Finding full time work and 20 days holiday really hard work.

[minko]

Have recently returned to work to a job I love. However, I am finding working 5 days a week really tiring with 2 young children.

I could manage the usual working week if I didn't feel so hemmed in by the holiday entitlement. Is 20 days a bit stingy? I've always been freelance previously and never had to worry about it. Now it seems like a massive treat to have one day off - and that's usually cos the kids are ill or if there's an inset day. I was promised flexible working but they doesn't seem to be happening, working from home isn't permitted, unpaid leave has been refused. I am struggling.

Holiday childcare is a nightmare. I hate the idea of putting the kids in activity clubs for weeks at a time. I don't have a back up team of grandparents or aunties available and my husband works v. long hours and has also just started a new job.

I wonder if maybe full time work just doesn't suit me and I need to jack it in and look for part time work (which won't be easy...)

I probably sound like a moaner. I am grateful to have this job. Just not sure I'm up to it... How do other mums manage??

Well 20 isn't legal

20 plus bank holidays is tho'

Part-time can be just as difficult

Tis 20 plus bank holidays...

ur lucky my 20 includes bank holidays!

ssd - If you are working full time your employer must give you a minimum of 28 days paid holiday a year by law. If they are only giving you 20 days and taking bank holidays out of that figure they are breaking the law.

How old are your children? You may be able to apply for unpaid parental leave. If you meet the eligibility criteria your request cannot be turned down but it can be deferred so long as it does not fall outside of the parental leave year (the date of which depends on your start date with your employer or the date of the child's birth). You get an allowance per child. I can't link because I'm on phone but google "DirectGov parental leave". Unless they are registered disabled, children must be under 5 years old to be eligible.

Can the children's father help out more? He would also holiday entitlement plus parental leave rights if he meets the criteria.

Either of you can take unpaid time off for dependents when it is an emergency or unforeseen event like children's sickness or closed school. Google "DirectGov time off for dependents".

A useful tip is to have the number of a good nanny agency. Nannies will look after children with minor illnesses that the nursery won't take.

Between you, you and your dh will have 40 days leave Plus bank holidays. So that equates to about 8 weeks. I know it's not ideal to take all your leave separately, as you want to spend some time off together, but what many couples do (us included) is to take most of the leave separately when the children first started school. Ironically, at pre school age it was less of an issue (as we had to pay for nursery 51 weeks per year anyway) but once they started school it worked well. With 8 weeks leave between you, you could cover the whole 6 week school summer holiday if you want and still have time left to take off.

I do sympathise. I'm the main breadwinner and work fulltime with 20 days holiday plus bank hols. It does feel like one doesn't see the kids enough. We manage with calling in favours from friends, neighbours, grandparents. And then DH is sometimes around as he's self-employed. In the end I think it's easier to be employed than self-0employed but that rather depends on your family set up. IF my DH was an employee with a steady income I expect I'd go self-employed or part time. But he's not so I don't. But i do sometimes feel sorry for myself even though I know I'm lucky to be in steady work!

Yes, it is hard work isn't it. My leave runs from Sept to Sept and I have only got 5 days left already due to having to take time off work. I'm entitled to unpaid carers leave as my eldest has SN, but I can't take unpaid as then we'd struggle to pay the bills as I'm also the main wage earner.

Life is a giant series of compromises though and this is just the way it is.

I know how hard it is but sometimes putting kids in holiday club for 1 week could be fun for them and then maybe you and your partner could split time off. I am lucky as my husband starts work at 5am and finishes by 2pm so in the holidays I start late so that helps, can you do anything like that? If you have a chat to your employee and they are not sympathetic maybe you could find a family friendly company? Some employers are great, there are a lot of working mums at my office and they are very flexible

prh47bridge - not strickly true. If you're working 5 days then yes if your working a continental pattern e.g. 4 on 4 off then its different.

I was using full time to mean 5 days per week. Yes, it is different if you work less than 5 days per week on average - 4 on 4 off works out at 3.5 days per week.