To be devastated on being informed I'm being 'investigated'?

[PreviouslyonLost]

Was going to namechange for this but too upset and agitated to concentrate on the minutiae of MN details

I am a Social Worker. A number of weeks ago I reported a child protection concern as soon as I became aware of it. The information was a number of days old from the child's 'carer'. The information also involved other siblings.

Action was taken to protect a resident sibling. The other siblings are not in the care of the parents and another senior professional who has overall responsibility for the care of the other siblings informed me that they had visited the 'carers' and was satisfied that nothing further than action already taken would result (Resident child removed, supervised access and contact for other siblings, as had already been instigated by myself prior to allegation due to 'gut' instinct and historical knowledge).

I am now informed that I am under investigation (presumably for the supposed time delay in passing on the initial information) and was informed that I would now be 'non-operational' during the investigation and expected to work in a location >72 miles (one way) on a DAILY basis until the investigation is complete.

I advised that due to having two small children, and my Husband's work pattern, he works away from home for weeks at a time, this would not be possible - after some telephone calls manager 'offered' me alternative of a location >50 miles away (again, one way, on a daily basis). If I go off 'sick' investigation will not go forward, however I am aghast that I will be expected to sit and twiddle my thumbs, amidst colleagues from a previous job who will all be 'curious' as to why I am there. The person carrying out the 'investigation' is now on Annual Leave and will not return for two weeks, therefore I will languish in an old workplace, subject to enquiries, gossip, and speculation until such time as 'investigation' is commenced/completed.

My question is...once I have (finally) been interviewed, if I go off sick then, would the investigation continue (I expect to be completely exonerated, but am horrified at what I'm being expected to undergo in the meantime). Any advice gratefully received.

Many thanks.

Hello, taking a break from worrying by having a jaunt around MN...actually there's no break from it all, knot in stomach pretty much constantly present. AND, STILL no b**y letter! Even had a note on the door asking postie to sign and date any mail delivered to prove that I haven't had any written confirmation.

zipzap No other office closer, @100 miles (round trip) a day office the closest - though what exactly I'll be doing while there is anyone's guess. Better take a good book?

Selks Union Rep has been amazing, so helpful, very relieved that they are involved. Intend to take a break from worrying tomorrow by having a long walk and lots of fresh air. I'm rather ashamed that this has happened so only DH is aware, he's there for me, would hate to worry family/friends - quite a lot happening in their lives too.

Just aggrieved that the Bosses can even think that I could be told to my face! that a child/ren were being abused (not sexually) and (supposedly) I made NO response at all?! Impossible, truly impossible.

Grateful thanks for the support, you're keeping me on the right side of sanity at the moment.

Glad to be of help.

Do try not to 'internalise' this though - you have nothing to be ashamed of; you've done nothing wrong. I'm glad that your DH is being a support.

Have a good walk tomorrow.

Just an update for my own sanity...can only truly say on here what my heart and mind are screaming.

The letter finally arrived yesterday (signed by postie, bless their cotton socks). Only managed a glazed look over it, trying not to 'internalise' the bullshit as Selks advised. It was actually only dated the day before delivery, so what happened to the probably recorded delivery (as I was told by the Union Rep) that should have arrived more then 5/6 days ago? So much for procedures, eh?

Gah, flat as a pancake. My poor husband and children.

Hi Previously, have typed out two messages and then deleted them for fear of outing myself. I am in a similar position in that I am in a nightmarish limbo which has had massive repurcussions on my health. I am not, however, subject to an investigation which must seem unendurable on occasions. But you will endure it and you will come out the other side. May I say that I vastly admire the work you and your colleagues do? If you have held down that role for 22(?) years, you are a great person. As other people have said don't internalize (says she internalizing almost constantly), you followed correct procedure, that must be documented on case notes/e mails etc. I am sure you will be exonerated. I read your last post and I so felt for you. Keep posting. Loads of people listening. People care.

Thank you marmiteonmykeyboard for a very touching post. Whatever you are going through sounds awful, I'm sorry to hear that it is affecting your health (can't say that my own mental health is bearing up particularly well at the moment either).

