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Original poster

DH being bullied at work ( Royal Mail)

16 replies

lars · 31/01/2006 16:53

I am very unhappy with my dh current work situation, he is being bullied by his manager.

Has anyone had the same problem and what was the outcome? He has decided to speak out but I am worried that nothing may come of it but I know he has a case as his manager is an outright bully and is very cunning. larsxx

OP posts:

sparklymieow · 31/01/2006 16:55

The Royal mail are a nasty firm to work for. My dad worked for them for years, and whenever they go on strike, if he continued working (couldn't afford to strike and lose money) the other workers would rip into him. i don't have any advice for you, but good luck.

Miaou · 31/01/2006 16:56

does he keep a diary of incidents?
is anyone else being bullied?
are there any witnesses ever?
does he have a union rep he could go to?

sorry - wriggly baby - much sympathy though, it's awful

littlemissbossy · 31/01/2006 16:57

I'm sorry to hear about your DH, I have a close family relative that suffered from bullying in the work place, again from her manager and she went through a terrible time. Does he have the evidence to back up his story? If not, he needs to collect some. He could start by keeping a diary of daily bullying events and how it made him feel. He then needs to speak to his HR department about it. There was a website that my relative got loads of advice from, I'll have a look for it. HTH

mummytosteven · 31/01/2006 16:58

www.bullying.org is good.

littlemissbossy · 31/01/2006 17:03

information on bullying at work on the TUC website

Original poster

lars · 31/01/2006 17:08

Yes he has kept details but his manager always does things on a one to one, but his manager has not always followed procedures aand appears to do what he likes. He is a very nasty man and thinks he can say what he likes.

dh has gone to the union, as his manager threatened him not to go and said it will cause trouble for him if he does. What worries me, will he try to get other involves and may up false allegations. The union say he has a case, but what happens in the mean time?
I know the royal mail are trying to route out the bullies, but will this happen. larsxx

OP posts:

Shiraz · 31/01/2006 18:40

He needs to keep a diary!!! And any evidennce written that he may get!

Dp just left his firm beginning of this month after not being paid properly since sept and being bullied by teo of his directors..mostly by one at the beginning.

He was an area manager..and had hush hush, meetings with one director who told him if i left work then they would be able to double his salary blah blah. They arranged dates for his new contract to be enforce3d it never was.

They were slashing his timesheets and when he spoke out they denied everything. Cleared his desk, left him out of all meetings, took away most of his duties and booked him out as a technican. Got in another person to take over all his weeknd work so we had barely any income.

He went through his greivance procedure after rasing his concerns atleast 4 times...(by email and letter to which we have replies). The HR manager was all concerend at first then invited him back two days later and they all say and bullied him with no minutes taken so he walked out! (advised by cab)

They then said his grievance had failed...and told him he had to go to Scotland for a whole month...

He's since had two law firms saying they are willing to take his old firm to a tribunal...for breach of contract and bullying!

It al depends on what they are doing..and what evidence etc he has....

HUGE HUGS AND HOPE YU ARE OKAY!

Our finances are screwed, we have no money and life is terrible but we are getting there!

MWAH MWAH XXXX

Shiraz · 31/01/2006 18:44

And Lars dp's directors have made false allegations against dp and they becmae VERY nasty two!

Even taking a 150 mile round trip two months ago to 'visit' dp on his day of (she left a card)..bloody lucky for her i wasnt in as i fear she may of been making a very expensive visit too her doctors!

It doesn't matter if it is all on a one on one basis really as long as her keeps a daily diary! Luckily my dp was sent alot of promises for sorting out money they owed him in emails etc to our home email address...and rather abrupt messages and damning things on there part.

At first they were cunning, and i still think they think they are being..little do they know.... i am a brighter button than they are!

Tingle · 31/01/2006 18:51

Lars - my DH also works for Royal Mail and has in the past experienced bullying from management and colleagues.

In DH's office most of the staff are related or friends/neighbours including the manager (who himself has 3 brothers, 1 BIL and a cousin amongst a workforce of 40). Royal Mail do have a 'Bullying Hotline' so seem to be trying to stamp bullying out, but IMO it's just a token gesture.

What kinds of things is your DH's manager doing to him?

Freckle · 31/01/2006 18:59

Try here . This is dedicated to helping people with bullying in the workplace, so perhaps more appropriate than the normal bullying websites which concentrate more on bullying at school.

Original poster

lars · 31/01/2006 19:12

Tingle, making out dh hasn't done things when he has. Trying to get him to step down a grade, making out his work's not good enough, putting him under too much pressure ( just him), unrealistic goals and targets. Other staff have experinced problems wiht him but they are all scared of him. DH has worked for them for 19 years and has just had this experience this year, when this nasty manager took over.
He is always trying to intimidate him, but he never does this in front of other alays behind closed doors. I really hate this man as we are going through enough at the moment larsxx

OP posts:

sickandtired · 31/01/2006 19:38

put a dictaphone in pocket, have a 1:1 meeting and go from there. I did this and it worked a treat - have a spare dictaphone to lend if you want plus advice, i'm an HR manager

Original poster

lars · 31/01/2006 20:16

sickandtired, I did say that to dh but he was worried about that, recording without consent, etc.
In your opinion how good are unions on these issues. The Royal mail are a big union and must think dh has a case as they said they will represent him at the hearing. larsxx

OP posts:

Original poster

lars · 01/02/2006 09:34

Freckle the web site was very good. thanks!!!

How long will all this go on for???

I just can't stand to see him under this kind of pressure and stress. If we could afford I would tell him to leave the job, but how can he leave with just him working (the only income). larsxx

OP posts:

bella14 · 16/02/2006 11:39

I was bullied at my last work, and it left me thoroughly traumatised. I was miserable and depressed and almost lost confidence in my ability to do my job. In my experience the only way out is to leave. Its hard, its unfair, but its more important to put it behind you and work for someone who appreciates you! I don't think you can win against this type of person. I was told this, but it went against my principles so I tried to fight it. However in the end I realised I could never win. Now I am much happier in a new job, and can't believe I stayed so long.
I really feel for him. I would say to him don't loose faith in yourself, you are better than them, and I know it's easier said than done but find another job and move on.

clerkKent · 16/02/2006 13:13

I agree completely with bella14. The only thing to do is leave (by findng a new job, or possibly moving within the Royal Mail). There is no chance of the manager changing his methods, even if the union get heavy with him. It's wrong, but pragmatically the only solution is to get out.

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