Going back to work and feeling terrible about it

[mamabellasworld]

I will be going back to work soon after having been lucky enough to be with my DD all day for almost 2 years. I am aware that this is a long time and that there are many mothers who (have to) go back to work after only a few weeks of maternity leave.
However, I still feel awful about going back to work and the thought of dropping my little one off at nursery school at 7 am and not getting back home before 6 pm most days (commuting and all) drives me crazy.

There will be so much I will be missing out on and I am so scared that I will be spending too little time with her and losing the bond we share.

Her nursery school is lovely and she is really happy there (she has been going for a few weeks now). My mother will pick her up and be with her till I come home and DH works from home some days, so on those days she will have her dad around as well.

Am I being a clingy mum? Am I being unreasonable? Am I being ungrateful?

I know my child is well cared for but I can't help being sad about the time we will not spend together from now on.

Does anyone have some advice on how to best "survive" a 40 h work week away from DD?

How do you do it? How did you make the best of this situation?

Well. Rather a lot of questions but Ill do my best and what you don't like you can ignore! :0)

You lucky thing to have been there constantly or near enough for that time. Sounds like you have had help with family where needed so the occasional leaving isn't a drama. Also you have tried nursery etc settling and this appears to be ok. Thats all brilliant. Trust the nursery. Try to make friends with other mums there. Ive put notes with tel no's in a couple of kids bags to just say hi and text me etc. Had a couple of responses. Not besties naturally but its enough to keep being able to be constructively critical and useful about the nursery. We swop stories etc and its worked well.

No you are not being a clingy mum, just a mum, and a good one too. Unreasonable? Why? To wish things were different? To wish the past was still the present? No, don't be silly. Grieve for this loss of time and allow yourself time to move on, which after a bit you will as frankly your new routine will take over and move the family along.

Just try it out. Give it a bit of time, a quarter before deciding if its working, or not, love it or hate it or anything. Mostly, just give it all time. A couple of weeks doesn't cut it. Got to be a few months. Other things may change in that time so you need to just chill and go with the flow for a bit. Easier said than done, sorry.

Hang in there. It will be ok.

Echo all the good advice from laciccolina

Also remember that you have been home a long time with your dd, far longer than ordinary maternity leave, so therefore the adjustment to working again will no doubt feel a lot bigger. Children are amazingly adaptable, and often the younger they are, the more this is the case. Think of it as a normal part of life, of growing up and being independent from you. She will be off to school all day soon, so imagine the shock for her if she wasn't prepared for that by spending time with others in a structured setting

Our job as parents is to do ourselves out of a job! - to enable our children to become independent and confident beings

Also entirely normal for you to want to use your skills again and earn a living.

It will be fine

No you will not lose your bond - she is 2 years old and it will be quite secure by now. She will be fine and so will you - I work a 50 hour week , my DCd are 6 months to 5.5 years they thrive on nursery/nanny care. Your daughter will also have your excellent role modelling to grow up to as well. Be proud0 of yourself.

Thanks so much, I only logged onto Mumsnet today after an extended break. So I only read your lovely responses now!
I started work and we are actually doing quite well. Some mornings dropping DD off at nurser are harder than others but all in all things are fine.