I find the wait to be able to say my piece is pretty cruel, so I've been in my bed for past two days (like I said, my poor husband and children). Haven't got dressed, haven't been outside the house, and despite my best efforts, I'm internalising at warp speed

Not a word (either by mobile/FB) from colleagues, most of whom are in regular touch usually - presuming they've been told not to speak to me at all. It ALL sucks big time. Thank you to MN and the chance to vent, weep, and wail, even if I have to hold it together'ish in RL.

Hi Previously, thanks for your response. I was a bit worried my post was a bit "me,me,me" so I am delighted if it was of comfort. I admit I had never been on Mumsnet til my work place problem occurred. It's been of great use. It's a double whammy isn't it - the limbo and the "reticence" of former (and will be again) colleagues? Your colleagues may fear contacting you because they feel impotent to help. Their silence is not a judgement on you. Though it will feel like that. I thought an investigation had prescribed time limits. Have you got an inkling of a end date? Please do something for yourself tomorrow (not for me, not for your husband or children) GET UP at your normal time, get a cup of tea/coffee on and act as "normal" as you can. RL is a great displacement activity! You have been hit very hard and you will feel like rubbish. That's a normal response to a horrible event. But do not give up hope. Ever. You will know all about resilience.People here are rooting for you. And you are a great wife,mum and social worker. No one can take that away from you. You have a lot to be proud of. Sorry for what must read like a load of platitudes. Believe me, I know how you feel. Keep venting,weeping,wailing and gnashing of teeth.x

marmiteonmykeyboard Even more very wise words from you - they all resonated with me, thank you. I know you are keen not to be 'outed', but has your situation been going on for long?

I feel trapped in the middle of poor me and you B*s, sad, then enraged, and back again, at the situation. (Though if I were to write down everything that is rushing through my mind you would get the 'venting, weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth' to the nth degree).

My colleagues will have been told not to contact me, standard procedure I suppose - I'd like to think that if the situation was reversed, I'd send an email/text just to say 'thinking of you'? But then again, who knows what they know? I don't know that much at this stage.

Your words have meant a great deal - you may never know just how much.
(though I appreciate that you understand, having sought out support from MN at a particular point in your own life).

Many, many thanks.

Hi Previously, are you up? (nag,nag) Hope the day is going well for you and your family. I'm going to be a bit vague and say my situation has gone on for about five months. Don't panic.There are complicating factors not least my health. It won't be five months for you. Your union (Unison or is it BASW?) should be able to assist you with the timelines. I hope you are receiving support/advice from them. I run the gamut of emotions too. I feel like Mr Benn..never sure who I'm going to be today (does that sound bonkers?). I have the support of an amazing husband but I tell him on a need to know basis ie I have to go to this meeting today/can you check this e-mail etc. There have been times,however, I have just clung on to him and wept. I need to believe that there is more to my life than this and I will recover and the situation will be rectified or at least acknowledged officially. I am getting there that's all I can say. Massive external professional support too. Plus I have told very few friends. I have wonderful friends but I don't want to be defined by this episode. As I said I am very fortunate not to be in your shoes. It can happen to anyone. Please show yourself as much compassion as you would a colleague in the same position. This is what I do (I appreciate you are at the point of going to work again and don't have the time I do ) - go on bus rides(how sad), bake, walk, focus on my most amazing kids, clean the house over and over,mumsnet like a demon, go to the cinema, meet a friend for coffee (I have more than one) but only talk about The Situation for a prescribed time and make sure I focus on my friend's needs as well. I know you can't say much but I am sure you logged the issue as a soon as possible.Has someone higher up mucked up (sorry if you are very high) and looking for someone to blame? Thinking of you. Have you been on Apple's thread?! whoops almost signed my name...

Hello marmiteonmykeyboard...yes, I got up with the lark and had a cup of coffee, and tidied up, and took the children for a walk. Reading your not nagging words, gave me a (much needed) boost, thank you.

