New job - pregnant

[Anaisa]

This is my first post and I am not sure where to start :-)

We have a 3.5 year old and have been trying for a second baby for almost two years with no luck. It was starting to get me down so much that I decided I needed change in my life.

Last month I was offered my dream job, went to hand in my notice, my company made me a counter offer, upping the salary and reducing the hours. The new company didn't want to lose me so offered me more money and agreed to wait for 2 months. As a result I ended up with a revised offer of +8k over what I am on now and -5hrs a week.

I was jumping up and down with joy as we've been struggling for a while. Extra money would mean a lot. After I accepted the new job we decided to hold off trying for about 6 months or so. And guess what? Yes, we must have had unprotected sex once before I accepted and yes, I am pregnant :-).

I am so happy, but at the same time the timing makes me want to cry. I don't start the new job for another 7 weeks, by that stage I will be 11 weeks. What do I do? Tell the new company now or wait until after I start? Losing the SMP is bad enough, but I am now terrified they will get rid of me when they find out that I am pregnant. I know they cant legally use that excuse, but I am sure one can always come up with a different reason... Having no job to go back to would really be a disaster.

Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,
Katie

Firstly there is no reason to tell them until you start, most people wouldn't tell their employer until 12-13 weeks so it wouldn't be a natural thing to do.

You probably won't get the companies maternity pay but you'd get SMP or MP dependent on your situation. Looks like you've got some time to save though.

You would be protected in your new role against maternity/pregnancy discrimination so you should get to return to the role afterwards. Best course of action is to be open with them about your intentions and discuss well in advance what your plans are in terms of your own and your professional plans.

Good luck and yeay!

I was in a similar situation last year. I was made redundant from my old job and had to search for a new one. A few days before interview I found out I was pregnant. I was successful at the interview.

Due to CRB delays, I ended up not starting the job until I was 17 weeks pregnant - I really didn't want to ring up before I'd started the job and announce I was pregnant, nor did I want to raise it on the first day. I somehow got to 21 weeks before I told my line manager!

Ultimately, though, there's nothing you or they can do about it - your role is protected. I went in, did the best I could for the few months I was there, and went off again.

Thank you very much for your replies.

I just feel so bad that I made them offer me more money and asked to wait and now this... I believe the first 3 months are probationary, so I'm worried they will come up with any excuse to get rid of me. Financially it really would be a disaster and I would really hate to lose this job as it seems a great company to work for.

Westcountrylovescheese - thanks for this. You are right, it's too early to talk to them now. I need to see the ultrasound first to make sure it's not just my imagination and faulty pregnancy tests :-)

MimsyBorogroves - thanks for sharing your experience. How did they take it? Did this make things awkward for you after you told them?

I had this problem too.. I was pregnant when I started my job. I had just relocated to a new area and needed to work.. I told them when I was 21 weeks.. They were absolutely fine.. You have so much protection with this sort of thing. I'd try and get your probation (if you have one) out of the way before telling them just incase

Newtothisstuff - I think there is a 3 months probation. I wish waiting for this long was an option, but by that stage I will be about 6 months pregnant. In my last pregnancy I started showing at 12 weeks and was huge at 6 months so unfortunately it looks like I am going to have to pluck up the courage and tell them a few weeks after I start.

I told one of the directors in my current company that I was pregnant and he immediately said they'd be happy to have me if I wanted to change my mind and stay. What do I do now? Protect myself and talk to the new employer now, giving them the option to withdraw their offer? Or just go with the original plan, start the new job and tell them then?

I really want the new job, but I am terrified I'll end up with nothing. The easier option would be to just stay where I am and enjoy the pregnancy, but an easy option is not always the best one. I am so confused

You can't "give them the option to withdraw their offer" because if they were to take you up on that and withdraw an offer of employment because of your pregnancy that would be illegal discrimination .

You say you think they seem a great company to work for, which presumably means the chances of them discriminating and finding an excuse to sack you as a result of your pregnancy is less likely?

If you were the person for the job now, you will be in a years time

Flowery - I thought about that too, I just feel bad about not giving them a choice. They seem to look after their employees, I work in a small company now and get my salary + study support. The new company is a much larger set up and offer their employees flexible hours, study support, travel insurance, health insurance and even gym at work :-). If I was asking for my ideal package, I probably wouldn't have the nerve to ask for so much.

StealthPolarBear - you are absolutely right and I have no doubt I am right for the job. It's quite specialised and requires experience, but also foreign language skills which I have. I guess I just hate the fact that I am in effect taking away their opportunity to employ a person who will actually do the job and not go off for half a year after 5-6 months of joining.

The new company look much better for the long term. I would still go for it with them, if you have your previous employer as back up. If they are in any way decent it should not impact on your position.

Have you checked your maternity pay situation with both? Is there a huge difference.

Sooty - unfortunately the current employer is only prepared to be a backup for the next couple of days as they are interviewing for my position. In terms of maternity package I'm not sure, the current employer doesnt t do anything over and above the basic smp, with the new one I won't be entitled to much as I am starting the job pregnant. I was wondering about this too, but can't really ask the question without telling them. I am confident i want to move on and take the new job. I guess I'll just keep my fingers crossed and hope I'll be able to make enough of an impression in my first couple of weeks with them before I hit them with the news.

Hopefully the new company will be fair and square. Difficult though. I would feel funny about it too and would probably just tell people you were told you couldn't have any more or something similar! It shouldn't be this way really though.

I'm a SAHM and I just saw a fabulous part time job in my field, but I'm 8 weeks pregnant so I just feel it would be wrong to even apply! Stupid I know if I got the job they can't discriminate but I'd bet they'd be annoyed.

Despite legislation, I think some businesses (bosses) are genuinely family friendly and others are pretty barbaric and really don't want the hassle of maternity leave. It's just luck what type you end up working for.

Sooty - I can only hope they will be ok about it. In a way I wish I could talk to them now, at least I would know one way or another and that would give them a choice rather than lead them into taking me on blind. But at the same time the pregnancy doesn't even feel real yet, I have no symptoms and the scan is a long way away, so it is way to early to tell.

I;m the same as you, I so understand you not wanting to apply. Saying this - in your situation I think I would apply and tell them about the pregnancy was I to get an interview. You might not get the job, but interview experience is important too. At least you would feel that you went for it and gave it your best shot. And I've read some stories where women were offered jobs whilst pregnant. They can't be annoyed if you tell them.

Thanks for your advice and good luck to us both! :-)

Just an update really - I finally started my new job, waited for about 2 full weeks and told my department manager. She was very sympathetic and said it was not ideal but we would work through it. All in all I am hugely relieved, I still have about 4 months to go, or maybe even a couple of weeks longer, hopefully that will be enough for me to show that I am a good employee. Good luck to anyone who is in the same situation, stay positive, I am sure things will work out for you too!!!