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Need advice - what would you do?

4 replies

Roxy33 · 21/03/2012 22:45

I'm such a lurker on these boards but I'm now starting to get a bit upset about this so I thought it best to get some perspective on the issue. I'll keep it short and I'm ready for some tough advice.

My DD is 1 year old. I've been back at work for about 2 weeks but so far been doing only four days a week taking a holiday day each week. I decided to do this for the first four weeks and then i'm going back full time. I'm getting a bit upset because I realised I only have 2 more days off with DD before returning to full time for real. Then my H is going to drop down to four days so they can have some time together. I have a wonderful supportive H who wants me to be happy. The issue is i'm the main bread winner (by a long way) so therefore if I drop down to four days a week permanently (which in my heart i want to do as i really enjoyed staying at home with DD and still do) my family takes a big financial hit. The climate where i work (in the City) isn't exactly a) stable or b) supportive of reduced working days - basically i would be expected to do the work equivalent of five days a week and would have to be available for calls during my day off but only be paid for four days. Should I just man up and tough it out? I realise now that mothers are the queens of guilt, I feel guilty leaving my DD all week but then feel stressed and guilty about expecting my family to take a financial hit because i don't want to work full time. Am I just exchanging one type of guilt for another? Did anyone decide to work full time and regret it? People always say you don't get the first few years of your DC again but are they so unmissable?

OK, sorry this is actually long. Any advice / experience is gratefully received.

OP posts:
mrsflower · 22/03/2012 13:02

Have you spoken to your DH? What does he think?

Having had a lot of ups and downs myself in the past I think you are always best to aim towards the thing that will make you feel the happiest. The money always turns up. You just need to have a bit of faith that all will be well.

Not very logical I know but I have taken massive risks in the past (against everyone's advice) and things have always worked out for the better.

SweetGrapes · 22/03/2012 13:35

You have a supportive H so why not let him take advantage of the extra day with your dd? You've been home for a year - now let him have some time with her.
It'll be fine. Try it for 6 months and then see where you are. It is a big adjustment going back so you will feel sad initially.
Is he looking forward to the extra day with her?

SweetGrapes · 22/03/2012 13:36

and yes, you'll always be guilty - doesn't matter what you do!! Smile

An0therName · 22/03/2012 20:59

I would give it a try full time for a bit - especially as it would be so difficult to work reduced hours - trying to do work calls with a toddler can be quite tricky for instance - have to say everyone feels guilty

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