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Original poster

That is it, I am not going back, they can sod off.

41 replies

colditz · 26/01/2006 09:43

I am 30 weeks pregnant, and work(ed!) as a care assistant. I was informed in front of half the workforce by 2 of my colleagues that I am "very lazy since you got pregnant". Maybe I am. There are nicer ways to tell someone, and one of the people who said it is the laziest person I know!

Amusingly, I was only still going to work because we were so short staffed I thought I was needed, as I hated my job and found it stressful and exhausting. Well, that weight is off my mind, obviously if I am that lazy I am no benefit to the workteam, so I have phoned in with a spurious excuse, then I am not going back.

However, my Mat pay isn't due to start until the 11th, and I can't imagine my boss wishing to accomadate me on this one, so how can I ensure I still get my maternity pay? I can just about manage without 2 weeks pay, but I need my maternity pay to start on the 11th of Feb or before.

Does anyone have any idea on what I can do in this situation?

One thing is for sure, I am not walking back into a workplace where I am so badly thought of. I was in floods last night, but can take a more philosophical approach this morning, as long as I am not going to ruin myself financially to do this.

OP posts:
Potty1 · 26/01/2006 09:46

Can you get a sick pay colditz until your mat pay starts. GP would give you a note surely?

Original poster
colditz · 26/01/2006 09:49

I don't know, do you think it is worth asking? I do feel like asking to be signed off with stress, as the situation has made it impossible for me to walk through the door again.

OP posts:
spacecadet · 26/01/2006 09:50

colditz, go to your gp and ask them to sign you off sick until your maternity leave/pay starts, you could explain that as you are heavily pregnant you are suffering from severe backache when moving clients or something similiar. I would be inclined to take the issue of them saying you are lazy, further,however as it sounds almost like discrimination to me.

heavenis · 26/01/2006 09:51

I would say the same as Potty1.

Tell you doctor that the work is making you tired and is starting to make you feel down because you can't do the job as well as you want too.Do you do any lifting,you could say your back is starting to play up etc.
Telephone and make an appontment asap.

jessicaandrebeccasmummy · 26/01/2006 09:51

Colditz - GET SIGNED OFF!

Docs WILL do it - my docs signed me off for over 8 weeks with Jessica.... go to docs, cry and hey presto!

spacecadet · 26/01/2006 09:52

you could phone the maternity alliance also as they are very helpful, i had a similiar thing happen when i worked for social services when preg with ds2.

Pennies · 26/01/2006 09:59

Were the comments made by managers or peers? If peers then I'd be to my manager to complain about them. If managers then I\d be pretty quick to submit a grievance. What was said could be considered discrimination.

Do you have to lift people and move them around in your job?

Re. not going back in if you are signed off sick your mat pay will automatically start 4 weeks before it was originally due to start.

Are you defininately NOT going back after you've had your baby? Because if you are going back you should bear in mind that this will eat into the amount of time you can have with your baby once it born.

Original poster
colditz · 26/01/2006 10:00

It is colleagues saying I am lazy, not the boss. She has been ok about it all.

What has made me cross is that I have been coming home exhausted every night because I hate to feel I am not pulling my weight, I have been avoiding going out in the morning so I am not too tired for work in the evening, sometimes my feet have hurt so much when I finish work that they are still throbbing when i start work the next day... but I am lazy?

OP posts:
Original poster
colditz · 26/01/2006 10:02

Pennies, I am planning to look for another job! I was intending to take some extended mat leave anyway, mine and dp's joint income isn't very big but luckily our outgoings are low too, so I can afford a couple of months with just tax credits (which will go up if I am not earning.)

OP posts:
Enid · 26/01/2006 10:04

colditz

my gp offered to sign me off sick over the telephone! Go and see her/him and get signed off.

F* them (your work) and enjoy your maternity leave.

Chloe55 · 26/01/2006 10:17

Def go and see the GP Colditz, like Jessica says, have a moan, have a cry, tell them you are not coping at work and they will be happy to sign you off. As for your workf-force - bastards! But then I have also worked in your field and realise that a lot of bitchiness goes on, particularly from the people who tend to do the least work!!!

Prufrock · 26/01/2006 10:26

Pennies - that is not actually correct - matenity pay rules changed a couple of years ago so that employers are NOT allowed to start your maternity leave (and therefore pay) any earlier than previously agreed, even if you are off sick with a pregnancy related illness.

If you get signed off sick now, you will receive whatever sick pay your workplace provides until 11th Feb, and then receive you maternity pay as previoulsy agreed - anything lelse is illegal.

Original poster
colditz · 26/01/2006 10:28

Bugger, I don't get any sick pay. Just statutory, and they managed to avoid paying that when I broke my arm 4 years ago, so certainly won't pay it for stress.

