Issues with pregnancy pains and horrible colleagues

[PinkPanther27]

Hello all, I appreciate that many of you may experience this (especially the pains!) so will keep it brief. ! am 23 weeks pregnant with my 2nd baby and really struggling with going to work every day as I am in agony with back pain (I have started having physio for this). I dread going into work every day and find it hard to concentrate as the pain is so intense. I sit at my desk most of the day which really hurts, walking is better but I'm done in and legs aching after only a few mins.

The other issue I have is that the majority of my colleagues (female of course!) are v bitchy and unsupportive. I've had issues with them in the past before I was pregnant, 1 of then went to senior management to complain that she didnt think I was pulling my weight and apparently suggested reasons why she thought our (male) manager was giving me preferrential treatment!!! At the time I was putting together a grievance with my Union rep because I was being alienated at work and there were loads of snidy, indirect remarks made about my hours etc (I had no idea this woman had also complained) Thins appeared to improve (I also proved to my manager that I was doing my work, hours etc) so I didnt go ahead with the formal grievance but made sure it was all documented with HR.

Since I've been pregnant I've had to have quite a lot of short periods of sickness related to pregancy related illness and each time I have been given the silent treatment by ALL my colleagues and a couple were whispering about me.
I am really struggling with the pain at the moment and don't think I will make another 4 months full time at work so I was thinking about seeing my Dr and seeing what he suggests (I'm not planning on returning to this job).
Has anyone else experienced these issues and how did you resolve it? I have contacted my Union rep again about the bitches (vent) but am more concerned about the pain.
Sorry its not that brief after all :-)

Hi Sorry to hear your bad experience. I've been in a similar situation but have had bitchy women and horrible male colleagues. All I can say is that there is nothing you can do from my personal experience. I spent so many of my months trying to tackle it but if there is more then one person and or unsympathetic line management chain its like banging your head against a brick wall. I ruined my health ended up with premature delivery. I 100% believe it was all to do with work stress. In hindsight, I should have concentrated on my health.

Only you and nobody else will know how much pain you are in. If pain is that intense that you cannot work then I would advise you to go and see the doctor and see what he suggests. Forget what all those women are whispering about.

I'm not sure what line of work you're in but if possible can you work from home if it is a job that allows it?

I know it's very difficult and I faced the same problem to but ignore those horrible bitchy women. They probably lead sad, pathetic lives and the highlight of their day is office gossip.

I hope it all goes well for you:)

Thanks fizzymilk, sorry to hear about your birth being affected - makes you realise how bad it can be. I've been off in the past with stress because of these women (and a male) and I feel guilty when I'm off ill - even though I'm lying in bed all day unable to do anything! Would love to work from home but wouldnt be able to, I think I'll have to see the Dr.

If you are in pain and unable to work your doctor will probably sign you off sick.

If you are not planning to go back, as you say, then going off sick and then on maternity leave would probably be the least stressful way to manage the situation. Your employer may insist you start mat leave when you reach 36 weeks instead of allowing you to continue to be sick.

If you get better and can manage to go in the you have 3 options:

1. Start mat leave at your earliest opportunity
2. Raise the issue with management informally at first, then in writing if necessary (grievance).
3. Ignore it. Get on with things then leave.

If you're not returning then taking the least stressful option probably makes the most sense.