feel like Im being bullied at work....is it my age, their culture or jealousy??

[lostlilly]

I joined my workplace 6 months ago, I am newly qualified as a nurse but did a degree over 12 years ago and have been working in related areas ever since and have a LOT of experience. Generally the staff team are lovely but there are 3 staff (all from a certain country) who seem to speak to me like S**t. They are the same grade/position as me and order me about, talk over me, be-little me infront of the nursing assistants and I am fed up with it. Its really getting me down because I love me job but I am starting to dread it when I realise I am on with them. I am off for a few days at the moment but almost lost my temper the other day and now Ive had time to think I and considering making a formal complaint.
I have spoken to my manager about it on one occasion but not mentioned any specific events or people...she said they are just jealous of my qualifications and that I do lots of things they don't and are threatened. It doesnt make me feel any better though :-(
Another manager said I need to grow some balls and stand up to them.....I hate to say it but Im woried the race card is going to come out if I make it formal

If you're working in the NHS then you need to speak to the occupational health dept and human resources. They will sort it for you together with your line manager. Also familiarise yourself with the anti bullying policy, there should be a copy in the office along with all of the other policies. It shouldn't be too hard to sort this.

not NHS :-( my managers are both very good and I get on very well with them but theyre not around 'on the floor' when its going on. I told one of them to 'get off my back and leave me alone' the other day and she just smiled at me..... I was so angry I couldve just walked out.
its the making comments like' you shouldnt be working here' and 'in my country you would have to have much more experience before working in this environment' and if I finish my drug round or jobs before them, they start ordering me around to do their jobs and then they go for a break for double the time ...its doing my head in

If not nhs then suggest you go to hr. If they're no help then are you in a union because they can support you.

do you think I should write a letter explaining what happening to my manager -by putting it in writing they have to act on it then surely.I am just worried that I will get so stressed with it one day that I will quit and then regret it. I love the job itself. I am quite alot younger than them but I am in my 30's so not 'straight out of college' age. Why do they treat me like a child and talk to me like theyre my boss.

Bastards. I haven't any useful advice. I always turned to jelly whenever anyone was a prick to me at work or school. They are cowards though aren't they - it's just safety in numbers for them.

Stand up to them - they boss you about, just say No! People treat you in the way you allow them to, to a certain degree.
Have another chat with your manager and this time be specific.

Agree with saying no when they tell you to do their job - find something else to do or say you will help them but not take it on yourself if you finish your round early (don't go on your break early, don't give them any excuse to make trouble for you).

Start documenting incidents, with detail of what happened when. If the situation doesn't improve, then this will help you demonstrate the extent of the problem to your line manager.

OP-have message you.personal info so why I havent put it on board.

Why are they always on the same shift together? Surely a sympathetic manager could help your case by doing some clever re-jigging of shifts. There are several similar threads to this one at the moment, with jealousy being the common theme.

they are jealous of you. they want to drive you mad, get stressed, lose temper with them so u will quit and they will take over your job.they are not qualified not you. Don't let this happen. write all the events in chronological order and send it to your manager to let them know what is happening. i do not think you should be worried about the race card if you have not done anything wrong. But comments like 'in my country you would have to have much more experience before working in this environment', they are trying to get you to say something offensive to them which they would then complain as racist. just don't reply back to those things. Don't do their work. They are not your boss. Do tell this to your manager and ask for advice

i've had this before myself and because i got stressed etc and I lost career wise not the bullies. what i am advising you is the way i would handle it now.

Agree with pharmgirl, get your manager to rejigg shifts

hope it gets better for you

As I have pmed my DH suffered this as a NQ nurse.Bullying is common sadly.You MUST take out a formal grievance against tbe staff and the managers who have refused to support you.Phone RCN for help.They were fantastic.My DHs mental health suffered and bsost his confidence.He is a fabby nurse and he did agency as he did walk out cis he could take no more but he suffered with unsupportive managers.He now has a trial job with a care co that are willing to see if he likes the job before he becomes permanent.Good luck sweetheart.Keep a diary and take no shit !

thanks all of you, they don't all work together, it doesnt matter if theyre together or on their own. Its the way they talk to me in front of other staff that upsets me, but I know it makes THEM look bad not me. one of them works nights only so takes over from me and keeps making me do stuff before I leave and I am knackered because its normally 9.30-10pm ands after Ive done a full shift. I did tell her to get off my back the other night and just walked away from her and got changed. I havent seen them since because ive been off. I have strategies at work and I get things done, my managers think I am doing really well and on the one hand are extremely supportive. the big boss told me a I am 'a little star in the organisation' :-) which almost made me cry because I really needed to hear some positive feedback.
I was asked to do some training to the unqualified staff and some relatives along with the Dr which was specifically about Brain Injury ....because my degree was psychology and I have a lot of experience in this area from a previous job. it went really well and they really didnt like that, told me I shoulnt be delivering training I don't even know what Im taking about!!! grrrrrrrrrrr
they are so nasty and rude

Get it all in that diary, if the race card is played or it escalates in any way you will need it.
From reading your last post you are clearly well regarded by the senior team and therefore those that matter, you are recognised as doing a good job.
Keep calm and carry on, you are getting it right and that clearly bothers them, their problem!

You need to make notes of statements like that. That particular gem needs to be fed back up the line.

Before you go formal, have you tried

• the disbelieving pause?
• the exaggerated raising of the eyebrows?
• asking "Would you mind rephrasing that?"

Something like that last statement needs to be taken seriously and not ignored, something like "well, clearly doesn't think so. But I'll make sure they're aware of your views. Your behaviour recently has bordered on bullying. You are aware of that, aren't you?"

thankyou x