Your situation has gone on for 5 months?! How are you even able to structure such comforting sentences after so a long period of time under a cloud? I'm only a week or so in and can feel my usual up-beat optimism draining out of me.

I am also keeping an eye on Apple's thread, found it on the same topic - I hope things have gone well for her today. At least she will now know what the actual allegations against her are. And, there's a lot of helpful information in the thread that I hope to put to good use when it's my turn to speak.

When I think of all those unpaid hours I put in, my concern for the children and families I work with, the getting up at 3am to write reports, calls at home on my days off, I could go on, and on, and on. Matters not a jot. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise? - the powers that be may actually have to acknowledge some of my sterling work that has thus far gone totally unnoticed - and I get a break from carrying a workload that is far in excess of my actual pay/hours? Here's hoping.

Your words have meant a great deal to me marmite, thank you.

Have you got a date for a meeting yet, OP.

Sending you

Bless you Selks for keeping up with this. Will return to work next week, at a location about an hour drive away, and will have to face ex colleagues then. Don't know that meeting will neccesarily take place that first day - haven't heard from Union rep.

Have imbibed a few glasses of wine tonight, so feeling no pain - mind still on the what, when, who, why, when I finally do get my chance to speak though.

Thank you for your kind thoughts, greatly appreciated.

No worries. Let us know how it goes when you start work again at the other location, and when there is other progress. Wanting to offer you moral support through this hideous process!

I'm sure you're still devastated with it all, but you do sound a tiny bit less stressed, even if it is the wine talking tonight!

You up, Previously? Nag, nag, gnash, gnash...
Have you been able to contact union rep? Press him/her for a speedy end to this ie the meeting to be held asap. Surely if there is a true inkling CP procedures have not been followed (I believe you when you say you did follow them) there is a real imperative to ensure lessons are learnt etc I have re-read some of your posts and I am sorry to be a bit "not bright" but do you think you are being scapegoated for anything else or is this just a ghastly error? Glad you had a nice evening. You will have many more soon.

marmite Yes, I did get up yesterday! - but still haven't ventured out at all. I read Apple's thread - she's further along the process than I am, and knows now that the allegations against her are spurious.

I don't think my situation is a case of scapegoating (says she, I may yet be proved wrong) per se - but there could possibly be an element of taking me down a peg or two (by an individual much higher up than me). I don't bend the rules, I'm scrupulous regarding work-time being just that; no long lunches, no personal calls, start early/finish late (unpaid), in short, I don't take the p%%% out of my employers. Sometimes working that way makes others feel insecure?

I'll be going back into work on Tuesday and will have some more information then - I hope!

Running everything through my head constantly - not a good thing judging by the way it's making me feel, but, other facts that could help me prove my case are also standing out.

Thank you so much for being out there - Angels on keyboards you lot! I am very grateful for your time and support.

Hoping you receive fair and swift resolution of your horrible situation. Thinking of you.

Hope your week back at work with your old colleagues is going OK so far, Previously.

OP,
I have just come across this. Not much to add, but wanted to voice words of support. Have you prepared a written account of everything that happened so that you can hand this in at any meeting? Surely someone should have contacted you by now to ask for your side of events?

Do you know specifically what the allegations are?

I hope you are ok.

Hope things are working out for you. Thought of you on Tuesday.

Any news, OP?

How's it going?

Please accept my sincere apologies for not coming back sooner, I hit a really low spot and every time I tried to type a post I just broke down. Now on an anti-d and a beta-blocker so my keel is slightly more even than it was (but not by much).

Thank you to those who had me in their thoughts, it is much appreciated, particularly as I still haven't shared what's happening with family or friends. (I'm ashamed, and many of them have their own difficulties at the moment - DH is off-shore for the next month but has been there for me via telephone).

Spent past two weeks at old workplace, everyone was very nice but extremely curious as to why I was there. I was asked on more than one occasion if I was pregnant! The bosses had prepared a 'back-story' for me, but as they didn't deign to speak to me until I'd been there for over four hours I wasn't aware of it...therefore I'd met ALL my ex-colleagues and had to bluff and bluster about why I was in that office, before the bosses finally said to me that I was to do a certain type of filing, recording checks, and archiving.