OP posts:
VeniVidiVickiQV · 26/01/2006 10:32

Prufrock - As i understand it they can start your mat leave if you are off within 4 weeks of your EDD with pg related illness, irrespective of when your mat leave starts.

In any case, get your doc to sign you off sick and sod em.

I would have thought though, that an H & S check should have been done to see if it is safe for you to continue doing your usual work. If that involves lifting then i would imagine there are issues with you completing that safely now you are pg and your employers would need to re-assign you to light duties or suspend you on full pay until the start of mat leave....? Im sure someone will correct me on that though if im wrong.

crunchie · 26/01/2006 10:33

Pufrock are you not allowed to go and ask if you could start you mat leave sooner? Otherwise I still agree with everyone else, I would a) tell my boss how they are making you feel b) get signed off or get your boss to agree 'light duties' or something that means you wouldn't be on your feet all day.

Chloe55 · 26/01/2006 10:33

If that's the case I would go and speak to your manager, explain that you have been offended by the comments made from your colleagues and that you are continuing to work hard but you will have to avoid certain manual handling situations - your workplace have to respect that legally. Then, go on your maternity as planned, don't tell them you aren't coming back until your maternity is up and hey, presto you never have to see them again!

VeniVidiVickiQV · 26/01/2006 10:34

Indeed - your colleagues sound like tw*ts if they think you arent pulling your weight. Do they not realise/understand that you are currently lugging around the weight of another?

Idiots.

Chloe55 · 26/01/2006 10:35

I also appreciate the fact though that the thought of doing even one more shift when you feel like crap just seems too much. \i'd still go with getting signed off until maternity if you could get by on stat sick pay for a couple of weeks

Original poster
colditz · 26/01/2006 11:08

Well, one of the women who said it is 20 and has never been pregnant. The other, her 18 year old daughter got pregnant and worked like a dog right up until her due date, upon which she had a 10lb baby.

But she also, drank, smoked and went clubbing once a week!

I don't lift any more, I think that is why everyone has decided I am lazy. They come and say "can i have a hand lifting so and so?" and I have been saying "No. I am not lifting so and so, he is 13 stone and I am six months pregnant."

But because people in the past have lifted when pregnant, there is an attitude that if you don't, you are at best overly precious and at worst lazy.

I am only 30 weeks pregnant, I didn't really plan to leave this early, I really hope my boss doesn't get stroppy about it.

OP posts:
DissLocated · 26/01/2006 11:13

I worked in HR until recently, they can definately trigger your mat pay 4 weeks before you due date if you're off sick with a pregnancy related illness. We did it all the time.

Bozza · 26/01/2006 11:23

Yes but as I understand it colditz is planning on starting her maternity leave by 36 weeks anyway so it shouldn't affect her.

TBH Colditz I think you should follow this up. They shouldn't be able to speak to you like that at work and get away with it. However I know it is a hassle when you are heavily pregnant.

As an aside some of you seem to get yourself signed off very lightly IMO.

Chloe55 · 26/01/2006 11:29

That may be the case Bozza however, I wish whils I was working I had made more of an issue about how miserable work and my colleagues made me feel when I spoke to my midwife. Since being on maternity I am like a new woman, despite being more uncomfortable I seem to be a much nicer person to be around and a lot less stressed. I nearly crashed my car and nearly punched my DH (I am not a violent person as a general rule!) when I was coming towards the end of my working time what with the snidey comments etc. I think sometimes women who really should be getting signed off work are too scared to do anything about it, I know I was.

Original poster
colditz · 26/01/2006 11:29

I can't be arsed to follow it up, to be honest, that does sound lazy, but I had a load of hassle with work last time I was pregnant and I don't want it all again. I am just not going back.

OP posts:
Chloe55 · 26/01/2006 11:32

Then again, like you say there are also a lot of people who will get signed off at the drop of a hat. I think Colditz sounds very unhappy about it though and she is in a manual handling job so if her workplace are pedantic about putting her on light duties (which they have to legally) but we all know what some employers are like then other than creating a big scene which I wouldn't fancy doing in my 3rd trimester this might be her less stressful option?

nightowl · 26/01/2006 12:28

have they done you a risk assessment colditz?, i may be wrong but i think you are entitled to one.

my company were an arse about pregnancy (only me there ever pregnant). i had very bad back pains when i was pregnant (i mean so bad at times i could barely move). i wasnt being precious, im the kind or person stupidly happy to do most of the donkey work but this time i could not lift anything. i told them i would not heft around heavy boxes of paper or files anymore and i asked my colleague to do it. she didnt, left them in the middle of the reception office for people to fall over (because she always felt such things were "below" her). my chair was also falling apart and i had to BEG for a new one and fetch it myself. some companies can be awful. please dont be upset by comments from people like that, they are quite clearly idiots.

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