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Original poster

leaving work to collect ill children from school. can your boss stop you from leaving ??

30 replies

worley · 07/03/2012 15:10

hi, I work full time, am single parent to two ds's. I've had to leave work this afternoon to pick ds2 (5) up from school as he's been sick and their protocol is to send the child home. fair enough. there is a d&v bug going around here at moment. the school rung me at work and I then tried to find someone to help me out to collect him as I knew my boss would not be happy about me leaving. exdp was not answering his phone, he lives an hours drive away from us so would have been almost home time before he got to him anyway. my parents both work so couldn't help me and the childminder was unable to collect him at that time as it would have taken her over her numbers.
So I had to approach my boss and ask if I could leave but she said no. she had no body to cover me (there was someone having an appraisal which could have been moved to any other time but she wouldn't move it. the appraisee offered to cover me but my boss wouldn't let them) she told me I would have to sort it out and it's not her problem. she did come up with the idea that I picked him up, dropped him off (where I don't know as I told her I had no one to help me) and go back to work ( I work 15 miles away from school so 40 min journey one way). So, I have just left. I know I'll be in trouble but I have to put my ds's first.

legally can they stop me having to leave work in emergency situations? I couldn't leave him at school and I had to leave. if I'm disciplined would I have a case to appeal against it ?

OP posts:

saffymum · 07/03/2012 15:17

your boss is a b.... you did the right thing leaving, your child is more important. If you are worried go to HR first thing in the morning and check your staff handbook for the guidelines. Your company must have a handbook! Or even better bring your ds into work sick and let him throw up on her. lol, don't stress too much you sound like you need a change of boss! Good luck!

NatashaBee · 07/03/2012 15:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SwedishEdith · 07/03/2012 15:31

Good grief! What did she seriously expect you to be able to do? Seriously?

Original poster

worley · 07/03/2012 15:32

I work frontline for the nhs so can't work from home or even take him with me. I had 2.5 hours of shift left to go so by time I'd got him sorted something out and got back it would have been past my finishing time anyway.
my boss is very anti children and if messages are given to her about sick children she doesn't pass them on. which has caused trouble in the past. it was luck a friend answered the phone and told me the school were trying to get hold of me. i may have a handbook somewhere still will try and find it.
thankyou

OP posts:

NotaStatistic · 07/03/2012 15:34

I agree with the other posters. Im sure your boss is being totally unreasonable i doesnt sound like your boss has any children or any life outside of work. Family comes first and if you've already tried every other possible solution there is nothing you can do.

You did the right thing!!

SwedishEdith · 07/03/2012 15:35

I'd contact HR and request some written guidance on how, practically, they expect your boss to behave in cases like this.

flowery · 07/03/2012 15:53

No they can't stop you, your boss is completely out of order, especially as you exhausted other options first.

You are not entitled to be paid for the time legally but I wouldn't be surprised if NHS terms and conditions allow for a certain amount of paid leave for emergencies like this.

redwineattheweekend · 07/03/2012 15:55

most NHS have childcare policy and you are generally allowed "special leave" or "carers leave" to deal with situations like this. Your boss is being totally unreasonable and I would talk to HR and check out your leave policy of the trust. They may also be inline for being disciplined by their boss for being so obstructive to you as well. Hope your DS feels better soon

SwedishEdith · 07/03/2012 15:57

I wonder what she tells the working mothers of sick children in hospital? "Get back to work"

jinsei · 07/03/2012 16:49

Your boss sounds ridiculous.

AgentProvocateur · 07/03/2012 16:55

Here's the information about emergency time off for dependents. Offically your boss has the right to ask you to come back to work - you are allowed "reasonable" time off to deal with the emergency and make the arrangements that are needed. In practice, most reasonable people would expect you to take the rest of the day off.

mummytime · 07/03/2012 17:08

I would also tell HR that you may have to look for another job with more child friendly policies. I know our local hospital is always recruiting and has special "parent" contracts (because it has to do something to attract people, or try to lure them back to work).

flowery · 07/03/2012 17:58

Can I just clarify, "reasonable" time off to deal with an emergency would usually be a day or two, so absolutely no right to demand return within a couple of hours.

If an employee hadn't made reasonable efforts to make alternative arrangements for care of a sick child within a couple of days it would be reasonable to query it though.

SauvignonBlanche · 07/03/2012 18:10

Wow!
NHS manager here, that's unacceptable.
Please contact HR and your union rep, if you have one, in the morning.

posypoo · 07/03/2012 20:19

I am not an HR expert but can't believe your manager tried to stop you from going. I'm glad you went anyway. I hope you raise it as a concern about her managerial ability. The appraisal could clearly have been rescheduled.

