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Original poster

Walked in on boss having sex. What can/should HR do?

24 replies

adelicatequestion · 28/03/2012 09:35

This happened to a friend and it is his word against hers.

He has a couple of other sex related complaints logged against him.

OP posts:
ThatllDoPig · 28/03/2012 09:39

Was he having sex with an employee? Surely this person has a 'word' as well in what happend.
If it was easy to be discovered and in the middle of the working day then it sounds like he wanted to be discovered. Weird.
Did she laugh!!?

Original poster
adelicatequestion · 28/03/2012 09:41

It was with a client.

OP posts:
Original poster
adelicatequestion · 28/03/2012 09:44

She is quite upset. He's married with children and has put her in a horrible situation. It's not the first time he has behaved like this at work.

OP posts:
flowery · 28/03/2012 09:44

The HR person's boss? Has she told someone and is not believed?

ThatllDoPig · 28/03/2012 09:44

Seedy.
Hope someone can help you with the HR side. I imagine that not much can happen unless the client gets involved.
Bet he's married too.

MagsAloof · 28/03/2012 09:44

Ummm, what does your friend want to happen? This is inappropriate behaviour, yes, but in what spirit is your friend reporting it to HR? Does she want him sacked or at least disciplined? Was she offended or upset? Is he generally a creep? What are the other sex-related things? Harassment? If yes, then she should press on with HR and get her union involved if she feels she is not being believed.

MerryMarigold · 28/03/2012 09:48

It does make things difficult for her as the boss may now want to make her life a bit difficult. I think it's good to report this, as if things start going wrong for her from now, she has some good reason to show for this. Perhaps she could tell HR that she doesn't want them to do anything about it or even to let him know they know, but just as a record that she has seen this on this date.

KatieMiddleton · 28/03/2012 10:33

Gosh I'm not sure what HR will do?! We just advise management! But seriously, my advice to management would be to deal with the complaint once it is made. Probably using the disciplinary and grievsnce processes and if there is even the faintest whiff of sexual harrassment it would be suspension and disciplinary.

My advice to your friend is to speak to her boss' boss or put it behind her.

What does she want to happen and how does she feel she's been badly treated? Everyone has different morals and how she feels is very important to judging the situation.

She's obviously never worked in banking where everyone seems to be shagging everyone else all the live long day

LovesBeingWearingSkinnyJeans · 28/03/2012 15:55

She's obviously never worked in banking where everyone seems to be shagging everyone else all the live long day

I have Grin and yes along everyone is, but I didn't.

KatieMiddleton · 28/03/2012 16:57

I did once Blush Never again. In my defence I was very drunk young

Original poster
adelicatequestion · 28/03/2012 18:13

I think he is a predator. She feels he puts her in impossible situations and when he's off shagging she has to do his and her job. They are the only 2 employees in that building

OP posts:
VivaLeBeaver · 28/03/2012 18:19

In her position I wouldn't have told HR. She can't prove it, he'll deny it. She'll end up being laid off in a few months.

LesAnimaux · 28/03/2012 18:23

I'd raise my eyebrows,give him a stern look and put in for promotion.

Any time he annoyed me I'd ask how his wife was. With a knowing look.

LesAnimaux · 28/03/2012 18:25

Oh, the only 2 employees in the building.

Yes, it is her word against his, but people don't tend to make things like this up. Do they? Hmm

KatieMiddleton · 28/03/2012 18:25

Then she needs to complain about his unprofessional conduct and the impact it has on her and the work.

As tempting as it is to criticise his morals (which sound like an alley cat tbh) I think she will come across much better to calmly state the facts. Let management and HR worry about the appropriate misconduct to manage him against and what action to take. It obviously won't do the company's reputation much good if it gets out that this man is shagging the clients and goodness only knows what kind of hell would break loose if the client being snagged complained so I would say something if it were me.

Brief letter to boss' boss cc'ing HR seems a good idea in the circumstances but factual, not judgemental.

Original poster
adelicatequestion · 29/03/2012 08:24

She has reported it, but both the boss and client have denied it, so it won't go anywhere.

OP posts:
ledkr · 29/03/2012 08:39

When you say client,i am assuming he is not ina postition of trust ie a Nurse or Dentist or something cos that would be different to banking

KatieMiddleton · 29/03/2012 11:24

Well she's got three choices. Make it formal with a grievance, put up with it or get a new job. If a report of sex in the office landed on my desk there would be an investigation and it would be taken seriously but not all organisations would take the same attitude and might only take action if a formal grievance was made (I think that is foolish because if it looks like a grievance it should be treated as a grievance just to cover the organisation's backside).

You haven't said what she wants to happen or how she has been affected. Without that it's very hard to say what HR should be advising management do, but even in banking we would not condone sex with clients ever and any employee found to be doing that would be disciplined if caught because of the risk to reputation. Employees with a sexual or familar relationship were not allowed to work together because there's an increased risk of fraud in those circumstances. Bit of a "don't ask, don't tell" culture but anything overt dealt with strongly.

IAmBooyhoo · 29/03/2012 11:29

how come i never got any of this shagging action when i was in the bank?

MNHubbie · 31/03/2012 13:43

Um... What did she want to happen? Does she think it was rape (thus the predator comment) or does she think he will pressure her for sex too? Otherwise it is just an embarrassing situation between two consenting adults.

Did she knock before entering his office?

Personally I'd have just suggested to him to lock his door next time and walked out but I've been told I'm a little odd.

Oh and if y'all think banking is bad my brother has no end of stories about life in a leisure centre. After about 7 at night there are very few toilets, cupboards or cubicles you can walk into to have a liaison without bumping into another couple who got there first apparently.

Piffpaffpoff · 02/04/2012 23:07

I once made a comment to a colleague at my work (bank) about how so many people were having illicit affairs and how tawdry it all was. I later discovered that they were shagging our boss Blush. But OMG, everyone was at it. The day after residential conferences were always good fun, playing 'who did who'.

LovesBeingWearingSkinnyJeans · 03/04/2012 00:31

Piffpaffpuff yes I'm sure my bank got rid of their stately home due to tge amount of time that was spent discussing the night befores antics rather than putting into practice tge training [frib]

Honeydragon · 03/04/2012 00:38

Banking here. Bonking in the co shower though, the toilets were full of people taking coke Hmm

MNHubbie · 03/04/2012 00:50

Sounds like a Hell's Angels pub I used to work in HoneyDragon... only it was bonking in the toilets and coke in the cellar (which was just to the side of the bar).

That was an interesting job and not one that appears on the CV.

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