Suspension from work - part 2

[applecrumbleandcream]

Thanks everyone, just catching up. Not feeling too good today. A bit grim. Not feeling strong at all but emotional and very sad. Been to the doctors again and just broke down completely, he wants to sign me off but I told him that I just want to get all this over with. He has wrote me a statement whilst I was there blubbering for me to send to the Investigator to say that I am not currently well enough to complete this work. I even had the doctor crying and saying he despairs that employers are doing this. I told him I have got no confidence in the unison rep. I spoke to him this morning to ask his advice about filling in this statement when it doesn't list my computer and what should I do, he was very sharp said if I don't do as I am asked then it is going to go to a Hearing and then said he was in a meeting and just cut me off!!!

My dad has said he will get me the best lawyer there is and forget about Unison, just wondering what to do about this. Have to go back to doctors again next Thursday. He is compiling a proper medical statement for me.

I'm sorry if none of this makes sense, but I can't think straight at the moment.

Hope you hear good news soon!

Lurking for news. When is the investigating officer back from his holidays?

Hi Apple, just sending {hugs} your way. Hope you are ok.

Hi everyone, thanks for sticking with me and all your kind messages!!!

Still had no news and it is awful, I really don't know how they can treat anyone like this. How people could be left in this situation for months is shocking. Investigator was back last week so thought might have heard something this week, although if they have read my response that will probably need investigating!! You never know they might have another Investigation Meeting and we could be going round in circles for months on end!! Sorry, feeling that as it's dragging on it's not going to be good news. Had a card from someone from work which was very thoughtful saying 'don't worry, I'm sure you'll be back soon', but I've got no trust in anyone now, I'm not sure I want to go back now anyway. Back to the GP next Thursday for more tablets, didn't want to but if it drags on will have to talk to him about being signed off. This terrible situation is affecting every part of my life, feeling so low. No jobs worth feeling like this

So pleased to hear from you apple. I am so sorry that this is still dragging on for you, I know how low it is making you feel, just remember you have a whole team of MNrs right behind you!

It's so awful, so unnecessary and so totally mishandled

Hi Apple
Been in your position for 7 months now.
You are not alone.
Use your friends and family for support which I have done.
I have my ups and downs, but my down has never been as low as the day I was suspended. After that I had to get stronger to support my case using very clever DH, union and other professional services for which I have paid for to support my case.
I am now waiting--and waiting.
Walk a friends dog every day Monday to Friday which has kept me sane and meeting other people and gets me out. He (the dog) as well as another dog owning friend have been my saviours in this situation that I could never have imagined myself in, in my worst nightmare.
Stay Strong!

Yes Apple please stay strong - stay strong for your Mnet Apple supporters - and you Bearcat. You will both come out of this stronger.

But if you need us just rant!

Bearcat waiting for 7 months!! That is truly terrible and heartbreaking.
What outcome do you want after all that time? Have you ever thought about being signed off sick by your GP? You sound as though you have made a positive structure to your day.

I've not heard anything from Unison rep, and he has never asked for my phone number or mobile number, he only knows my email address and it has all been on me to keep contacting him. It's as though I don't exist. No calls to say 'look, we're going to do this, this and this', this is the plan' etc etc. It's not on really. Part of me thinks would he be treating a middle aged man who works in planning or something like this?? I don't know, perhaps I'm over thinking things!!

Apple
I'm a lurker - watching the thread and wishing you well. Just feeling for you and how despondent you must feel. But don't let the buggers get you down! They're the ones with the explaining to do. You have done nothing wrong. Hold your head high and take the time to do stuff you don't normally get chance to do.
Hope this gets resolved really soon for you.

Thanks aj and everyone, it's great to know there is support for me, Bearcat and everyone else in a similar situation. I've not really done much this week, been full of a cold so just been stuck in the house. DH been taking dd to school and dad been picking her up, but tomorrow I am determined to get out for some fresh air and buck myself up!!! I must take a leaf out of Bearcat's book and do something!!!