I watched a programme the other day which said that the NHS would fall apart if no working mums worked there, as a large proportion of its staff are, so would be very surprised if it supported your manager's approach.

Original poster

worley · 07/03/2012 23:14

thankyou all for your replies. the direct gov link is very helpfull thankyou agentprovocanter.
posypoo; all but one of us are mums, the manager has none and one of the others, but she understands. in the past if schools have contacted one of us at work she has wrote a message and put it in our pigeon hole and not rung us to tell us; we are scattered all around the hospital so may only get Togo to the pigeon hole at end of day. she also doesn't agree with maternity leave and pay! that's a whole other issue.
I fully expected to take toil for having to leave or even take the time a unpacked leave. I'm still bartering with her over my lieu time I feel i should have been given for working Christmas as we were given lieu time when I worked in other depts but she says I can't in this dept.
I'm contracted To stay with them for another 6 mths but then I will be looking for another job else where!

OP posts:

NatashaBee · 09/03/2012 01:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Condensedmilk · 09/03/2012 02:43

This is shocking.

I hope it all worked out OP.

ilovesprouts · 09/03/2012 04:22

bump

Original poster

worley · 09/03/2012 20:16

well... I got called to the office and was expecting a telling off.. and my boss shut door behind me and said that she was worried that I was not coping with my home life and my situation is having a bad effect on the department. she has a service to run and people cant leave everytime there's a problem. she doesn't like having to be the "bad bear" but people can't just up and leave when the school rings. (this was the second time in the three years I've been in this dept that I have been called by the school!) she wasn't happy as they had only just got me out of the hole I had dug myself last month (my son had an accident in school playground and fell from apparatus on to playground, cut his head and had a big nose bleed so the school rightly rang me and asked for me to collect him. that's was the first time I had ever been rung by either of my dc's school to collect them) unfortunately that was last month, I wanted to take it as unpaid leave but she insisted I make the time up on a weekend morning. now I owe 2.5 hrs ( although I gained toil from meeting today and next week and I'm fighting them over two hours I had to work boxing day that I was called in for but she won't give me my time back!!) I wanted to take I as unpaid leave. it she said no.
I am going to the union reps Monday as I've had a run of problems with my managers recentley and I do feel bullied about being a single parent.
I'm a band 7 so I know the responsibilities of my job Nd I've worked hard to get here. I acknowledge it's not easy being a single parent and working full time but my boys will always come first.
I am seriously considering leaving my post as soon as I can as it's just such an atmosphere all the time :(
thankyou for asking how it went :)

OP posts:

NatashaBee · 09/03/2012 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thefirstmrsrochester · 09/03/2012 23:55

I'm not familiar with employment law OP but I do know that your boss is being unreasonable in the extreme.

You are entitled to 'reasonable' time off for childcare emergencies - it's not up to her alone to decide on what 'reasonsble' is.

Your boss is a bully as well as being an idiot - see your union ASAP.

And DONT agree to make the time up - you don't have to.

TrollopDollop · 10/03/2012 08:38

Poor you Worley. Your boss sounds like a total twonk.Document everything she said plus the number of times you have collected your children from school and good luck.

StillSquiffy · 11/03/2012 08:18

What a numpty boss.

You should download and print your legal rights, take them to your boss, give them to her and tell her that she needs to understand that she is acting illegally, that it is entirely inappropriate for her to see emergency time off as anything other than a normal part of working life, and that you will raise a grievance the next time she oversteps the mark, particularly if she starts inferring that exercising your legal rights is in someway affecting your capability to perform your job.

Not sure how things work in NHS but if she then does it again I'd be tempted to go for the nuclear option here by sending an email to HR, cc'ing your boss, asking HR to

clarify that primary carers are fully entitled to take emergency leave in order to arrange alternative care for their children when they are unexpectedly ill, and that it is not appropriate for them to be disciplined in any way for this, not is it appropriate for bosses to seek to force them to make up their hours immediately, given that such time off - whether paid or not - is not dependant on the hours being made up.
confirm that working parents are entitled to be treated respectfully and that managers must respect UK employment law legislation with regard to the legal rights of both working parents and also with regard to the legal right to work in an atmosphere free of bullying and intimidation

Dottymcdot · 11/03/2012 08:29

Hi just read this, this is incredible, wonder if your manager realises just how many mothers with children work for the NHS, if all managers had her attitude there would barely be any woman willing to work for the NHS. I am sorry that you are going through this. Hope that this all works out for the better in the end and you manage to get yourself into a role with very understanding managers.

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