Jobs in two different cities

[88keys]

Hello!
I'm new to this site, and looking for some advice. My husband and I are currently working in different towns: our home is in Manchester, where I work, and he is renting a flat in York, where he works from Monday to Friday. We are both lucky to be doing fulfilling jobs which we enjoy, but are finding the separation very difficult. We have been married for 3 and a half years, and are looking to start a family in the next five years or so. We would be really grateful for any advice or suggestions!

What's your long-term plan in terms of living together again? Do you have one yet? If not, time to make one and focus on taking whatever steps you need to get there.

No jobs available for either of you in the other city? Are you looking? Any reason you can't live together in between the two cities - they are not that far apart are they?

Thanks for your reply! I am on the lookout for jobs over that way, but there aren't many openings at the moment. Focussing on the long term goals is good advice: I think somewhere halfway will probably be what we go for in the end. Manchester and York are around 75 miles apart, so a little too far for a daily commute! I'm just worried that we'll spend all our time commuting if we live somewhere in between and never see each other anyway. Does anyone else manage a long-distance or long-commute relationship and have any advice?

"Manchester and York are around 75 miles apart, so a little too far for a daily commute!"

My daily commute is 75 miles and has been as high as 110. It's not that far, currently takes me around 1hr 15mins door to door.

If you both live a 35-40 mile commute away from work there should really be no need to spend 'all your time' commuting and never see each other. A commute of an hour is perfectly normal and doable, which I would have thought possible from midway. Many people do much longer.

If you're thinking about family plans you should also factor that in of course, including return to work plans for yourself.

We do a long distance thing - DH works away during the week and has done for over 7 years. It works fine for us, but admittedly might not work for everyone. We're both quite independent so it's never really been an issue. It does raise a lot of eyebrows in more traditional circles.... Especially when we get invited to things as a couple or as a family and then have to explain why one of us won't be there. Everyone is pretty used to it now though.