Warning long post!I need some advice!
If anyone knows who I am please don't out me as I have not name changed. I returned to work after maternity leave 2.5 weeks ago after 10 months off. Having returned, I have no desk (open plan office), no filing cabinet for confidential documents, no direct phone no and it looks and feels v unprofessional. I am currently hot desking at desks that are free when people are on a/l due to the team I am in increasing in size and lack of space. I manage a team of 3. 2 are new members who I have not managed before and the 3rd stepped up to cover my role and has now stepped down but is managing a major project and will be promoted in July to a more senior position within my team, but will still be line managed by me. That person has always been tricky to manage as doesn't listen and resents being told what to do if my opinions differ to theirs. They originally went for my job when I joined but didn't get the role but has been with the organisation for a number of years in a junior role.
Not having a desk has really made leading a new team difficult and the transition of this one person stepping down more so. I know it will also take time for everyone to find their feet. I mentioned this to my line manager who verbally apologized in the middle of discussing something else. I then sent an email to him outlining the reasons above as to why I was disappointed last Friday. On Monday I was called into his office and was given a real stern bollocking, I should have spoken to him in person not sent an email, he thought we has discussed the situation, he had to action my email (no result until end of April), I had been antagonistic etc. It was not my intention to be so, just to outline why hot desking wasn't ideal and perhaps a more junior member of the team doing it would have made the transition easier for all as it would have been a more solid start for me returning and as their manager. Other members of other teams had also asked me why I had no desk and he implied I had been gossiping. He upset me so much I ended up in the loos crying (which I don't normally do!). But only after 10 minutes at my desk as I didn't want him to think he got to me! I was made to feel I was making a formal complaint about it and making a big fuss. Unfortunately in addition, the second day of my return my dd was ill and I had to take that day off as nursery wouldn't have her, I then went in on the Friday which was technically my working from home day and he said the past two weeks were not smooth starts... I beg to differ but didn't say anything as it would have made things worse at this point.
I have started noting down all of these comments and incidents as I am starting to feel like I really am doing something wrong. I am keeping my head down and working and managing my team as best I can but this has really knocked my confidence. I am the only one in this position in the team. Sadly I work for a well known charity who are meant to be pro family. My request for working 4 days a week was rejected, reasons given were due to my role being too senior and being needed face to face. I work full time with slightly adjusted hours and Fridays from home. I am not finding returning to work hard per se, but when I was told I had to return full time the HR manager (who is now on sick leave) said I would be fully supported. I don't feel I am being supported. Am I being over sensitive? Over emotional? Did I have a right to gently point out I am disappointed? Was my manager right to get cross with me? I just feel like doing my job and going home and not caring now. I used to be so much more proactive and diligent.
If you have read this far - thank you! Advice appreciated!