Which new job? Or neither? help please!

[hatesponge]

I'm a lawyer. Currently work FT just over an hours commute each way from home. I earn a decent salary by average standards, a v poor one if compared to other lawyers. My job is secure, but boring. I manage a team, I find it involves a great deal of admin and number crunching. I have to spend a lot of time asking people how they are (although Im a lawyer I am contracted out long term to a client, they are v 'people-centric' so all about monthly 121s, development plans and all the other stuff private practice lawyers are normally too busy for).

Job was bearable, but boring. however recent change in my line manager (promoted from my level- I applied but was unsuccessful) is making it intolerable. I have been pulled up on several minor things, my team is being restructured, and factions are forming which don't include me. At present I feel very much on a limb.

I could ride it out. Devil you know and all that.

However there are 2 alternatives:

Option a: to go and work for a former manager (who I get on very well with) in a similar set up to current one. Commute will be less, max 45 mins each way, and about a third of the current cost. Salary will be same, but job will also be likely to bore me in same way. Still wont feel stretched or that I'm using my brain. But will be alongside manager who I work brilliantly with, and who I know if the opportunity arises would push for more senior roles for me.

option b: private practice set up, but v v secure, good flow of interesting work. Own caseload. No team to run. Could work one day possibly 2 per week at home. Similar salary BUT a 2 hour each way commute, and cost would be about 50% more than my current journey.

I have looked for other alternatives. Jobs in my field in this area of the country are few and far between. I don't want to relocate, so am limited by that.

Any advice? A is the easiest option, but B would be a great job if only for the location!...

a and then work on networking and looking for a job like b in a better location. 4 hours a day commuting will drive you insane and unhappy - unless you could do a compressed week. Maybe 2 long days, staying over in the location and 2 days working at home ?

I could definitely do 1 day a week from home in job B, 2 at a push (I dont think the second day would be every week though). I know the commute even 3 days a week would be a killer.

I couldn't stay over as I'm a lone parent, and the DC can only stay with their dad (due to his work) at weekends.

Job A makes more sense, but the chances of another job like B coming up any closer to home is pretty slim unfortunately.

Oof, I think being a lone parent would make that commute even worse. So, a gets my vote I'm afraid. Is there any other area that might interest you, and you could put energy into improving your cv/quals in ? That way you could stretch yourself into that, plus have the thought of getting a job you really want and that works for the family

Go for a but then look for something better. A 2 hour commute sound hideous.

could you move nearer job b?

Another vote for A - you may find in a new organisaiton and with a boss you get on with the job works for you better - I assume there were reasons you got it in the first place - and agree look around for a job B with a shorter commute

If you really can't move then it has to be a. 2 hrs each way for b is just too far even with the odd day at home.

Would there be any chance of setting up a branch, though, of practice b in your area, if there is no one doing that work where you are? Then they would need someone [you!] to run it and you get the job you want in the place you want.

Hatesponge - you say your Ex can't have the children in the week due to his job, but why should you be the one to take the load? If you were to take job B and tell him that he needs to take on a 50/50 shared care of the children, what would happen?

a. never underestimate the importance of a good manager.
mine left a year ago while i was on maternity leave and his replacement is awful. the morale in the work place is non existent, everyone feels unsupported (in quite a high stress, high risk job) and it's just bleak.

there is a slim possibility of another office of job B being set up in London at some point (which would be max an hour commute for me), but there's no timescale on this - could be anything from a year to 5 years. I could probably do the commute for a year (I did 1.5 hours each way when the DC were tiny - but a year of that nearly drove me mad) but I don't think I could bear it for much longer than a year!

Re my Ex, he wouldn't/couldnt have the DC during the week for various reasons - he currently doesn't have anywhere to live, he sleeps on the sofa at his parents. The DC sleep on the floor when they go there, which is just about ok (though clearly not ideal) over the weekend, but no good on a school night. Plus he leaves before 6am so couldn't get them up, take them to school etc. His parents could help but they are in bad health so might not always be able to. Hence why he only sees them weekends at present.

There you go then: Job a until b opens an office in your area (or you get a more interesting job at a). Sorted.

Next!

Well, it seems like you are stuck with all of the responsibility for the children - so your options are a bit limited. How much support do you have from family/friends re picking the kids up from school if they are ill or have an accident etc. 2 hours is a long way to be from them if you don't have other support.