I finally had my meeting this morning with the 'investigating' boss - I really don't know how I performed. I took a double dose of the beta blocker beforehand but that didn't make much of a difference by the end of almost three hours of questions. I was asked simple questions about me (experience, length of service etc) to begin with and messed those up! I felt that he was trying to be helpful, but thinking back (which I am doing constantly at the moment) I am even more paranoid than ever. I am in a state of limbo - feel that my life, thoughts, and emotions can't get past all this. I'm even indulging myself in fantasies daydreams of getting away from this life...the whole shebang of sell up and move away. I hope (HOPE) to hear back by next week of what is going to happen to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for giving me this outlet at this awful time, I am truly grateful even if I am a slack, depressed, updater, sorry

How good it was to see your post but so sorry to hear how things were badly handled. You are not indulging yourself in any way. You are recovering from a horrible and iniquitous ordeal and dreaming of an alternative life is very normal in those circumstances. I think the fact that you start with an apology (!) for not posting indicates what a kind and caring person you are. Looking back you are bound to think things could have gone better. I am sure the truth shone out. Try to distract yourself. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I am so sorry this is happening to you. I appreciate you may feel you cannot confide in friends but I am adamant that they would wish to support you though I appreciate the need for confidentiality. If you wish to contact me (sorry! brain not working today) PM? me,please do. Sending you my best wishes. I could have written some of your post. You are so brave.(I am not) Just realised - where was the union rep. throughout this?

No advice previous, just wanted to say how sorry I am you're going through this nightmare. May it soon be a distant memory. Good luck .

Hi POL, just stumbled across this thread, because of something else I was reading on this board. Just wanted to say that I am really sorry this is happening to you.

Try not to feel ashamed or embarrassed - you haven't done anything wrong. If you feel colleagues are judging you, then remember, the very nature of social work means that one day they could be where you are now. They would be very short sighted to think negatively of you, on the basis of something like this.

Are you allowed to be honest with co workers about what is happening. If so, then I would be completely up front - you shouldn't have to hide, because you have done everything that you were supposed to do.

Thinking of you - hope it is resolved soon x

Hello again, and many thanks for bearing with me throughout this horrible situation. I have some VERY good news (at last). I received a letter this a.m stating '...the matter is now complete and there will be no disciplinary action taken against you in this instance'...and breathe.

To say I am relieved would be the understatement of the year. Not even a slap on the wrist as I feared might happen to justify the investigation, just a 'back to your own job' on your next working day. (That will bring its own problems as my lovely colleagues have NO idea why I haven't been there for so long and will be asking me to furnish them with some answers - which I won't mind telling them now I am allowed to speak to them again).

The past few weeks have been nothing short of a personal nightmare, and without this outlet for my fears I truly would have been lost (NO pun intended). Every person who took the time to post their kind thoughts, good advice, and best wishes, have my grateful thanks. I couldn't turn to my family and friends because I was so ashamed to find myself in this position, and that's where MN came in, and their wonderful network of supportive and caring individuals. I hope to be of such help to someone else one day.

Marmite You gave me a (metaphorical) kick up the backside and sustained me throughout this, thank you. I hope that your own situation is resolved so happily - and I am here for you whenever you need to be nagged.

Mrs Magnolia Selks HJisoffwork zipzap BerylStreep graceinabundance Llareggub ohdearwhatdoidonow Thank you, just thank you...and karmabeliever, you must be my MN lucky charm - and can you let these dear people know that I'm normally quite a happy-go-lucky MN'er!

My eternal gratitude for your time, your concern, your ability to rationalise my most unrational moments...I remain in awe of how strangers can step into your life and hold you together when things seem so bleak. These words are just words and cannot adequately convey what I'm trying to say, I hope that thank you is enough.

I will see you all again...on cheerier topics I hope.