave before the babies get up and return when they're in bed, but that gives me a couple of days where I can collect them a bit early and do tea - play - bed with them. If I worked the same hours each day, I would get a short time every night, which doesn't feel as good as a reasonable amount of time a few days each week.

Good luck! And I agree 5.20 train is early!

It's a 6am train, but I want to get out at 5.20 just to make sure I'm in time to get my ticket, as it's a 30 min cycle (it is rather pleasant cycling at 5.30 am though, it is so fresh and lovely, the cows are just up and the world is SO peaceful! Don't think I would do it out of choice though!). A season ticket will give me the super precious extra 5 mins in bed though!

Happy-that is a huge commute, you poor thing! I think the extra drive and bus would break the camel's back! All the stress and expense of parking at the station would be a killer!! We have talked about moving to one of the villages around here, but it has been pooh-poohed soley on the driving to the station factor!

I think you are fabulous! Flexi may be an option on occasion, but as it's a legal job it can be very unpredictable, so I just need to take it when I can, which is probably the same for everyone in London anyway. DD is getting older now, so hopefully can manage to stay awake until I get home, and then I can smother her kisses. It also gives me the chance to make up our next story instalment on the train on the way home.

I am so excited! I set my alarm to see if I could get up for 5.30am and totally failed, argh! I have more impetus on Monday though.

Google,
I work full time and do similar to what you do but no quite so early.

Get up 5.20 leave at 6 to drive to my project site or 5.40 if Im going to london office by train. I shower at night, get everything ready at night so I can turn around at be out of the door in 20 max. No other way to do it. Find tiny ways to shave 5mins off here and there to give more rest. For a while I used to have make up at work and put it on there to save time at home.

I leave at 4pm and collect my DC. My DH does the morning stint. It works for us. We started off trying to vary who did what on different days but it gets confusing for everyone.

I do similar length of commute. Its more than doable if its what you are used to.All I'd say is you need to find a way to manage the tiredness. Its hard and I dont want to dress it up. The accumluation of tiredness is like nothing else . You will need to ensure you can get a lie of some sorts once a week. Even til 8am is a super lie in for me!.

Good luck

Well, I made it to the interview in perfect time, but I don't think I'll get the job. There were a number of concerns that I found it hard to smooth over (the commute being one), but I gave it my best shot. At least they make the decisions this week (and the getting dressed in the kitchen was rather novel and fun!)