Boss smacked colleague's backside in front of me....

[MrsMcEnroe]

... whilst winking and leering at me. The girl in question is 20 years younger than him; he has made inappropriate comments to me before.

Does this constitute harrassment / bullying etc? What can I do about it?

It's not the only time I've felt unnerved at work - I've posted about workplace bullying before. However this has now turned sexual.

He owns the company; he is The Boss. His v.loyal PA is the HR manager. Is there anything I can do? - I feel degraded and sickened.

Dreading going into work tomorrow. Last week he asked me to go on overseas trip with him but I said no as there was absolutely no business reason for me to go...

Yes slapping your colleague on the backside would constitute harassment. What can you do? Well you could ask her if she's ok and offer to support her if she wants to raise a grievance.

I can't remember the details of your previous thread but if you're not happy with how you are being treated at work you can raise a grievance about it and/or actively search for another job.

Given the problem is with the owner of the company, I'd say taking steps to find something elsewhere should be a priority.

There are two things here - the smacking directly (which is for your colleague to deal with) and the general conduct (the winking, leering and atmosphere created by his actions in front of others) on which you would have your own grounds for complaint.

Do you know if your colleague is minded to complain about the specific incident? Or if anyone else shares your concerns about the general conduct? Because on a utilitarian note, a unified set of complaints may have greater impact.

I once worked with a guy like this. He never had any clue that his behaviour was inappropriate. He thought it was harmless fun. His victims thought otherwise. It was a small company. He was a co owner, we employed an external company to provide basic HR functions, so no one on site to raise concerns with.

I became very good friends with his wife. It stopped.

You need to speak to an employment lawyer for the technical side of things.

However, i would suggest that harassment or bullying take place over time. Individual instances wouldn't be covered. Effectively you need to keep a diary of situations. (However realise that that then can be construed that you are looking for these things to add together.) Its all very complicated as its a bit "he says / she says" and also if it were to go to tribunal your employer would go through your character with a fine tooth comb. Every office chat, email, bad word would be used against you and they will do their best to make you look the bad guy or plain crackers. It gets emotionally draining and very stressful and takes time. That all said if this is how you feel then yes you can do stuff about it. Its just not as black and white as it appears but shades of grey.....

Ultimately you need to decide, is it worth you being righteous and standing up for what you might believe is right or should you accept the situation 'is what it is' and just go in and do your job and come home again? What can you put up with or work through? Could anything else in your life be leading you to focus on this maybe more than is necessary?

Try not to get outraged on others behalf. Thats just emotionally draining for you as she may not be bothered. And even if she says over the water cooler she is she may not actually want to do anything about it or really care as much as she makes it sound...

Maybe, and Im sorry to say this, another job is in order? I expect you will think Im not supportive, I am, Ive been here too. Sometimes its just not worth it. Only you can truly decide.... Good luck whichever way you go. Its a very depressing situation to be in.

I disagree about it needing to be over a period of time to constitute harassment. I think slapping someone is serious enough to be harassment even if it's a completely isolated incident.

Thank you for your responses.

To clarify: yes, I am looking for another job (although they are very thin on the ground at the moment) - I suppose I'm trying to get my head around the fact that I may be stuck in this job for quite a while.

I am not remotely concerned about my colleague's feelings - she is a rude little madam who should have been on the receiving end of several written warnings for her behaviour recently but this hasn't happened - partly I suspect because she and the boss have had / are having some kind of relationship. She and the boss are completely over-familiar with each other; it's my own feelings of revulsion/disappointment etc that I'm concerned with! (sounds selfish but if you saw them together you'd know exactly what I mean).

I agree that it isn't worth me commencing any sort of grievance procedure as all that will achieve is that I will be out of a job. So I will stick with it and keep job-hunting ...

Thanks again for clarifying what I knew deep down but just needed pointing out to me!

Why will you be out of a job if you put in a grievance? Raising a grievance isn't likely to resolve the problem, I agree, in this scenario, but they can't sack you for doing it, if that's what you are worried about.

Hi flowery, I'm not worried about them sacking me for raising a grievance but it is a small company and the atmosphere would be intolerable if I were to do this. I don't want to make life more difficult for myself!

Don't feel defeated. You are not. You still have a good job and you have time, something else might happen. Focus your energy positively is my best advice to coping mid-long term. Can you get training out of them? Anything???

There is one thing you can do if/when you leave, request a leaving chat with your HR rep. This is often standard in big firms, I don't see why you couldn't ask for it in a small firm. And yes I understand who that would be with but thats the point. I work in a big firm and these can be invaluable to pointing out or fleshing out situations for us. It is a good time for a vent for the leaver. Not every conversation has been useful or acted upon but more than you might ordinarily expect.

Having something politely and clearly explained can really open eyes.... If you have thought about taking this further, the next person will too. And of course you would be off to pastures new and you can leave any baggage at their door!