PG - attitudes at work stink... Don't want to go back!

[signet2012]

Im 13 weeks preg and a deputy manager type role. I pretty much carry the manager who is the manager through being there the longest not due to level of skill or expertise. Manager is not able to use a computer, all the work is to be done on a computer. So I do it. Manager is unable to make consistent decisions resulting in mismatched management of a staff team of over 50. The staff tend to come to me as a result of Managers inability to manage them.

I let Manager take full glory with higher levels and keep my mouth shut about the situation as we have always got on and despite my occasional frustrations we have a good relationship.

However, since I told I was pregnant I have noticed a very definate change in demeanor towards me. Snapping at me for no good reason, making out work I am doing is not getting done quick enough... (I can not do everything and refuse to stay back in my own time now due to attitudes throughout the company)

Im finding it stressful and although I am normally quite a placid person who does not speak up or her mind I have found myself sniping back....

On friday we where talking generally and joking about something and she jokingly said my hormones where terrible at the moment!! Which is untrue. The reason I am sniping back is because 6 years of frustrations have built up and Im angry that Im been made to feel bad because I am pregnant!

Anyway so thats the back ground...

I have decided that I do not want to return to the job after maternity is up but I have no idea what to do, where to look or how to sell myself. I will need to earn 700 a month min. Which would of been my wage if I go back part time to my current job.

Am I better off having my maternity leave and then when its finished start looking? Or try and line something up now? Do I go back to studying? I already have a degree and various nvqs...

I just don't know what to do!

Your manager is probably feeling very threatened and insecure if she's relying on you to do the job she should be doing.

It would be in your interests to take maternity leave for the time it is paid by the company and look for work while on maternity leave so that if you are lucky to get another job it would start a few weeks after your return fromleave. That way you safeguard your pay and current job. If you left now you would be unemplyed and unemployable because nobody wou.ld want someone whose maternity leave is imminent.

You could have an honest conversation with you boss and suggest you spend the next few months showing her how to use the computer.

If the situation is really stressing you out at work there's no reason why you can't take some sick leave. Go to your GP and explain the situation.

in my experience it is normal to feel like this. and i would agree, keep the job, it may not be so bad when you do go back after maternity leave. and it would be better to have a job to go back to. even if you get a job once you have gone back, no one can make you stay anywhere but in the current climate i think you should suck it and see. i woldnt leave a job without one to go to.

When I went back after mat leave I was offered a different workplace due to staffing shuffles and new opportunities arising while I was off. I would keep your eyes open for other opportunities leading up to going off, keep in touch with the company and what's going on as best you can while away and consider approaching higher management to ask for a new challenge on your teturn. You could always say you'd prefer a new workplace closer to home or childcare if one is available for example (what I did). Mind you, you may find your boss has a new attitude on your return having coped struggled without you for a bit and things aren't always greener elsewhere... I'm furious at my new martyr boss today for giving me a chesy infection at 34 weeks pregnant.

Thanks everyone. I need to calm down and take stock. I think I'm just feeling so badly done to as I've seen her do this to other people and always felt uncomfortable about her "dark side" but had a good relationship with her as we always got on. (In retrospect probably because I do her work) I'm feeling pretty used and fed up at the minute. I'm stupidly loyal and a bit of a doormat.

I don't feel I could have a honest discussion with her as she will only twist anything I say.

I'm going to stick it out, being speaking with DP and he has concerns about me reducing to part time in the company Im with now as he thinks Ill end up doing the same work in PT as I would be in FT and there would still be an expectation for me to be available to cover shifts if any issues 24/7 as I am now. If I where to refuse I would get a bad rota for the following month and the pettyness would drive me to despair.

We have being talking about me staying there til Mat is finished (only get stat so nothing to pay back if I dont go back) I also get 4 months full time sick pay and then a further two months at half pay so if things get too bad I could go off on the sick - never had one days sick in 6 years of service.

Feel so stupid that I thought this wouldnt happen when I have watched her tactics for the last six years!

Thanks for the advice everyone