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Advice please on dealing with a toxic co-worker

3 replies

futterbingers · 14/03/2012 02:15

I work in a small section in a large organisation. For the past 3 years I have been the supervisor of a toxic, obnoxious person. I have always thought I handled her well but today she really p*ssed me off. she has always reminded me and anyone who'll listen that she "taught me everything I know" which is true. As a result she thinks SHE runs the section. She asks me who was calling every time i get a phonecall, and what did they want. today she told me what to tell our boss and would not listen to me when I said I was well capable of dealing with him. Because there were other people in the office - and I admit because I'm not assertive enough - I feel that I let her get away with bullying me. Later when she was passing behind me she stopped to read the email I was composing. I have decided to take her aside tomorrow and make it plain to her that I am her boss not vice versa. Btw, when I say she is toxic, she behaved the same way with her previous supervisor, and unofficially I've been told that she cant be transferred as no other dept will have her. She is a glass half empty person with knobs on. She hasnt a good word to say about anyone and moans constantly, about the job, other staff, everything. would anyone have any suggestions as to how to tell her to back off, without coming across as a bully myself? I should add that she has a lot of illnesses and conditions including depression and attempted suicide in the past. TIA

OP posts:
Seabright · 14/03/2012 21:28

I think, if your talk tomorrow doesn't work, you need to involve HR. since she's been the ame with a previous boss, the problem doesn't appear to be you, just what you represent to her. So probably, I think, you can't fix it.

futterbingers · 14/03/2012 22:31

Thanks Seabright, I was so stressed last night that I posted my message twice! I spoke to her today, flattered her no end first telling her what a great worker she is and that I'm very greatful for all her help, experience etc. Then I told her that I had felt bullied yesterday - I think she had already realised that she'd overstepped the mark because she wasn't surprised at what I said, just apologised. I'm sure it won't be too long before she has another go at me, but at least I have the confidence now to know I can put my point across to her. And I made notes of yesterday's events and our conversation today, so that if either of us involves HR at any future stage, I will be able to back myself up. She definitely has a problem with authority of any sort. I'm sure it all goes back to her childhood, but as you say I can't fix it. TBH I don't want to fix it; I just want my section to run smoothly! Thanks again.

OP posts:
Seabright · 15/03/2012 09:00

I think making notes was a really good idea. I'm going to remeber that myself, next time I have a tricky situation.

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