Complained about being harassed and bullied by manager. worried about what happens now. any advise greatly appreciated please.

[bulliedatwork]

Long story short. I have been subject of various levels of bullying in my work over many years. Ive been really stressed, upset anxious at wrk and fearful of making mistakes, which shows me as nrevous and feeds into bullying behaviour. Has cost me much sleep over time and had to leave work early as too stressed to continue. Main person is line manager, but she has been in company for long time and has many friends, and uses their conversations to throw derogatory comments about me and other workers into office.

Sadly, this isnt new behaviour, but is accepted by many as 'just how she is'. Many see it and experience it and brush it off by putting it down to her personality. Most have become accepting of conduct or desensitised to it. Since making complaint, others have joined in by stating that 'some people' blow things out of proportion and make a big deal when others just get on with it.

Fast forward to now...I have to attend a preliminary hearing and im so scared and worried about what will happen. Situation has gone beyond the point of salvage and I know that things have changed for me permanently at work. But I couldnt just not do anything. I feel like I was pushed to a point where I had to something (complain formally) or accept it as part of the job.

Has anyone got any advice please. Preferably assurance as to what will happen and how this could be resolved. This is local authority btw.

TIA

Anyone please?

Took me lots of courage to even post this.

Perhaps i'll bump later on once posters have possibly finished work.

Hello, have been in a similar situation so I have some idea of how you are feeling. I didnt make it formal though had, I was signed off for a bit and spoke to HR about why I was signed off and I think my manager was spoken to. Sadly, I don't think people like this can change and certainly in an environment where they are tolerated because 'that's how they are', there is less impetus for them to change. Sorry to sound to negative, but that's my experience. Well done for making your complaint though, you are taking some control of the situation by doing that.

As to what might happen next, in my case I moved jobs within the organisation. It was my choice and of my doing, the application was ongoing whilst all this was going on so I wasn't 'moved', if you see what I mean. I'm not sure how I would have felt if that had been suggested as a solution. Is moving an option for you?

Thanks PPP. Im saddened to learn that these experiences arent uncommon. Im sorry that you have had some first-hand experience of being of the end of this behavour. I have asked to be moved to a differnt department as I dont believe that an effective working relationship could be re-established with these people. at the same time, im looking for and applying for jobs outside of this organisation. I love the job I do and this is making my time at work intolerable.

Any other experiences or advise, pls?

sent you a private message

Have you asked your union for advice or if not a member then phoned ACAS?

Thanks for messages. i am in the union, but rep has not had previous experience of prelim hearings for harassment and bullying. i just wanted to know about the process really. im especially worried that they will try and discredit my allegation.

also it appears that the process may take some while for them to reach a conclusion. if things were bad before, they are worse now - and its so so stressful.

Sorry to hear you are having a bad time.
How would you like this episode to end? You need to decide this so we can help advise you.

Thanks for your reply EFA, to answer your question, i want the behaviour to stop - permanently, and not to be managed by either of the line manager or section manager. do you think that is unrealistic, or should i be willing to compromise on this?

tia

If you have submitted a grievance, it has to be dealt with properly, and you should be allowed to take either a colleague or a union rep with you as support. It won't be a pleasant process (I have accompanied a couple of colleagues to theirs) but there will be a concrete outcome - either the grievance will be upheld or dismissed, and the bully given a formal warning (I think - this is what happened with the last one that I attended). You should not be required to sit in the same room as the bully during the investigation, so it won't turn into a slanging match - both of you should be interviewed separately to give your point of view.

In both of the cases I dealt with, the line management chain stayed as it was (very small office, no real scope for moving people around), but behaviour was monitored quite closely. The bully boss was aware of this, and that she had had a formal warning, and did manage to modify her behaviour. In the other case, there was another complaint against the same person a few months later, and the bully was "moved on".

I don't think there is anything wrong with saying you want a different line management chain, but you may have to compromise on this.

Is there another suitable line manager that you could work for?
I have known people to negotiate new line managers from a bullying situation. You will need effective help so make sure you engage with as many external organisations and experts as you can - union, ACAS, bullying charities, occ health, your GP, counselling provided by your employer etc

Keep dated douuments about everything

Thank you for your replies, very helpful. I will be taking my union rep with me to the meeting. MrsS, when you say 'it will be unpleasant', please could you explain. i just want to be prepared in advance about what to expect. .

EA, there are 6 other managers in the section, who all report to the same head of service. So in terms of grade/scale job description etc, then yes there is a suitable line manager. however the way that officers are deployed within the service would mean that if i move into a different section, then someone would possibly have to move out. the only section that is unfilled is the section where i work, where officers have left and not been replaced.

I will call acas next week, but can you explain which specific effective help that i should be aiming for please? apart from the union, i havent been to anyone else you listed. i dont want to go to occ health, gp or counsellling as im worried it could be used against me, now or in the future. its already been suggested that i have a fragile mental / emotional disposition and possibly/probably mental health issues. i feel so paranoid about everything at and to do with work, that it feels like im trapped in terms of the support that i can access safely.

It's unpleasant because of having to discuss all of the horrible things that have happened (take tissues with you). And also because some of your colleagues may refuse to be witnesses/be interviewed because they worry that they may be next in line/worried about their own jobs. Or they may be threatened by the bully.

I haven't been bullied at work but had a junior who was moved to me after being bulled by another manager for incompetence (not that I am saying this is the reason for your situation btw). The junior colleague struggled on a daily basis predominantly because she wasn't suited to the job but also because of low self esteem due to the bullying.

My DH has also been a victim of bullying in the workplace and took it to the highest level and won and the manager had been unfair and discriminatory in conduct, although I would say the damage has been done as colleagues don't want to work with him.

If you can I would recommend moving departments for a fresh start.

It is safe to access that support and less safe not to OP.
Bullying does make you doubt your mental health, such is the nature of being bullied and this is why you need external validation.
All this stuff is confidential to you except for OH.

All you need to do at OH is to tell them that bullying is affecting your physical health ie sleep disturbance etc

Your union rep is not sufficient support for you OP, please please access more support, it is out there.