Apple have posted before on your original post.
No, have never been to GP since suspension. Didn't really know what to say. All seemed so embarrassing to start with. Who would have believed it, me, Bearcat, in this situation?
It's bad enough explaining to 3 neighbours what has happened to me, let alone some GP who I probably don't even know from Adam, who can probably only prescribe some sort of drugs, and really I don't need that.
Luckily other neighbours have never asked why I am always around, and now I would just probably mumble something about economic climate.
I am a bit older than you Apple and relatively financially stable, and that is a great comfort to me and gives me strength.
DH in particular is ready, willing, clever and bloody minded enough to take this all the way to tribunal if needs be.
Have been waiting for some communication from work since Mid January. So much for disciplinary manager keeping me informed!!!!!

Re the union question, probably yes have to say I've never met a union rep I was impressed by.

Keep your spurts up as much as you can.

My friend went through a similar thing, she didn't want to go back just for her name to be cleared. She found a better job and is now much happier.

Thinking of u can't imagine what u must be going through!!
It must b awful to firstly not know what is going on
To not understand what u r being accused of
Not surprised that u don't want to go back
The whole situation is awful
Thinking of u xxxx

Apple - can't believe this is STILL going on - don't your employers have budgets? Don't they have to justify paying people who aren't at work?!?!

Have you seen a solicitor / senior union rep / union-funded legal person yet? I think by now it is really overdue. Has your crap rep been in touch with you at all? He sounds shite. Bin the fucker. Now. And have a tonight from me

Good luck with it all. I check this thread daily to see how you are btw

Hello - note that if they drop investigation remind them that suspension without grounds is a stigma - when they hope you will go away with a flower or something else patronising..

It is a rollercoaster emotionally this stuff - try hard to remember the positive insights more (write them down) and hang on to them during the negative bits - some of the negative bits will be a kind of grief about not having to do anything work-y each day (like retired people get) so don't worry too much about them, but do tell your GP as it is an effect, no matter how normal, of your treatment by employer.

Don't draw conclusions from time - usually it is just uselessness - or lack of respect rather than any indication, instead use the time to think about and rehearse strategy..

Keep on keeping on! :)

Hi, I'm new here but has been 13 weeks for me. I know exactly how you feel and how hard it is. I think what is hardest is the feeling of loneliness. Doesn't matter how much I do, who I speak too, whom visits they have no idea what this is doing to me, so the over-riding emotion is loneliness. I hope you are coping, that's all you can do is cope x

Hi Apple, any developments? Hope you are managing to relax a bit.

I have also been in this situation TWICE within a year (think it could be personnel between manager and myself him not liking me) out of my work for 5 months on each occasion to be found not guilty at the end of both accusations, keep strong as you are Innocent until proven guilty.

Oh apple you poor sweetheart, your Dad sounds lovely. Hope you're ok xx

Hi apple, hope this new week brings you news of an end to this terrible situation. How are you doing? Hope you had a good weekend.

Hoping, like calamityboo, that you had a good weekend, how are you now?

Hi Apple. I have been thinking of you and following this thread. I really hope you have had some news since last time you posted. I am disgusted at how this is being dragged out.

I hope your cold is easing and you able to get out and about a bit more.

Hi everyone and thanks for thinking about me. Nothing to report I'm afraid. Still in limbo. It will be 6 weeks on wednesday since l was suspended, feels like an eternity and I've aged 10 years in that time. What the hell can they be doing? Feel like going to the local paper and Councillor to tell them this is what they are wasting tax payers money on!!

Hope all those in similar situations hear something soon...

Smurkle, you are spot on, the loneliness and isolation of coping with the situation is the worst thing about all this. It is like a pain in your chest that doesn't go away, it's there first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Psychologically I am broken, my health is suffering, my relationship with DH is suffering, I'm a nervous wreck!!! Somedays I just feel like getting in my car and just driving far far away and never coming back!!!